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The "expert"

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by NotQuiteSane, Feb 22, 2003.

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  1. NotQuiteSane

    NotQuiteSane Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Klamath Falls, Jefferson
    I live across the street from a real, um, uh, something.

    I've learned a lot from this guy. Supposedly ex navy, & sherrifs deputy. things like:

    CSI is a reality show.

    All firearms in Oregon must be registered

    by federal law, a revolver may only hold 6 rounds, pistols, & long arms 5, including one in the chamber. Due to this law, there are no weapons made that do not conform.

    Bobby Kennedy was shot with a semi-auto (and not the 9 shot H&R found in sirham's hand)

    The Marine corps makes air rifles based on the m14 (true), which is the favorite weapon of the recon teams, because it is silent

    Almost every police department in the United States uses S&W revolvers. those that don't use Colt revolvers.

    S&W provided funding to start Colt, Schofield, Frontier and Ruger

    The .30 carbine is the best deer rilfe you can buy, but a 32-20 is a good second choice

    Teh 10mm cartridge is illegal because it is armor peircing. It will also blow a man's head clean off

    I'll get 10 more MPG if I put dual exhaust under my truck (ever hear of the guy who put every gas saving device he could find on his car? he had to stop every 5 miles to bail the gas out)

    16" rims will not work on my scout, they're too big

    The aids virus is a secret plot by the iranian and vietnamese governments, they invented it, infected their agents, then sent them over here to infect us

    and my personal favorite:

    Some people are really good with computers. like that little retarded 8 year old boy who broke into the russians system, found the codes for the rockets the russians have on the moon. He re programed them so they'd hit russia instead if they're launched. got an award from the president for doing that.

    Unfortuantly, the last time the russians were up there, they discovered what happened, and pointed them back at us. But don't worry folks! that kid will break the codes again, and then we'll be safe again

    I keep looking for his crack pipe, but I can't spot it.

    NQS
     
  2. Jack19

    Jack19 Member

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    What planet does he live on? :D
     
  3. Airwolf

    Airwolf Member

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    Southern PRK
  4. El Tejon

    El Tejon Member

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    Location:
    Lafayette, Indiana-the Ned Flanders neighbor to Il
    Ask him about the Glock 7!:D
     
  5. Tamara

    Tamara Senior Member

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    Be glad...

    ...most of us have to pay for quality entertainment. ;)
     
  6. Nathaniel Firethorn

    Nathaniel Firethorn Member

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    Exit 8A, Peoples' Republic of Corzinistan
    Why do I suddenly have The Ramones' "Lobotomy" playing in my head? :scrutiny:

    - pdmoderator
     
  7. Quantrill

    Quantrill Member

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    Location:
    Flagstaff, Az., USA
    Just keep an eye on this guy and keep him away from your loved ones and your home. Quantrill
     
  8. dakotasin

    dakotasin Member

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    this is the kind of guy that i loved to see at work. serious entertainment and break from daily monotony. usually wouldn't take much to get some really great stuff out (quotes). shotguns are usually a great topic w/ these folks, as is big bore hunting (375 or 416 for deer)...

    the downside is that if you spend much time w/ him at work, he'll think of you as a friend, which isn't so bad, but then he'll think its ok to stop by your house <-- (this is undesireable).

    enjoy, and don't worry about making corrections - wouldn't sink in anyway.
     
  9. Cliff

    Cliff Member

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    Location:
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    Yeah, what dakotasin said, Remember that movie "The Cable Guy"?
     
  10. hksw

    hksw Member

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    Like some have said, keep our distance from him. But, IMO, I wouldn't ignore him, he is a great source for a little comedy.
     
  11. 3 gun

    3 gun Member

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    Location:
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    I think he works with me or he has a brother:what:
     
  12. BerettaNut92

    BerettaNut92 Member

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    Ask him if he has a 'Deagle' or an AWP? :D
     
  13. Old Fuff

    Old Fuff Member

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    Gee ... I thought I was a "gun expert" (self-apointed) but I didn't know any of this stuff. Wait until I tell the rest of the guys .....
     
  14. NotQuiteSane

    NotQuiteSane Member

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    Location:
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    Hey,

    Did you guys know if you shoot someone with a .45, they'll fall down, but if you use a 9mm, it'll physically pick up the guy and toss him forward?

    or that there was never any such person as George Luger, and that walther invented the p38 luger (there's also no such gun as the p.08 luger) after wwII? (damm time traveling Nazi agents, going back in time to resupply their troops!)

    Also, any LEO's on board, IF you ever aspired to getting a college degree in your field, sorry, but there are none avadiable. If you have a degree, well, then obviously, you're lying.

    NQS
     
  15. 4v50 Gary

    4v50 Gary Moderator Staff Member

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    I for one am glad that that "expert" lives in your neighborhood and not mine.
     
  16. cratz2

    cratz2 Member

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    I think he nailed pretty much all of them except HIV was engineered by the French to control the population in their colonies in Africa.

    Ohh, and the 8 year old hacker was autistic, not retarted. ;)

    Guess this guy needs to get a job in the hunting department of a large sporting goods store.:D
     
  17. dairycreek

    dairycreek Member

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    Location:
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    I thought all experts were from Portland!

    Not K-Falls. Good shooting;)
     
  18. coonan357

    coonan357 Member

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    Location:
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    NQS , Thanks for the tip Off... hey guys he's in oregon!!! another escapeee from the liberal suburbs of chicago now caught ...:D
     
  19. bogie

    bogie Member

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    Oleg - can we add smilies to the list? We need a tinfoil hat one...
     
  20. Quartus

    Quartus Member

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    Well of course, you idiot! Just put your brain in gear and think about it! He couldn't have been shot with a 9 shot revolver because there aren't any! Du-uh! He just told you that a minute ago! Ijit! :rolleyes:


    :D



    Hey, why not splurge a little. Locate a gunstore that carries 10mm on the shelf. Take him for out for lunch at Denny's one day. On the way, run an "errand". Stop by that little store and buy a box. If you can find a shop that has a 9 shot revolver on the shelf, so much the better. Don't rub it in, don't say "I told you so!". Just buy the ammo in front of him, fondle the 9 shot a little. Maybe ask the proprietor something like, "Hey, isn't that stuff illegal? I heard it's armor piercing." Don't direct your comments to the expert - don't challenge his 'expertise' directly. Just play it cool.


    I'll be you don't hear much more from him for a while.



    :D
     
  21. Ed Brunner

    Ed Brunner Member

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    Location:
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    Weeing in the wind

    Facts won't change the guy.
     
  22. ahadams

    ahadams Member

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    Location:
    Missouri
    Hey nqs - have you thought of talking this guy into applying for one of those 'survivor' type TV shows? could give a whole new meaning to the phrase "reality television".
     
  23. JamisJockey

    JamisJockey member

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    Hey Joe

    Sure this guy isn't a bonafide Marine Sniper?
    Last guy I met like that claimed he was...so I introduced him to a friend that really was...it went downhill from there...
    :neener:
     
  24. mons meg

    mons meg Member

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    Location:
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    A guy at my last job probably believed everything you said, plus he told us with a straight face that the cloud lines streaming behind high flying aircraft are actually gases the Government sprays to make the population more docile.

    He also wore sweat pants with very little...ah...support. *shudder*
     
  25. Zundfolge

    Zundfolge Member

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    I take it he's one of those guys who thinks the shockwave from a .50bmg is powerful enough to kill you if the bullet travels within a foot of you. :neener:
     
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