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Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared for Full-Scale Zombie Attack

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Justin, Oct 19, 2005.

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  1. Justin

    Justin Moderator Emeritus

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    THE CHAIR IS AGAINST THE WALL
    Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared for Full-Scale Zombie Attack

    October 19, 2005 | Issue 41•42

    PITTSBURGH—A zombie-preparedness study, commissioned by Pittsburgh Mayor Tom Murphy and released Monday, indicates that the city could easily succumb to a devastating zombie attack. Insufficient emergency-management-personnel training and poorly conceived undead-defense measures have left the city at great risk for all-out destruction at the hands of the living dead, according to the Zombie Preparedness Institute.
     
  2. geekWithA.45

    geekWithA.45 Moderator Emeritus

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    Actually, of all the urban centers in the US, Pittsburgh is probably the city with the most guns, and the least severe Dem infection.

    In any event, they're surrounded by Pennsyltuckians, so the hordes of zombies aren't going to be going too far.
     
  3. HighVelocity

    HighVelocity Member

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    :eek:
     
  4. Kurush

    Kurush Member

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    Eastern PA? Evacuate through Larimer and East Hills? Someone is very confused about 'Burgh geography.

    Bring em on, with all the guns in this city the only hard part would be shoveling the zombie-remains into the river.
     
  5. Dr.Rob

    Dr.Rob Moderator Staff Member

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    Funny they recommend a go-bag with a Glock 17 and 50 rounds of ammo... no shotgun?

    :uhoh:
     
  6. Justin

    Justin Moderator Emeritus

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    High capacity and headshots. ;)

    That said, the round count did strike me as being a tad on the low side.
     
  7. itgoesboom

    itgoesboom member

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    Yeah, most of the members here carry that when they go to church on Sunday. :D

    I.G.B.
     
  8. matis

    matis Member

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    I simply cannot understand your responses.

    You think bullets effective against the living "dead"??

    You watch too much television.



    I, on the other hand, AM prepared.


    I'll have you know that I wear around my neck, a SILVER Mogen David (Jewish Star).

    I'd just whip it out and point it right at 'em.


    (Actually I sometimes watch TV, too.)


    matis
     
  9. Preacherman

    Preacherman Member

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    I liked the reference to FUMA - Federal Undead Management Agency. :D
     
  10. torpid

    torpid Member

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    Beat me to it...

    :eek:
     
  11. Dionysusigma

    Dionysusigma Member

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    Sorry, matis, but that only works against vampires. Jewish ones at that... :D Same with holy water, garlic (hummus?), wood, etc.

    Undead require destruction of the zombie's brain, best done with a shotgun or SP/JHP to the head. If you want to go hardcore, use a battle axe or a kukhri. :evil:
     
  12. nfl1990

    nfl1990 Member

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    You only carry ONE gun and fifty rounds for it at church?!?!?
     
  13. Vitamin G

    Vitamin G Member

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    While I might agree with you on the most guns, I dont think Pittsburgh has had a republican mayor since the 1920's, or something like that.

    I know personally, I have enough guns to fend off a medium sized zombie elementary school, and a complete zombie baseball team that we don't want anyways.

    Come to think of it, thats a great strategy! If we just make sure the Pittsburgh Pirates become zombies early in the game, the living are sure to win!
     
  14. Warren

    Warren Member

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    The good thing about a Zombie attack in PB would be that Bill Cowher could finally find a quality back-up quarterback.
     
  15. Dr.Rob

    Dr.Rob Moderator Staff Member

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    Fifty rounds is an alwful slow reload without a spare magazine.

    ;)
     
  16. matis

    matis Member

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    Quote:
    Sorry, matis, but that only works against vampires. Jewish ones at that... Same with holy water, garlic (hummus?), wood, etc.

    Undead require destruction of the zombie's brain, best done with a shotgun or SP/JHP to the head. If you want to go hardcore, use a battle axe or a kukhri
    ________________________________________

    OK, Dionysusigma, I'll save the Mogen David for Jewish Vampires.


    For the rest, I have an 870 and I've enjoyed reading most of Dave McC's posts.

    So I'm ready.

    (Maybe I should keep an eye open for good deals on 5-6 more 870s? Put mag extensions on all of 'em and keep 'em all loaded with double O buck and stacked in the bedroom. You know -- for New York reloads?)

    matis
     
  17. Borachon

    Borachon Member

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    Pittsburg is a Northern State. A state that once actively fought against the South. Zombies that go looking for brains there will die of starvation in a week.

    Threat removed.
     
  18. Subby

    Subby Member

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    Southwestern PA was primarily settled by Virginians. George Washington once owned the next town over, and I've seen old articles dealing with the local slave trade. We may be north of the Mason-Dixon, we definitely aren't yankees.

    Sub
     
  19. Wasz

    Wasz Member

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    Heh I live about 5 min away from Larimer in North Huntington. I wouldnt say its liberal around here too much seeing as today I saw a guy flying a standard size rebel flag in his beat up pick up truck on a stand made of 2x4. Im sure we could handle a small scale zombie problem. If not then Ive heard it said and seen it myself that PA is basically Pittsburgh and Philly with a nice big T shape of whats basically transplanted Alabama through the middle of the state so we'll just send for reinforcements.
     
  20. Kurush

    Kurush Member

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    Now you've done it! I can stand being called brainless, but nobody steals our "H" and gets away with it!!!! :cuss: :fire: :cuss:

    :neener:
     
  21. MaMa PyCb

    MaMa PyCb Member

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    any urban area is screwed...... the thing thats scary about zombies is not the zombie itself, rather the fact that theres soooooooooooooooooooo many of them, plinking 50 of them isnt enought, you need to keep safe untill they all decay past the point where there mobile and hope that theres not alot of fresh ones lingering.... after all zombies arent all that, theres just lots of them and you know the expression" never underestimate stupid people in large numbers".

    Oh and fire is a very big NO-NO. as they feel no pain and would simply walk arond catching other zombies on fire, them *foomp* the whole city goes up, people and zombies alike.. sooo:banghead:

    load up on Semi-auto AK's with bayos, and Plenty of ammo....
    12 gagues, and ammo...
    Lots of pistols.......
    Water,
    And get the hell out of the city!

    Find a tall, sturdy bulding, bar the doors, and start growing you own food on the roof... if you were smart you brought a harpoon to shoot deer and other critters to eat as you can just reel them back to base.:D

    Good advise to follow from you Local Z-Day crew office #1
     
  22. cracked butt

    cracked butt Member

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    To the people of Pittsburgh- don't feel bad, as the movie "Dawn of the Dead" illustrated, Milwaukee and its suburbs wouldn't fare too well either. :banghead:
     
  23. Kurush

    Kurush Member

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    Funny you should say that, the original Dawn of the Dead was filmed in a mall just outside Pittsburgh.

    Yeah but Pittsburgh dems mostly aren't liberals.
     
  24. dustind

    dustind Member

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    At least we finally know what it would take for the government to start looking for brains. :D

    http://zombiesquad.theedge.net/phpbb2 Seems to be the best zombie defense and preparedness website around. It has lots of information about anti zombie tactics, weapons, and living post TEOTWAWKI. It is pretty sad that I not only know about zombie forums, but can say which one is my favorite.
     
  25. anapex

    anapex Member

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    And "Night of the Living Dead" was also filmed very close to Pittsburgh. After growing up watching these classic movies ANY SW PAer should be good to go against zombies.
     
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