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SHTF=Squirrel Hiding in The Furnace?

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Monkeyleg, Feb 24, 2003.

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  1. FireBreather01

    FireBreather01 Member

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    You should really send that in to one of the gun rags!!! That was as good as or better than Connor!
     
  2. Monkeyleg

    Monkeyleg Member.

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    First squirrel shot went into an oak floor. Not much penetration.

    Today's squirrel has been extremely quiet. Hasn't touched the treats in the live trap.

    I'm hoping he figured out how to climb up the chimney, although I don't know that squirrels can do that.

    If not, then he's probably dead somewhere in our vent system.

    Won't know if that's the case until we can smell it. :barf:
     
  3. pax

    pax Member

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    And the question it's finally been almost long enough to ask: Did the wife ever forgive you?

    pax
     
  4. Monkeyleg

    Monkeyleg Member.

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    Pax, there's no question about forgiveness. My place in my wife's order of the universe is as follows: Zach, the dog; wild critters; and then me.

    As for the latest home invasion, Buddy2 somehow managed to get back up the chimney and out of the house.

    We still have a bunch of crackers with peanut butter in the live trap, though. All THR members are welcome over for snacks. :neener:

    Tell the truth, I was really looking forward to seeing how those .357 shotshells worked.
     
  5. drinks

    drinks member

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    This eastern woodrat was engaged in boring holes in the floor joist, I bought a live trap, put PB on Club crackers, raw peanuts in the shell and a slice of medium cheddar on the trip tray, next morning, the PB on crackers and raw peanuts were gone, the cheese was untouched and the vamint was in the trap.
    Dispatched with my made from .357 Maximum cases shot shells, 4.5gr Universal, a small fiber wad, 100+ - gr #8 shot and a card wad glued in place with Elmer's glue.
    From 15 ft, instant results and no damage to the new live trap, the reason I was 15 ft away when I fired.
    Handgun was S&W 28-2.
    The fellow was 9" long, with an 11" tail, covered with a short but dense fur and weighed about 12 oz.
    Actually, very attractive, just in the wrong place at the wrong time
    :D
     

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  6. Dusty Rusty

    Dusty Rusty Member

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    I have sprayed the screen with coffee coming through my nose! I laughed so hard my dog started barking--he thought I had come unglued. You really should send that story in to different magazines--it's a keeper! Thanks for starting my week off with a good laugh! :D
     
  7. beaucoup ammo

    beaucoup ammo Member

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    Monkeyleg

    If you don'y send that into American Handgunner or another magazine worthy of your talent..you're nuttier than Buddy (was)!

    That, Sir, is excellent writing! My daughter was at Little Brown for many years and agrees with me: getting that published is a sure thing.

    Thanks for the yuks in that most entertaining piece!

    Your Fan,

    B.A.
     
  8. Uncle Buck

    Uncle Buck Member

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    Thank you Monkeyleg. I laughed so hard I had to share it with another and they too were laughing so hard they were crying. A very funny story for a gloomy, rainy Monday morning.
     
  9. Dr.Rob

    Dr.Rob Moderator Staff Member

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    Yeah... .22 short or a CB cap next time... makes a lot less mess anddoesn't wake the neighbors.

    Of cousre you THOUGHT you were answering an intruder alert call.

    That was still funny the second time around.
     
  10. TheFork

    TheFork Member

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    wow

    You are a gifted writer, and that was hilarious.
     
  11. 1stduc

    1stduc Member

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    cryin MAOL aka ROFLMAO excelent read thanks you just made my week
     
  12. CrazyIrishman

    CrazyIrishman Member

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    OMG!.....

    Monkeyleg,

    Thats the funniest thing I have ever read BAR NONE! PERIOD! I don't know what was the funniest "scene" but suffice to say I had/have a visual of the whole thang!! (now its stuck in a loop)

    I'm only able to write this after: 1)regaining my composure, 2)wiping tears from eyes(& keyboard), and number 3.......clearing nose from an ORANGE JUICE attack! The OJ musta been "Ocean SPRAY" LOL!

    And to think I was enjoyin' a Mickey D's steak n' bagel breakfast when I happened upon yer story! It was only by sheer luck that I managed to choke down a bite of bagel before I lost control of my faculties and started laughin' like I lost my mind!


    Ya oughta send it in to Field & SCREAM magazine!


    Thanx,

    CI
     
  13. Inverness11

    Inverness11 Member

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    I know this is an olllllld thread, but I read this after googling SHTF and I laughed my ass off! I thought it deserved a bump. :rolleyes:
     
  14. artjs

    artjs Member

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    Dick

    You ARE telling this story tonight at the banquet aren't you???? :evil:

    I don't think Massod could even top this one :neener:

    See you tonight!!
     
