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You know you're a mall ninja if....

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by FIVETWOSEVEN, Jan 12, 2010.

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  1. Toaster

    Toaster Member

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    Seagal was helping to promote a new line of "Seagal Tactical Gear"

    I can hardly wait for Fed Ex to deliver my new clip-on Tactical Ponytail!
     
  2. RP88

    RP88 Member

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    first time seeing the idiot's myspace. I almost cried from laughter and from anger.

    I'd also imagine you'd be a mall ninja if you think a sword (namely, a katana) has practical application in modern-day combat tactics.
     
  3. Boba Fett

    Boba Fett Member

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    That's a good one!
     
  4. FIVETWOSEVEN

    FIVETWOSEVEN Member

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    some of the kids in my class think that swords are somehow better than guns. one of them is definatly a mall ninja, can't hit crap but wants a dragunov, highly customized 1911 and a socom II. He also pretends to kill and disembowel people all the time.
     
  5. RP88

    RP88 Member

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    ^ does he also claim to be a "prodigy"?

    I went to high school with these two kids who thought they were highly trained martial artists; one said he was a 12-time Tae Kwon Do champion and ninjutsu practicioner, the other claimed to be a swordsman prodigy. They, of course, physically came nowhere close to resembling their claims.:banghead:
     
  6. NinjaFeint

    NinjaFeint Member

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    oops
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2010
  7. Erik M

    Erik M Member

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    When i worked as an operator (in the literal sense) at a local power companys call center i sat next to a mall ninja. His cubicle was covered in drawings of 'furrys' dressed in combat gear. he had alot of tatoos and claimed to have a room in his apartment that served as a dedicated armory for is authentic katana's, nunchakus, and firearms.
    Justa few months ago I found out that he lost his job when he was arrested for drive by shooting. . . .windows out of cars with a red ryder bb gun. He made the local news papers.
     
  8. FIVETWOSEVEN

    FIVETWOSEVEN Member

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    hahaha thats great
     
  9. shockwave

    shockwave Member

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    Watch this video. Takes a few years of almost daily practice to learn that, but the Dao (Chinese broadsword) is basically a long machete, with reinforcement over the chopping area and features a stabbing point. Si Jieh in the video is using a demonstration blade, but the working models are heavy, sharpened steel.

    As you can see, a skilled practitioner can bring the blade to any area around the body with speed, and because it is held close, disarming somebody who has one would be challenging. No match for a gun, but a very devastating weapon in the hands of a skilled user. The problem most kids have is that they rarely grasp the training requirements for weapons like this.
     
  10. turkeybuster

    turkeybuster Member

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    IF you wore camo and a sdearm to your wedding in case anybody objected .



    YOUR NAME IS DALE DRIBBLE ( king of the hill)
    YOU have a guard tower in your frontyard
     
  11. memphisjim

    memphisjim Member

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    dang it i got rick rolled on the high road!!!
     
  12. RS14

    RS14 Member

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    ... if your sword has a picatinny rail.
     
  13. Mandolin

    Mandolin Member

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    LOL! What would you put on though? a sight? laser? I've got it: put a bayonet on! Just don't poke your eye out
     
  14. RS14

    RS14 Member

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    I was thinking of an underbarrel grenade launcher, honestly. :eek:

    "An elegant weapon for a more civilized age."
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2010
  15. Isher

    Isher Member

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    Naaah -

    You got it all wrong.

    I have a Challenge.

    What does a Mall Ninja do when

    Faced with going to the ATM Machine and pulling out 20 bucks?

    Strategic and tactical entities include, but are not limited to:

    1.) Clothing, boots, gear.

    2.) Training in obscure Oriental Fighting Arts.

    3.) Weapons.

    4.) Backup operatives; training, organization and chain of command.

    5.) Pre-Op surveillance.

    6.) Ingress to said ATM

    7.) Egress from said ATM.

    8.) Actually spending the money.


    Now, there are no prizes for this exercise.

    All I want is the Best Plan

    For the exercise described above.

    isher
     
  16. Labyrinth666

    Labyrinth666 Member

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    You are annoying if.....

    You use the word "tacticool" more than once in a weeks time...
     
  17. Boba Fett

    Boba Fett Member

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    Actually, as frightfully terrible an idea as that is, I think they would sell like hotcakes...
     
  18. ClayInTX

    ClayInTX Member

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    You need to shoot 50 – 100 rounds a week to stay proficient.

    Your primary is a Glock...
    ...and your BUG is a Glock.

    All your shirts are Hawaiian.
    ...except those with epaulets.

    All your pants are cargo.

    You have Crimson Trace on all your guns,
    ...but won’t admit it in the forum.

    You profile all the persons around you...
    ...at a family reunion.
    (Note: This is permitted in the Appalachians.)

    * * * *

    One of the best ones yet:

    Quote SteveCase Post 123

    When you took your CCW class and the teacher stop to ask if your question was serious, and it was.
     
  19. Mp7

    Mp7 Member

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    If ýou put a bayonet and ACOG on a Machete.
     
  20. Jermz1987

    Jermz1987 Member

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    You might be a Redneck Mall Ninja if your lifted Chevy truck has hidden compartments, One for your Glock and one for your beer.
     
  21. Erik M

    Erik M Member

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    First, a radio check for backup, with all comms silent for spec ops insertion to site. You forgot setting up a temporary perimeter around the site, and having all weapons hot and prepped to deploy if perimeter integrity is compromised. Perhaps a molle capable ziplock baggy for the retrieved currency.
     
  22. nairb35

    nairb35 Member

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    geko 45

    I have never laughed so hard what a mall ninja! How could anyone not think he's a mall ninja. Too funny.:banghead:
     
  23. LeontheProfessional

    LeontheProfessional Member

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    Welcome aboard nairb35. Gecko45 is actually where the term mall ninja came from.
     
  24. Dravur

    Dravur Member

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    How about if you listen to a police scanner while wearing ninja garb and a mask?
     
  25. Erik M

    Erik M Member

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    If you carry a portable scanner on your belt to look offical, even though u are not affiliated with the local P.D. or E.M.T. services.
     
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