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What do you do......

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by juggler, Sep 23, 2005.

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  1. juggler

    juggler Member

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    When you find (after 15 years of marriage) that your significant other views you as an extremist because;
    • You state that having a weeks worth of food and water (for all in the household) is a minimum requirement. (I’d rather have 3 months worth)
    • That you should have a plan to deal with people that want to take what you have.
    • That informing the authorities (Call 911) will NOT remedy the situation………..since you live so far out in the boonies that you have one resident state trooper to police the entire area.
    • You believe that you and you alone are responsible for your continuing well-being in any given situation.

    :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

    I made the mistake (?) of presenting the hurricane scenarios as a premise for having to support ourselves……..it went down-hill from there.


    So, what now? Develop a SHTF procedure without involving the significant other and hope that she will come around when she realizes that life is not what you see on Survivor?
    :confused: :confused:

    Or (this is what is bothering me) develop a SHTF procedure that provides for the best you can do, deal with the fact that the significant other will not get on-board, and go on.

    This really bothers me because it caught me off-guard. I thought I knew this person, and she blind-sided me. I am bummed.

    Not to worry………..these things will pass (one way or the other). Just wanted to vent, and there are more kindred spirits here than anywhere else I know.

    Commiserate or comment at your leisure………..misery loves company. :neener:
     
  2. Gunpacker

    Gunpacker Member

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    You mean she just found out??

    Heck, I would just go ahead with whatever preparations I wanted to and not even involve her. It would be a great "I told you so" if you ever need it. If not, just cycle the food through on a regular basis. A week supply is just well stocked pantry. As for BOB and such, just keep it ready as you feel you will want it. Ready only to add the last touches, GUNS. Women, after all, are expected to think we are extremists. My wife is a Brit, and she kinda looks at me strangely when I get another gun, ammo or good stuff. I don't care, and she loves me anyway.
     
  3. GI Jane

    GI Jane member

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    That's sad, I am sorry for you. Dh and I had this talk before we got married.
    Trying to convince her in a SHTF situation won't be great, I think you should try to ease her into it. Extreamest maybe or maybe not best to be safe than sorry in my eyes.

    Don't want to end up like thoses people at teh "SUPER DOOM" my God that was awful, but it could have been alot worse...

    Don't fight with her about it as this might just make it worse but do ease the transition into play and do always have a BOP ready and be prepared do kiddnap her if you must... :evil:
     
  4. MikeIsaj

    MikeIsaj Member

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    This makes me appreciate the woman I married even more. She's the one who insists that the camper remain in the back yard (not storage) packed with the basics and ready to go. It makes last minute get-aways easier and provides instant mobile shelter in a SHTF. We actually have a check list for a prioritized loading of vehicles depending on time available. On 9/11 we were surrounded by the three sites. She called me to discuss bug out options, and pointed out that since she works closer to home, we needed a hitch on her van also.
     
  5. myrockfight

    myrockfight Member

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    I feel for ya...

    I am dating a girl right now that thinks preparation for real world realities is..."weird."

    We had a very long multi-day discussion on where she thinks it is reasonable to carry concealed and where it is not. After I stopped laughing at the ridiculousness of her assumptions that SHTF only in particular places, I casually explained what was wrong with her lack of reasoning.

    She also doesn't understand the whole stocking up for SHTF scenarios. Which is equally hilarious and ironic because she considers herself to be a big "planner". :rolleyes: A couple of weeks ago I purchased an extra 35 gallons of gas just in case we came across a short term supply problem due to Katrina. At first she thought it was ridiculous. Then gas stations started running out of gas. So the "ridiculousness" of it all was quelled a bit.

    I explained to her that she is just going to have to respect my decisions. End of story. It is that or nothing. To that she agreed.

    Unfortunately, what is said is not always what is done. Lack of respect trickles into other aspects and subjects. So this one isn't going to last anyway. What can you do? ...I'm just venting a little myself.


    I think you just need to do your thing. If she doesn't want to include herself in it, that is ok. You are just looking out for your family. You are informed and understand how and why you need to do something. She doesn't. That is ok too. You don't have to cram it down her throat. Just let her be and hopefully she will let you go on your merry way - looking out for her best interests :)
     
  6. XLMiguel

    XLMiguel Member

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    Owie!! :banghead:

    You didn't say what part of the East Coast your located in, but here in the mid-Atlantic, we are subject to hurricanes, tornadoes, and blizzards (including freezing rain), all of which can take out power and communications for 3-10 days, even if you aren't close to the 'coast'. You may not have to evacuate, but food, fuel, water, and other necessities can be in rather short supply in rahter short order, and population density really increases the opportunity to encounter and deal with gross stupidity and hostile behaviour very likely.

    Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. True dat. Get on with your preps, one of you has to be responsible. Good luck.
     
  7. rick_reno

    rick_reno member

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    Explain to her that in a bad situation she either be an ally or a meal. Let her make her mind up on which she role she wants to play.
     
  8. GI Jane

    GI Jane member

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    I myself just got done reading "Patriots" by Jame wesley rawls, it was a good read and the book explaind alot of thinks that could very well happen. It is a book and he wrote it so not everything will work out "JUST PERFECT" but it's a great book that could very well happen. Maybe if you could get her to read it, it might open her mind a little.
     
  9. Mnemesyne

    Mnemesyne Member

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    You sure you don't live out here in Meigs county :D That's about the extent of our police around here as well...

    As far as your SO goes...I'd prepare anyways and if and when SHTF she'll be quite thankful you did plan in advance....Husband and I have been working on setting up my mom since she's more rural then we are.....
     
  10. Vern Humphrey

    Vern Humphrey Member

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    Do what I do -- decide what's best and go ahead with it. Put up smoke detectors. Buy fire extinguishers and put them in the kitchen and other places where a fire is most likely to start. Buy a first aid kit and keep it in a safe place that everyone knows about. Get chains for your cars. Keep a pistol in the night stand and a shotgun in the closet or in a rack over the bed.

    Living where we live -- some 5 miles from the nearest paved road -- one good ice storm will convince anyone that you need plenty of non-perishable food, a source of heat not dependent on electricity, and enough other things to live comfortably in complete isolation for a couple of weeks.

    After two ice storms in five years, my wife is as enthusiastic as I am about preparedness. :D
     
  11. Moondoggie

    Moondoggie Member

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    I'm sooo happy that my beloved and I are extremely like-minded. Attached at the hip would be a good description. It's comforting to know that I'll NEVER have to waste time convincing her to get out of dodge if TSHTF..we'll both just look at each other and simultaneously utter "Outta here!". She's very practical, highly organized, and pulls her own weight. Also a darned good shot with zero compunction about using force in an appropriate situation.

    One tack that you can try to justify your stockpile of nonperishible foodstuffs is to explain that it's just like money in the bank, as the price only goes up at the store.

    Next time there's an impending crisis in your area, take her to the store to witness the empty shelves and long lines firsthand.
     
  12. Standing Wolf

    Standing Wolf Member in memoriam

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    Some people have to learn some lessons the oft-cited "hard way." The adults in the crowd learn from others' mistakes.
     
  13. Barbara

    Barbara Member

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    If you make it a Big Deal, it becomes a Big Deal. I wouldn't say anything at all unless she asks and then I'd just answer as simply as possible. Don't say you're preparing for doomsday, just tell her you'd feel better with a few days extra whateever on hand.
     
  14. Stauble

    Stauble Member

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    well my significant other, when i find her, needs to accept the fact that i am an extremist(so they tell me anyways :rolleyes: )
    on the other hand i think its plenty reasonable to have food and water that would last you a week or 2maybe
    maybe she was just in a bad mood at the time, im sure Rita will bring her to her sences wen we see wat it will do to texas
    my house has always been stocked up with a few days worth of canned food since we got hit by Andrew
     
  15. Sam

    Sam Member

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    I feel for you.
    I would press on in a low key sort of way. If she makes too much of an issue about it, take he back to momma and ask for a refund.
    Ugly situation especially after you have 15 years invested in her.

    Good luck whatevery you do.

    Sam
     
  16. juggler

    juggler Member

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    "Explain to her that in a bad situation she either be an ally or a meal. Let her make her mind up on which she role she wants to play."

    I used that one already.....explained that if we did not have food for the animals they would BECOME food :evil: That got over like a lead parachute :rolleyes:


    'If you make it a Big Deal, it becomes a Big Deal. I wouldn't say anything at all unless she asks and then I'd just answer as simply as possible. Don't say you're preparing for doomsday, just tell her you'd feel better with a few days extra whatever on hand.'

    This is the road I am taking (THR?). Just gonna do it and have it there when it is needed.

    Basically I needed to vent, because it caught me so much off-guard. It bothers me that we are not on the same wavelength, as far as preparation is concerned, but there are many other things that we have in our relationship (when DID that expression start sounding so PC? :rolleyes: ) that still gives me hope.

