9mm, thanks for starting this thread. It has been interesting to read. I agree with you that "stance" is somewhat of a misnomer. It is more about the philosophy.
When I first started shooting pistols, I was all about the weaver, without even knowing it. For feet and arms. When I started to try getting serious about it, reading things online, and I adopted the Isosceles philosophy in the arms, I greatly improved. It was a revelation to realize, "Wow, I don't need to fight the recoil, I can just accept it" or manage it, as you say.
I still sometimes revert back to weaver feet (modified isosceles?), but apparently my torso is still twisted toward the target, and I maintain the isosceles arms somehow.
Regardless of which "stance" someone chooses, I think the argument (in favor of weaver) that the weaver presents a smaller target to the bad guy...is rather weak.