Problem with my wife...

[atk]

While I haven't read the whole thread, I'm surprised I haven't seen the following advice:



Why not lead her to understand why you want a gun? IIRC, you said that you want it for two reasons:

target shooting
protection


Well, why not start with:

Target Shooting: "Honey, let's watch TV. Oh! They olympics are on! Let's watch." turn to olympics, watch people shooting skeet. "That looks like fun. And I'm told it takes a *lot* of skill."


Make it subtle. Don't push hard. Lead her in the direction you want her to go, but make sure she's the one traveling in that direction.


Protection: "Honey, I was just watching the news. They said that someone was raped two towns over. And I always thought that was a safe place."

Bring up enough of these, on enough days (not all consecutive days!) and start talking about how you're worried about her: "Gee, there's been a lot of crimes like that committed lately. It makes me worry about you - I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt." See how she goes. Don't talk about getting a gun. Talk about her being able to defend herself. Get her into a class where she can begin to understand self defense.

Remember, people who are indoctrinated require time, combined with they're own ability to think, and someone to gently guide them down the path, so that they can figure out reality for themselves.


And then there are some people who will never be convinced.

 

[SteveS]

A decent counselor would do that, but not all counselors are decent.

Very true. I know plenty that I would never refer anyone to.

The problem with that is if the counselor does do those things and he wants to leave, it won't matter because the the damage will already have been done. She'll be convinced of her position even more, and she'll insist he just wants to find a different counselor because the current one agrees with her instead of him.

The point I was trying to make was to counter the assumption that all counselors are anti-gun and are just going to "cure" you of your fondness for guns. While there are some, I would say that most marriage counselors are going to not take sides in this type of issue. If they did, I would suspect they wouldn't have much repeat business. Your best bet, if you want counseling, is to not just pick a name from the yellow pages. See if anyone you know has ever been to marriage counseling or try to find one through your doctor. Let them know that you want someone that is unbiased and objective.

 

[svtruth]

Excellent article

My advice FWIW, is to introduce her to pax on this forum. She, pax, is rational, logical, and very persuasive.
Good luck.

 

[DRZinn]

I haven't read the whole thread, but enough to be pretty sure no-one else has said this yet:

BUY TWO.

 

[Darth Ruger]

The point I was trying to make was to counter the assumption that all counselors are anti-gun and are just going to "cure" you of your fondness for guns. While there are some, I would say that most marriage counselors are going to not take sides in this type of issue. If they did, I would suspect they wouldn't have much repeat business. Your best bet, if you want counseling, is to not just pick a name from the yellow pages. See if anyone you know has ever been to marriage counseling or try to find one through your doctor. Let them know that you want someone that is unbiased and objective.

Good point, but that brings up another question. Doesn't the counselor need to be educated about guns in order to deal with this problem? How can a counselor be effective at helping them deal with this issue if the counselor doesn't know anything about the issue that is causing the strife in the marriage?

I'm not saying this must be a prerequisite, I'm just asking because I don't know. My wife doesn't have a problem with my guns.

 

[balletto]

An update...

Had another discussion w/ the wife this past weekend, it went a bit better, giving me new hope.

I think the idea has been planted in her head that I can logically justify owning firearms. I think that she's made the mental breakthrough that will eventually get her past her emotional reaction to the whole topic.

Thanks again for everyone's opinions.

 

[Darth Ruger]

That sounds hopeful. But don't get over-eager and start pushing too hard, too fast, or you'll risk closing her up again. Take it slow and don't come across as being pushy. Give her time to get comfortable with the idea and start to accept it. I'm not saying you should do absolutely nothing until she says it's okay, just don't try to push her too fast. If you're patient and not pushy about it, she'll be more receptive to the idea.

 

[deadly50bmg]

3. stating that having a piece of metal in the house that fired a bullet was "not who she wanted to be", despite my protests that she never had to touch the thing, much less learn how to use it


Thanks!

You know, they make an ultralight AR-15 now that is all carbon fiber...even the barrel.

Shoot that back at her..Haha