  15. entropy

    entropy Member

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    Don't know how I missed that one over the years, ROFLMAO!:evil: Reminds me of a freind shooting a squirrel from 5 feet with a 12ga. and asking in all innocence (his first time hunting) "Where'd it go?" :p
     
  16. mp510

    mp510 Member

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    Interesting story, but I believe you used just a tad too much force on the squirrel given your situation.
     
  17. Strings

    Strings Member

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    Dicvk didn't tell Mas this story: I did, though! Even told Mas he should ask Dick what caliber is best for squirrel... :evil:

    Mas, unfortunately, CAN top this one, but I'll let him tell it (not REALLY his story, but funny all the same)...
     
  18. Lupinus

    Lupinus Member

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    never had a squirrle in the house. Have had a few mice walk right past the lazy cats who just kinda looked at the mouse, debated for a seconed, and then decided not to bother and went back to sleep.....I swear I looked at them for five minutes strait.

    I have however, had a bat loose in my house ;)
     
  19. lionking

    lionking Member

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    LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks man that really cheered me up...bahaha!!!!!:p


    ps,Ive had racoons,peacocks and ducks in the house(live on a canal,left the door open for the dog))

    never scare a duck in your house,it will fly around and (bomb) everything....lol!
     
  20. Strings

    Strings Member

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    Lupinus: the ones flying around your belfry don't count! :neener:
     
  21. Lupinus

    Lupinus Member

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    actually it was flying around my bedroom. it was captured and "disposed" of :neener:
     
  22. nelson133

    nelson133 Member

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    Once shot a rat with .22 birdshot under the kitchen table in a rented house, one shot effective. Guy I used to work with shot a rat off of the kitchen stove with a .410, the stove was a casualty.
    I have since discovered Jack Russel Terriers, they kill everything, you just can't be sure what shape the house will be in afterward. One just about destroyed the basment when a couple of chipmunks got in, but she got the chipmunks.
    i live on the water and people have asked me if there are any snakes on my place and what kind they are. Yes there are snakes here, but when I see them, there isn't enough left to tell what species they were.
    I have big oaks in the back yard that attract squirrels and one Jack Russell would lie just inside the dog door and suddenly come dashing out. Every now and then she'd get a squirrel that had mistakenly decided the coast was clear.
    I had a friend that lived in a Michigan city that prided itself on it's black squirrel population. He hated them and I got him some .22 cb caps. He slaughtered many any only felt bad once when one made it to the front door on the neighbor who used to feed them and died there. Actually I think he was just afraid that the neighbor would take it to the vet and the bulet hole would be found.
     
  23. Berek

    Berek Member

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    Pat McManus makes boucoup bucks doing that very thing for outdoor life. My question: Why didn't you turn up the furnace and roast the little Squirrel McNugget? :D
     
  24. Berek

    Berek Member

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    I guess I gotta post this fond memory of childhood.

    When I was about 7 years old, we all went up to Maine and stayed at my grandma's place which was an old colonial style with a fireplace in just about every room.

    Now, my mom is an avid reader and was reading Alien (prolly the last horror-ish book she ever read) and it was very late, like 1:00 am-ish. Most of the house was asleep, including my dad right beside her.

    As she reached the part in the book where the alien was making scratching noises in the corridor, she heard a scratching noise from the fireplace. At first, she dismissed it as her mind playing tricks, but then she heard it a second time. After the third time, she decided to wake up my dad.

    Armed with nothing but a flashlight and his tighty-whities, he examined the fireplace. Finding nothing, he turned to tell her to go to bed. As he did there was a weird growling noise now accompanying the scratching, growing to a cachaphonous cresendo. Out of no where, the alien dropped from the flu, causing my mom to shriek for a record breaking 20 minutes, my dad to expell "stuff" and the whole house to wake up.

    After 30 minutes, Rusty (my grandpa's dalmation) cornered the bandit-looking alien and engaged in a fight to the death. The "alien" (now identified as a raccoon) broke loose from the "fight to the finish" and lept onto the bed, tore across my mom's lap and right into the waiting path of my uncle's 10-guage loaded with rock salt. (Did you know that makes a serious mess out of a hardwood floor???)

    I was told that the bed was thrown out due to the acid that the alien had lost as he attempted his escape over the mattress, but we all know what the yellowish liquid that burrowed into the fabric really was.
     
  25. MovieDemocom

    MovieDemocom Member

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    Another Tale of Home Invasion – with a Made for Internet Movie

    First, sorry to those of you that might be offended by the ‘shameless plugging of a website’ – that is the whole idea behind me creating this movies and I can’t separate the too at this point.

    However, I do not post in forums like this (posting ads) because I feel it crosses a line – BUT a buddy sent me Moneyleg’s wonderful SHTF story after I sent him my latest movie. I was so excited to read Moneyleg’s tale that I wanted to point you to a similar story I made into a movie.

    http://www.moviedemo.com/mdd/link/Singeer-the-Movie-on-youtubecom/

    I think Moneyleg’s SHFT would have much better action scene. :eek:
     
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