    Bottom line is similar to what y'all have been advocating, and what I have always believed..........Mike said it best .......'Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. '

    I don't plan to fail. :cool:
     
  17. Sunray

    Sunray Member

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    "...she blind-sided me..."
    "Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts." Norm Petersen
     
  18. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim Member

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    Show her the movie, "A Boy and His Dog."

    Pilgrim
     
  19. robert garner

    robert garner Member

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    A boy and his dog !!!!

    ABAHD,isn't the best , unless ya just wanna scair the bedikins outa her!
    But consider this; The Mindset of a warrior/survivalist is far removed from
    a mother or homemaker....and you are forcing her to realize that the safe warm comfortable life you provide for her is come cataclysmic weather,
    war famine or Martian Invasion ephemeral!
    To most here common sense but to her worse than well ANYTHING she CARES to imagine after all if she did think like you You wouldnt have wanted her anyway. Do what you know to be prudent and if it becomes reality fergit the I told ya so
     
  20. Zundfolge

    Zundfolge Member

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    Yes. That is EXACTLY what you need to do. You agreed to "for better or for worse" didn't you? So you need to live up to that (whether she does or not).

    You're the man, so its your job to prepare for these things, and if she's not interested in helping, then you do it on your own without making a fuss about it.


    Believe me, when the S is headed for the F, y'all will see it coming and she'll all of the sudden be grateful she's living with some crazy "extremist" ... and if the S never hits the F then she'll probably not have noticed the bug out bags, water cans and extra rifles anyway.



    Also it sounds like you hit her kind of all-of-the-sudden with this "survivalist nonsense" ... give her time to digest the idea that the world isn't a clean/safe place. It may take a while, but if you keep harping on it then she'll fight you just for spite.

    On the surface it would seem that way, but "Always be prepared" and "protect the children" are both warrior/survivalist AND motherly mentalities.

    Some would argue that the warrior/survivalist mentality IS THE SAME THING as the mother/homemaker.
     
  21. 1911 guy

    1911 guy Member

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    Also remember

    Keep in mind that if and when the excrement impacts the oscillator that she will expect you to know what to do. So, like others have said, make your plans, keep it low key and wait for the appropriate time to produce the plan and supplies with a flourish and a smile. Women say they want us to be more "civilized" but also want us to be able to keep them safe and well fed when times get rather uncivilized. It's a basic difference between men and women. There are exceptions, of course. This board has many women who have the same outlook as you and I and there are men I know who would be right at home at a quilting bee.
     
  22. rwc

    rwc Member

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    Barbara's right. Keep it low key. Make your lists. Do a little at a time. Make it imperceptible. I'm stocking up slowly at the grocery and hardware store by just picking up one or two things each time.
     
  23. hso

    hso Moderator Staff Member

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    My wife grew up a self-reliant person for the most part. At dinner tonight we were discussing how you decide what to prepare for and I used the same concept for whitewater kayaking in the fall/winter/spring for preparing for a disaster. In kayaking if the sum of the water temp and air temp is 100 or less then reconsider the trip. For disaster preparedness you need to rank the potential for an event and the consequences of the event and add the numbers to get a criteria for how much effort to put into preparations. A probable event (I grew up with power being knocked out for 3 days at a time during winter) that has moderate consequences (we went cold and possibly would have frozen pipes) was well worth preparing for (wood already split stored for use in the heatalator fireplace, hand pump primed all winter long) so that we wouldn't freeze, go thursty, not be able to feed ourselves a hot meal, and the pipes would not rupture. A less probable event, but with more severe consequences might warrant an equal effort put into preparation. An impossible event even with life-threatening results (we can't be flooded here) didn't warrant any effort beyond evaluation. This is nothing more than what we do when we put the seat belt on getting in the car. It's very unlikely that we'll get into an accident, but eating the steering wheel is a catastrophic result. That's the approach that needs to be taken. Ask her to determine what the potential for a problem is and to discuss what she thought was needed to address the consequences of the problem. Remember, like teaching someone to shoot don't start out with a .454 scale problem to work on. Instead try to pick something that she has a ready grasp of. Work your way up from there.
     
  24. stevelyn

    stevelyn Member

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    I'd trade her in on a different model.......one that is capable of critical thought processes.
    I'm feel pretty fortunate. My GF grew up in a Yukon River village. Being self-sufficient and stocking up on non-perishables for long term is ingrained in both of us. We hoard supplies as a matter of practice.
     
  25. Barbara

    Barbara Member

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    I'd be right at home at a quilting bee!

    (it's one of the things I want to learn eventually.)
     
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