Yo Mama So Tactical

[BerettaNut92]

...yo little sister be MOLLY compatible.
...she don't wear army boots...'cause she like Oakley SI Assault Boots instead.
...she tactical reload rolls of toilet paper when they be 2/3 expended. (she leave a full roll on the toilet seat lid for emergency speed reloads only)

"Yeah we're all the same inside. From 9 to .45" --Martina-Henry McBride

 

[odysseus]

Hey - on tactical reloads of toilet paper... I have been looking for a good holster system for that.

 

[kal]

LMAO, I've never heard those before.

 

[Jim PHL]

...she wear a kevlar thong.

 

[grimjaw]

Yo Mama So Tactical . . .

. . . her clothing iron has an tac rail, w/light.

. . . her pistol-gripped, black, kevlar broom is sectional.

. . . and so on. Please one up me, these are potentially hilarious.

jmm

 

[Marko Kloos]

Yo mama so tactical...

...she make mashed potatoes and +peas.

...she don't drop the kids off at school, she do a tactical insertion.

...she don't pick the kids up from school, she do a tactical extraction.

..she carry the baby in a three-point sling.

 

[Aahzz]

- She wears a carbon fiber bra

 

[iamhistory]

.......her reading glasses are shatter proof and amber color for better page aquisition

 

[dolanp]

She gots a $500 red dot right in front of her $5K scope!

 

[The Rabbi]

-Drives a cammo jeep
-Spends nights reconning the living room
-Calls her butt her "personal six"

 

[cslinger]

I still think the funniest one was from way back.

Yo Mamma is so tactical she don't drink no Diet Pepsi, she drinks Heckler and Diet Koch.

Pretty sure that was one of your early ones Skunk, it really stuck with me.

Chris

 

[BryanP]

Yo momma so tactical ...

she uses Gun Scrubber as deodorant.

she drinks Colt 45GAP.

 

[BigSlick]

Yo mama so tactical she be havin' pistol grip ears

BigSlick

 

[Hardtarget]

...she does low crawl to the mail box...but not 'till twilight.
Mark.

 

[Mal H]

Yo momma so tactical ...

When she asks, "Does this Ghillie suit make me look fat?", you better answer "Yes!" 'cause that's the look she's going for.

 

[KriegHund]

Isnt it MOLLE?

 

[Standing Wolf]

...she splashes on Hoppe's No. 9 with a little C.L.P. for back-up before she goes out.

 

[Hardware]

...she cooks dinner in K pots.

 

[kal]

Yo momma so tactical, she put a M2 50cal, a thermal/night vision imaging device, and some fog lights on her vaccum during Operation Dust-Buster!

 

[Zach S]

...CA banned her.

 

[El Tejon]

. . . she be cooking up SUL food.

. . . her "little, black dress" is BDUs.

. . . she armbarred the butcher until she got free pork chops.

. . . she put a vertical foregrip on the broom.

. . . her kitchen knives are from Strider.

 

[Too Many Choices!?]

Yo momma so tactical...

..She uses a bayonnet INSTEAD of the CAN OPENER...

...On her,"Down" time she is always ,"Field Stripping", her appliances...

...I came over the other day and she was stuck to the wall, in full repel gear, with some "Combat Slippers" on with the ninja spikes on the bottom, while cleaning the ceiling fan...

 

[Travis McGee]

Her vacuum cleaner has quad picatinny rails for accessories.

 

[Third_Rail]

... her brownie pans have Tennifer finish.

... her pot holders are carbon fiber.

... she wields spatulas akimbo in a tactical stance when cooking.

... she holds the remote in "low ready" when not changing channels.

 

[Rupestris]

...Her feminine products are surplus field dressings.

...She puts Fox Labs pepper spray on her Taco Bell.

...She’s got a silencer on her blender.

...Her cook book has a recipe for C4.

...Her purse is made by Oakley and doubles as a Bug-Out-Bag.

...Her hair dryer has a bi-pod and a flash suppressor.

...She serves MRE’s for Christmas dinner.

...Her bra has trauma plates.

...When asked to "Slice the pie" she clears the house with her MP5.