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When your wife says "No!"

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by hotbarrelmama, Apr 7, 2005.

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  1. hotbarrelmama

    hotbarrelmama Member

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    Hi, my name is Rachel and I'm new to this website. I have been married for 5 years and we have a beautiful, smart 4 year old daughter. Saying that, I also want to say I NEVER thought I would marry a gun advocate.

    My father was never into hunting or target shoting, but he was never against it. We just didn't have guns in the house, and they weren't in our discussions, as we were best friends. All I ever knew about guns was that they were harmless unless you pointed it at someone and the person holding it was the weapon, not the gun.

    So when my brand new husband and I came home from our honeymoon and he told me he had to move over his gun safe from his mother's house I said, "NO WAY!" There was going to be NO way that he was going to bring a GUN into our house! I mean what if something happend?? I was VERY afraid. After a long talk over a few days, he hauled it over and mostly against my will. Granted it was just a .410, .22, .243, all long guns, they were still guns.

    So there it was, we had guns in the house, this was new for me. It wasn't until over a year later when the issue of owning handguns was under discussion. I lost. In fact thinking back, I don't think it was much of a discussion, he just went out and bought it when he got his purchase permit.

    So, now we have it. We have long guns and handguns in the house. I don't know how to use them or even care to use them. In fact, I'd like to go back to the guy I married, not the guy that showed up in the house after the honeymoon! What am I going to do?? I have guns in the house and again I don't know how to use them. What if something happened and I need to use it? I mean, not to be conceded, but I'm not ugly by any means. So we are back at the question what do I do?

    After a long dicussion, in which I did a lot of kicking and screaming, my husband took me to the range for the very first time. As we walk in, I notice first: not the cleanest place, second: not ONE woman, third: EVERYONE is starring at me, fourth: OH MY! I am at a GUN range!!

    We paid our fee and he walks me over to a few sets of doors and into the range. As we stand there at the stall, my heart is racing and I'm scared to death. My husband shows me the gun and tells me to remember what he showed me at home about putting the magazine in and to watch my finger, etc. My finger does NOT start on the trigger. I stand there...scared to death of a paper target. About 4 minutes of me standing staring at the ferocious paper target, I moved my finger from the slide and put my finger on the trigger, exhale and shoot...the next thing I remember is being hit!

    OH NO I'm hit!! Then I hear laughing, it was only the shell casing...embrassed I put down the gun and I vowed never to touch it again, it's "too scary, and I can't, I can't do this! NO!" After a little loving, but firm "coaching" I picked up the gun again. This time, note to self, move over left a little more so a hot shell casing doesn't hit me. I shot again this time it only took a few minutes to shoot, next thing I know the magazine is gone! Hey, maybe next time I'll even hit the target! After 45 minutes and about 150 rounds later, I'm getting the hang of this.

    I finally starting thinking about the paper target. It was someone, someone trying to hurt me or my family. I was determined to hit that target and make that someone stop! It wasn't about holding or using a gun. It was about me! My family! An unknown circumstance. I know now how to use the gun, were it's kept, how to load it, clean it, and now I even have my carry permit.

    I carry. I carry to work, from work, shopping. My friends all know I'm a killer shot. But if it hadn't been for the loving way my husband brought up the subject, persued it, cheered me on when I did decide to go to the range and shoot, I would had done like many other wifes had/have done and said "NO!" What's been laid on my heart is that women, espeically wifes need to know that guns aren't the weapon, the person behind it is. Being ignorant about how to use a gun doesn't make guns go away. It makes it more dangerous for them and their families. So when your wifes so "NO!" don't yell, don't get upset, don't ignore, don't think it's just for you but lovingly tell her it's for her. Her safety and your kids, they need to know how to use a gun, especially if it's in the house.
     
  2. fjolnirsson

    fjolnirsson Member

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    Bravo!
    Good for you!
    Be sure to thank your husband from us.
    And welcome to THR!
     
  3. MacPelto

    MacPelto Member

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    Well! Good on him, good on you, and welcome to The High Road, Rachel.
    Stick around, you're almost guaranteed to learn some more, and you'll most likely teach somebody some things too.

    Mac
     
  4. 20cows

    20cows Member

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    How long did it take for the transition to go to completion? Surely, not in just one session. (That would just be too fantastic to contemplate!)
     
  5. Bear Gulch

    Bear Gulch Member

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    Welcome. I think we all fear that we haven't experienced before.
     
  6. Daemon688

    Daemon688 Member

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    We need more stories like this, another convert :D
     
  7. P95Carry

    P95Carry Moderator Emeritus

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    Rachel

    A mega, blisteringly huge welcome to THR!!! :)

    A story to warm the heart of this old shooter ... all that and you have a carry permit too - KUDOS to you. I'd like to think you are typical of quite a few ladies, who with loving help from their spouse have managed to overcome the ''evil gun'' syndrome and finish up in control, and some.

    My wife, bless her, got her CCW not too long ago - and is due a range trip very soon ... she is gutsy and sensible - something I have managed to encourage over time regarding guns ... such that I have now the utmost confidence in her.

