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What caliber for chainsaw weilding crocodiles?

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by tjy2001, May 1, 2006.

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  1. tjy2001

    tjy2001 Member

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    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060428/od_nm/crocodile_chainsaw_dc_1

    Cantankerous croc bites off more than it can chew

    CANBERRA (Reuters) - A cantankerous crocodile chased a man removing a storm-felled tree from its pen before stealing his chainsaw, shattering a few teeth in the process.

    The aptly named Brutus, a 15-foot saltwater crocodile kept as an attraction at the Corroboree Park Tavern in Australia's Northern Territory, took offence at the noise of the chainsaw as the man cut the fallen tree, tavern co-owner Linda Francis told Reuters.

    "Freddy had climbed out on to the tree and was removing a limb when the crocodile just erupted from his pool about 20m (60 ft) away and used the tree to launch himself up at Fred and the chainsaw," Francis said Friday.

    "Fred virtually gave him the chainsaw, shoved it at him. It was still going and he took the chainsaw onto the ground and proceeded to smash it and it stalled. The crocodile didn't cut himself, just broke a few teeth."

    Brutus then took the chainsaw into his pond and played with it for about an hour, destroying it, before losing interest.
     
  2. Can'thavenuthingood

    Can'thavenuthingood Member

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    It'd have to be a SAW to be competitive, maybe an M249, (5.56?)

    SAW, getit? SAW.

    Its late.

    Vick
     
  3. mindwip

    mindwip Member

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    ah thanks for that post, made me laugh, just wish i could send that nice animal after the drum set that the person who lives across from me plays, and badly at that.:cuss:



    wow my first post
     
  4. grimjaw

    grimjaw Member

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    My dad and I decided to cut down some diseased peach trees at the farmhouse one year. Some bumblebees didn't take kindly to the notion. One of them made a balloon out of my thumb (stung me twice through a jersey glove) and chased Dad down the road, him swinging a 2x4 the whole while.

    Lesson: don't mess with an animal's favorite tree.

    jmm
     
  5. Lupinus

    Lupinus Member

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    Or the evening before head out to the tree with a realllllly big can of wasp spray ;)
     
  6. Cacique500

    Cacique500 Member

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    Sounds like Brutus needs to be made into a nice meal and a set of leather boots.
     
  7. Firethorn

    Firethorn Member

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    Be quiet around the sleeping croc?

    I mean, it 'played' with the saw for an hour afterwards? :eek:

    Must have really been cranky. :D
     
  8. usp9

    usp9 Member

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    The poor animal made a mistake any of could make also and confused the chainsaw for a RONCO HOME DENTAL TOOL, ($19.99 PLUS $5.01 s&h). :)
     
  9. Double Maduro

    Double Maduro Member

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    That explains it all. Keeping a big crock like that at a tavern? Then messing around during happy hour?

    What were they thinking?

    DM
     
  10. stevekl

    stevekl Member

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    Clearly .401 winchester or .50-70 is the answer.
     
  11. Azrael256

    Azrael256 Member

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    Dude, did you read the article? Crocodiles with chainsaws. That's like arachnids with energy weapons or flaming zombies.

    Dust off and nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
     
  12. gazpacho

    gazpacho Member

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    The Air Force has a cannon that would work real well in this instance. It shoots chickens. As Ammo.
     
  13. Impala

    Impala Member

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    Well I'm not exactly sure just how thick a crocodiles skin is, but I'll bet that it's fairly thick. As a rule of thumb you should always overestimate the amount of force you use when faced with charging animals (esp.armed serial killer type animals and robots/cyborgs)
    Shooting chickens at a few hundred fps won't permenantly disrupt neural functions but may stun the croc for a few minutes.
    I think "Burt" from Tremors would have something interesting to say about weapon applications in the event of large reptile attacks.

    Back to my overuse of force thing I would definitely use a Lahti 20mm antitank rifle as seen below:
    [​IMG]
    (please excuse the crudeness of this drawing, i only spent 10min on it in mspaint)
    Some may say that 20mm is too much power to use, but I think it's a reasonable application of power as the crocodile is weilding a chainsaw, a CHAINSAW for cripes sake!! I don't know if that bothers any of you, but it scares the living piss outta me! It's the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night, like samauri gorillas or cyborg chicken stormtroopers these chainsaw massacre crocodiles are a threat to americans and our constitutional rights.
    the news story says the guy was up in a tree, it would be hard to employ a Lahti when up in a tree as they are over 7 ft long and weighs 110lbs, so perhaps the good ol' Mag. Rsrch. BFR single action in .450 Marlin
    is the gun to use...
     
  14. High Planes Drifter

    High Planes Drifter Member

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    Crocodiles' arms are very short. How would they pull the crank rope to start the chainsaw? :scrutiny: Plus the fact that they dont even have thumbs for correct handling, priming, chocking, pouring gas, etc......


    Crocodile medicine- Barrett .50BMG
     
  15. Double Maduro

    Double Maduro Member

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    HPD,

    Read the post again, the chainsaw was already running.

    I think we need a law to keep chainsaws out of the hands and mouths of reptiles and amphibians, some thing could get hurt.

    It's for the crocodiles!

    DM
     
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