You know you're a mall ninja if....

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Seagal was helping to promote a new line of "Seagal Tactical Gear"

I can hardly wait for Fed Ex to deliver my new clip-on Tactical Ponytail!
 
Off his Myspace page http://www.myspace.com/tacticalsecurityenforcer

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first time seeing the idiot's myspace. I almost cried from laughter and from anger.

I'd also imagine you'd be a mall ninja if you think a sword (namely, a katana) has practical application in modern-day combat tactics.
 
Seagal was helping to promote a new line of "Seagal Tactical Gear"

I can hardly wait for Fed Ex to deliver my new clip-on Tactical Ponytail!

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That's a good one!
 
some of the kids in my class think that swords are somehow better than guns. one of them is definatly a mall ninja, can't hit crap but wants a dragunov, highly customized 1911 and a socom II. He also pretends to kill and disembowel people all the time.
 
^ does he also claim to be a "prodigy"?

I went to high school with these two kids who thought they were highly trained martial artists; one said he was a 12-time Tae Kwon Do champion and ninjutsu practicioner, the other claimed to be a swordsman prodigy. They, of course, physically came nowhere close to resembling their claims.:banghead:
 
When i worked as an operator (in the literal sense) at a local power companys call center i sat next to a mall ninja. His cubicle was covered in drawings of 'furrys' dressed in combat gear. he had alot of tatoos and claimed to have a room in his apartment that served as a dedicated armory for is authentic katana's, nunchakus, and firearms.
Justa few months ago I found out that he lost his job when he was arrested for drive by shooting. . . .windows out of cars with a red ryder bb gun. He made the local news papers.
 
some of the kids in my class think that swords are somehow better than guns

Watch this video. Takes a few years of almost daily practice to learn that, but the Dao (Chinese broadsword) is basically a long machete, with reinforcement over the chopping area and features a stabbing point. Si Jieh in the video is using a demonstration blade, but the working models are heavy, sharpened steel.

As you can see, a skilled practitioner can bring the blade to any area around the body with speed, and because it is held close, disarming somebody who has one would be challenging. No match for a gun, but a very devastating weapon in the hands of a skilled user. The problem most kids have is that they rarely grasp the training requirements for weapons like this.
 
IF you wore camo and a sdearm to your wedding in case anybody objected .



YOUR NAME IS DALE DRIBBLE ( king of the hill)
YOU have a guard tower in your frontyard
 
LOL! What would you put on though? a sight? laser? I've got it: put a bayonet on! Just don't poke your eye out

I was thinking of an underbarrel grenade launcher, honestly. :eek:

"An elegant weapon for a more civilized age."
 
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Naaah -

You got it all wrong.

I have a Challenge.

What does a Mall Ninja do when

Faced with going to the ATM Machine and pulling out 20 bucks?

Strategic and tactical entities include, but are not limited to:

1.) Clothing, boots, gear.

2.) Training in obscure Oriental Fighting Arts.

3.) Weapons.

4.) Backup operatives; training, organization and chain of command.

5.) Pre-Op surveillance.

6.) Ingress to said ATM

7.) Egress from said ATM.

8.) Actually spending the money.


Now, there are no prizes for this exercise.

All I want is the Best Plan

For the exercise described above.

isher
 
You need to shoot 50 – 100 rounds a week to stay proficient.

Your primary is a Glock...
...and your BUG is a Glock.

All your shirts are Hawaiian.
...except those with epaulets.

All your pants are cargo.

You have Crimson Trace on all your guns,
...but won’t admit it in the forum.

You profile all the persons around you...
...at a family reunion.
(Note: This is permitted in the Appalachians.)

* * * *

One of the best ones yet:

Quote SteveCase Post 123

When you took your CCW class and the teacher stop to ask if your question was serious, and it was.
 
Naaah -

6.) Ingress to said ATM

7.) Egress from said ATM.


isher
First, a radio check for backup, with all comms silent for spec ops insertion to site. You forgot setting up a temporary perimeter around the site, and having all weapons hot and prepped to deploy if perimeter integrity is compromised. Perhaps a molle capable ziplock baggy for the retrieved currency.
 
geko 45

I have never laughed so hard what a mall ninja! How could anyone not think he's a mall ninja. Too funny.:banghead:
 
actually, I dont think listening to a police scanner is mall ninja at all. Its just staying informed.... like listening/watching the weather channel.

How about if you listen to a police scanner while wearing ninja garb and a mask?
 
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