That being said, with modern developments in bullet design and +P rated rounds, 9mm is a much better defense caliber than it was 20 years ago. But so is the .45ACP for the same reasons cited.
I love .45 so lets get that out of the way.
To play devil's advocate a bit. There was absolutely a time when a bigger slower cartridge made more sense and was always better then the smaller cartridge especially given capacities really were not all that different between platforms and calibers.
Today with the advent of very good, scientifically designed ammunition both 9x19 and .45 have evolved into incredibly good rounds (for pistols, so basically they suck a whole let less then they sucked before but I digress) At any rate lets assume that 9x19 has been brought up to a level where it betters older .45s.
So given that the the .45 has some inherent drawbacks such as size, weight, capacity, range of platform sizes etc. does it not make sense from a purely emotionless, its a tool level of thought to take the 9mm since it now offers ballistic capability that is very good, provides a relatively massive ammo reserve for the same or less weight, tends to be more ergonomic to most and is easier to shoot?
Again the above is purely from an on paper, scientific, all I want is a single handgun and the ONLY reason I want it is as a weapon/defensive item.
Now all that being said I carried a HK45C yesterday with Speer 230 grain hollowpoint so.......there's that.
I also don't think there is a difference beyond statistical noise in modern defensive pistol calibers (9/40/45/10mm/.357SIG) whatever. I think they all have some minor advantages over each other and minor disadvantages over each other. At the end of the day in the real world I am not sure it matters 99% of the time beyond your having a weapon and having the basic skill to shoot and handle it effectively.
I don't really even think capacity in most cases is a huge advantage (it is an advantage) as I feel like in most cases you rarely have folks sustain an attack after being shot at (it happens I know but fairly rarely) and if you think about a large group of attackers how many rounds can you get off before being overwhelmed assuming said group of attackers don't haul ass when idjit number one takes a round or they realize rounds are incoming.
I think it all comes down to having an arm you understand the manual of arms of, understand how to shoot it, put the time in to shooting it and understanding that if you ever need to use it you have already failed life's lottery and it won't matter what caliber or what gun you have you will never feel like it is enough and you are rolling craps in an already crappy situation.
Hence my motto...........make friends, buy drinks and run away like a little girl if need be.