    I dearly wish more ladies would ''join the fold'' - and lose that awful ''guns are bad'' thing - and integrate into the armed polite society. I again welcome you.

    Please stay - enjoy - and post a bit. :)
     
  8. DigMe

    DigMe Member

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    What an inspiring story! Too bad you're not friends with my wife!

    Just kidding..she's not against guns but was a little skeptical when we got married. Now she knows how to use them but she doesn't have a carry license or her own gun. At some point I'm going to buy her one though.

    brad cook
     
  9. psyopspec

    psyopspec Member

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    Wow, another convertion! See, fellow board members, it is possible. Thanks for sharing your story!
     
  10. hotbarrelmama

    hotbarrelmama Member

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    Time

    Well to answer a few questions. My first range experience was in Sept '01 and I liked shooting, but more than I like shooting, I like the respect I got for being there and the smile it gave my husband. He took me a few more times over a few months and then he bought a Carbine .9mm, with tactical sights. To be quite honest I was livid he spent that much a gun, and I felt there was no point to it. Well, that was before I shot it. We both joke that it's mine. Do to me LOVING it, and being a better shot than he is with it. Basically the Carbine was how I converted. I love shotting it and anything within 50 yards I hit dead on. Since we bought that in Jan '02, I've been into guns. And I feel I'm quite the 2 A woman.
     
  11. Kim

    Kim Member

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    Good for you. As a woman I am amazed how many women have a negative view of firearms. I hope many more realize what you have. Women have an innate ability to fight for their children but unfortunately many deprive themselve of a very simple and effective and sometimes life saving way to do so-------with a firearm. I get a very sick and angry feeling when I read in the newspapers of women being killed and their children being killed and the circumstances seem to me to point out that "if only she had a firearm" maybe she would have survived. Most of these murders are brutial. Now I had a different experience than you. My Dad gave me my first firearm (a handgun) at age 18 as I was going away to college. He made sure I knew how to use it and when. I think that was one of the most loving things he did for me.
    By the way my Dad is now gone but my 73 year old mom carries a handgun with her and I make sure she practices----just in case. I do that as a act of love for my Mom and I know my Dad would approve. ;)
     
  12. hotbarrelmama

    hotbarrelmama Member

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    Thank you Kim

    Thank you Kim,

    I'm so glad to see another woman, feel the same way I do. God bless your dad, maybe our dad's are hanging out. ;)

    I would like to get my mom to the range. She is a widow and I have followed her home and "checked" out her place when it's late. It would be nice to know that she could do something if someone were to attack her. So nice to hear about more women! :) Thank you!
     
  13. Shorts

    Shorts Member

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    Glad to hear you and your hubby enjoy shooting together. It always makes buying new toys a little less painful :D
     
  14. txgho1911

    txgho1911 Member

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    Snif snif,
    I'm so happy. Someone give me a case of tissue.
    Welcome home Racheal. My wife doesn't understand. You are so special.
     
  15. pax

    pax Member

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    Welcome to THR, Rachel. Stay long, post lots. :)

    pax,

    Kathy
     
  16. sm

    sm member

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    Rachel, Welcome to THR!

    I waiting for the post where Rachel buys a bigger gun safe for HER guns...and surprises her husband.

    "But honey - It was on sale" :D
     
  17. jsalcedo

    jsalcedo Member

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    Good for you. We need all the new friends we can get. :)




    The very first gift I gave my girlfriend (now wife of 15 years) was a handgun.

    She thought it a little strange as a first gift instead of flowers or jewelry but was pleased just the same.
     
  18. Myself

    Myself Member

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    Good story, thanks for shareing and welcome to THR.

    I've only gotten my wife out a few times, have to work on that. I started on the girls and have been somewhat succesfull. My son on the other hand is always after me to shoot.

    I told my wife and the girls the same thing. Better to know how and never need then to need and not know how.
     
  19. spacemanspiff

    spacemanspiff Senior Member

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    sweet mother mary and joseph! there is hope yet!


    so, who has more guns now? you or your husband? :D
     
  20. Sean85746

    Sean85746 Member

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    BULLY! BULLY FOR YOU! OUTSTANDING!

    My then future wife said to me..."I know you have guns, and I know you carry one, so if WE are going to have guns around OUR new house I want to know how to use them safely."

    She now has her own small arsenal, and a permit to carry.

    I don't worry about her, or our year-old daughter going about town without me. Momma bear has claws!
     
  21. Shorts

    Shorts Member

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    Will you talk to my husband? He keeps getting me jewelry :eek:
     
  22. sheepdip

    sheepdip Member

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    Welcome and congratulations.
    So glad you got the bug and there will be no turning back now.
    Your husband did good when you picked him.
    By the way, ugly people need guns too
     
  23. Parallax

    Parallax Member

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    Anyone else find this part amusing?
     
  24. pax

    pax Member

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    Shorts ~

    You're better off than I am, then.

    Mine keeps getting me houseplants, to replace the ones I kill on a depressingly regular basis.

    pax
     
  25. P95Carry

    P95Carry Moderator Emeritus

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    Only question then that remains Pax is - what the heck caliber do you use to kill these danged plants!?? :p :D
     
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