True Story - or "How I Won Permenant OPFOR Duty"
LT Brown was brand new to our unit. Replacing our old LT who just got his Captains bars and a step up to Company Commander.
Brown was a walking one man Cluster-F. Ate Up as we would say. An ROTC graduate that suddenly became the font of all that is military - you coulnt tell him ANYTHING.
We were out in the field doing some exercises on 11B matters... when the wind started to kick up some dust. Most of the guys pulled out the little film cannister type covers, and others used various bags secured with a rubber band.
Brown used a Trojan and from what we could tell it was "Ribbed for His Pleasure". (No, we didn't like Brown and we wanted OUR LT back!) He was running between positions telling men to move up or move over.... his circular defense perimeter had to be a perfect circle. (whole other story there!) Someone to my left remarked "What a waste!" Referring to the condom. I wispered back "What else is he going to use it for?"
He was Right Behind Me.
After that moment, I was assinged to OPFOR every time...
Brown didn't realize it, but he awarded me the distinct pleasure of personally taking his arse out with the first shots of any ambush or engagement. In fact, just for fun, I would infiltrate the camp or snipe him from long range even when the OPFOR wasn't actively attacking.
He lost a lot of sleep. Sucker.
Oh, and if Brown is a THR member nowdays....
YOU SUCK!