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Your Funny Gun Quotes

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by colorado_handgunner, Apr 3, 2009.

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  1. colorado_handgunner

    colorado_handgunner Member

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    All right, lets hear all your funny gun quotes and statements, the ones that are yours and the ones you have heard. :D Come on, lets laugh a little!
     
  2. PT1911

    PT1911 Member

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    signature says it all...
     
  3. SquirrelNuts

    SquirrelNuts Member

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    One of my favorites is "why do you carry a .45?" and the reply is "because they don't make a .46"
     
  4. armoredman

    armoredman Member

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    Best were when I was doing armored work for 8.5 years...
    "Is that thing loaded?"
    "You're not allowed to carry REAL guns, are you?"
    "Got any free samples?"
     
  5. Deus Machina

    Deus Machina Member

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    Don't know if he thought of it, but it's in the sig line of a member of another, unrelated forum.

    "Guns kill people, like spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat."
     
  6. Restorer

    Restorer Member

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    "...and it didn't kick as much as I thought it would." - my sister, after shooting a hole in my brother's beautiful hardwood floor with his Browning Citori 20 gauge. Long story.

    "I'm the only one in this room professional enough..."
     
  7. TAB

    TAB Member

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    Gun shows are like strip clubs.
    you get to see alot, touch a little, but nothing ever comes home with you.
     
  8. Kind of Blued

    Kind of Blued Member

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    "I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas."
     
  9. KevinAbbeyTech

    KevinAbbeyTech Member

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    lol...
    Never heard that one before.
     
  10. armoredman

    armoredman Member

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    Gecko45 will never die...
     
  11. Eric F

    Eric F Member

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    As a lock blows apart

    "sorry guys its a weatherby"
     
  12. TWeatherford

    TWeatherford Member

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    "Keep your booger hook off the bang switch until you want to destroy something."
     
  13. Dr. Tad Hussein Winslow

    Dr. Tad Hussein Winslow member

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    Naaaaah, of course not, this is a cap gun. Some people. :)
     
  14. Killermonkey21

    Killermonkey21 Member

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    Read the sig. :)
     
  15. 3pairs12

    3pairs12 Member

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    "I think it is the shoulder thing that goes up." As said by one of our favorite antis referring to a barrel shroud.
     
  16. Carl

    Carl Member

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    "If guns cause crime then all of mine are defective." -Ted Nugent
     
  17. Nugilum

    Nugilum Member

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    Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my guns.
     
  18. fireman 9731

    fireman 9731 Member

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    Last edited: Apr 3, 2009
  19. LightningCrash

    LightningCrash Member

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    How much ammunition is too much?
    No such thing, unless your house is on fire.
     
  20. ldyates

    ldyates Member

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    "No, no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad."

    - Blazing Saddles
     
  21. scndactive

    scndactive Member

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    Son, if I took a notch out of the stock for for every deer and hog I've shot with that rifle I'd be shootin' a barreled action.
     
  22. DC300a

    DC300a Member

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    I know this one is old but I actually had a chance to use it recently. A friend and I were dicussing his new Concealed Weapons Permit when his girlfriend's roommate piped up and asked why we carried pistols everywhere we went. I quickly answered, "Because a cop is too heavy and won't fit in my pocket."

    She didn't have a response for that.... :D
     
  23. Hawk

    Hawk Member

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    All from Mark Twain:


    Don't meddle with old unloaded firearms. They are the most deadly and unerring things that have ever been created by man. You don't have to take any pains at all with them; you don't have to have a rest, you don't have to have any sights on the gun, you don't have to take aim, even. No, you just pick out a relative and bang away, and you are sure to get him. A youth who can't hit a cathedral at thirty yards with a Gatling gun in three-quarters of an hour, can take up an old empty musket and bag his mother every time at a hundred. Think what Waterloo would have been if one of the armies had been boys armed with old rusty muskets supposed not to be loaded, and the other army had been composed of their female relations. The very thought of it makes me shudder.
    - Advice to Youth speech, 4/15/1882


    I was armed to the teeth with a pitiful little Smith & Wesson's seven-shooter, which carried a ball like a homopathic pill, and it took the whole seven to make a dose for an adult. But I thought it was grand. It appeared to me to be a dangerous weapon. It had only one fault--you could not hit anything with it. One of our 'conductors' practiced awhile on a cow with it, and as long as she stood still and behaved herself she was safe; but as soon as she went to moving about, and he got to shooting at other things, she came to grief.
    - Roughing It


    George Bemis . . . wore in his belt an old original "Allen" revolver, such as irreverent people called a "pepper-box." Simply drawing the trigger back, cocked and fired the pistol. As the trigger came back, the hammer would begin to rise and the barrel to turn over, and presently down would drop the hammer, and away would speed the ball. To aim along the turning barrel and hit the thing aimed at was a feat which was probably never done with an "Allen" in the world. But George's was a reliable weapon, nevertheless, because, as one of the stage-drivers afterward said, "If she didn't get what she went after, she would fetch something else." And so she did. She went after a deuce of spades nailed against a tree, once, and fetched a mule standing about thirty yards to the left of it. Bemis did not want the mule; but the owner came out with a double-barreled shotgun and persuaded him to buy it, anyhow. It was a cheerful weapon--the "Allen." Sometimes all its six barrels would go off at once, and then there was no safe place in all the region round about, but behind it.
    - Roughing It
     
  24. .cheese.

    .cheese. Member

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    I like that one.
     
  25. SomeDude

    SomeDude Member

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    Seen on a bumper sticker.."I carry a small gun to compensate for my huge pecker."
     
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