Like a friggin' train wreck..
So my shooting pardner at the time up and wins a gun - again. "Oh goody - another one to bring home...wife will be so tickled..."
Pard is also my Doctor...
He was right partial to a Ranger Win 1300 he just used for everything. I mean he had nice guns, I mean REALLY nice. Just liked totin' a pump and used it for everything...including running 200 straight in a Skeet/ trap event with it. Which brings us back to the gun he won...using said 1300...
Mossberg 835 Ulti-Mag.
"Damn Russ, my second grandson can do camo better than this..."
"I didn't think that kid had been born yet?"
"That is what I am talking about, he ain't - I want a wood stocked one..."
So Pard and I go to the Gun Store Getting place, and pick-up the Wood Stocked 835.
Russ says " well you won shells too..."
I just had to ask what he was gonna do with this thing...never said I was smart now did I?
"Well... it is like this. Gotta new Duck place, and all the other Doctors are fussing about the Non- Toxic shot..."
" The 1300 handles steel and that Bismuth just fine...." - "I was there when we patterened it..." I interrupted...
"Yeah yeah I know. Thing is, gots grandkids coming up, gave 'em kids condoms to use - free from the clinic and everything- still gotta another one gonna make my DIL curse ,scream and yell - squirt out another one.
Figure I need to consider figuring out what kid gets what down the road."
"We could sell 'em an open a whorehouse down in Mexico " I said
"Don't tempt me..." he replied.
"Wait the guns or the kids and grandkids..." he asked.
"We keep the guns stupid"
" I likes the way you think" - he replied.
"Okay, truth is - my pards at the clinic, and these other Quacks can't shoot for...
"Yeah I know..." I interupted again...
Well they done up and got themselves new Automatic Guns to run bigger shells. I want to show 'em up with a Pump Gun...and let my 1300 have a breather".
Russ, quits laughing at us two, does a "sniff...sniff" - "that is just so beautiful and poetic..."
"Damn rug rats, Momma thinking we need to have something besides two seaters [both drove two seat sports cars], way I figure it done raised them kids, put up with all that racket, and If I am going to have to pay for all these folks eating at a Restuarant - I figure the least they can do is drive their own darn cars , with diapers, yelling smelly kids throwing up...
Besides, I want a new motorcyle and Momma wants to go to Florida....Told her she had a choice, new sports car and FL or Bigger car and NO FL.
"Damn, make a feller feel a bit self concious about un-zipping his fly..."
Russ had taken the 3.5" Buckshot, slugs, and other offerings onto the counter.
"Ya know, just because it says 3.5" don't mean you gotta use 'em. I mean it'll work like a kinda sorta like a Forcing cone being lengthened and all...with the shorter ones..."
I had taken the bbl back off and was looking thru it...Started playing with the chokes...
I meandered to the back with the gun, to clean it a bit, I figured we'd go shoot this thing on the way home, I did have the Pard's Sports Car Keys - I had snagged these earlier when we had stopped for something and had been driving...
Russ stuck his head in..."oh there you are...figured as much...you get bored, shoot that model 29 and see what you think..."
Pard was looking at Some Filson stuff and I was taking apart his gun and shooting the 29 in back. Russ figures if he hears me shooting, I cannot be getting into too much trouble...
Oh, it got quiet in the back, Russ came to see why it was quiet, you know if a kid is quiet they are into something?.
I was making notes and taking measurments with the Stan Baker bore diameter tool. Same tool Russ took from my hands as we left, third time he'd done that, I had my notes though...
'You get to shoot the Roman candles first" I said
"Why me?"
"Cause it is your gun and besides I had to drive..."
"Yeah but it my Sports car"
"That is why I let you go in and pay for the gas, and buy the sodas and Pork Rinds..."
"Oh...I knew you'd make sense out of this somehow Steve".
KABOOM...THUD!
KABBOM...THUD!
Kaboom...Thud!
Well I had to shoot one 2 3/4" slug from his old Ranger 1300 to compare to the two 3.5" out of the Mossy he'd shot - and see the difference in holes in the car door from a wrecking yard we had at the private range. I was making notes...I do stuff like this.
Hands me the 835, I know that look of his. I loaded up the mag with a variety of 2 3/4" slugs.
"Wimp" ( not really what he said - but this is a family board...)
"No, I am testing, need a baseline, from what is known from the Ranger, to note a difference on the Mossy".
"I hate it when you sound like you know what you are doing...".
So in quick succession from sitting I shoot 5...just as I had figured, the Win 2 3/4" slug liked this bbl best and the Feds second...
He was grinning...
"Only 3 shells left in that 5 pack...give me them 3 and two 3.5" Roman Candles...you gonna do something- do it right...".
I was standing, had me 5 paint buckets, and went as fast as I could shuck...
WE didn't have to say nothing, we could read each other pretty well. We communicated without speaking...
'Hey got your new gun...mind if I shoot it..." One of our buddies showed up.
He shot one Steel shot load...handed the gun back...alternating between rubbing his cheek and shoulder
"Like a friggin' train wreck!"
Doc took his new gun to the new Duck Getting Place. He said he mostly backed up others missed shots...Said he used the 3.5" shells and had to lead 'em the length of two train cars at times...
"If'n the idiots would learn to shoot closer, I wouldn't have to shoot 'em so far out and lead 'em like trains, and set off train wrecks to fell 'em".
Russ and I took the edge off the forcing cone and lengthed it a bit. When Doc finally figured out I had stolen his gun from his clinic office - well it was just sitting there when I went in to steal jelly beans....he came to my place and got it.
He went to the Duck Getting place..."Whoa Nellie! Same loads, but a world of difference...".
That is when I handed him a list of all the loads ( pellet and slugs) I had patterned and played with after doing the tweaks to the bbl.
"Where'd you get all the various ammo?"
"I gotta key to your house, and the know the alarm codes and combo to the walk in vault. I did take out the trash so you ain't gotta do that tonight tho".
Took him four days to figure out I had his Citori and had borrowed a case of 28 ga.
That was when the Brown truck showed up at the clinic and all that ammo showed up , and his nurse, once again had to sign for it all...
Told him not to take his bike to work that day...
Had to call me with my truck...to get it home...
Real hard to eat a homecook meal when Doc's wife ( great lady) quips looking at the 3.5" shells sitting on the shelf with the others on display.." Honey, looks like them shells got a dose of Viagra...
Oh the homecooked meal? Venison. Like I said, Pattern board don't lie. Winchester 2 3/4" 1oz rifled slug, "walking shot" took a 4 point at 65 steps. Meaning 65 yards.
"Know'd he was there. Been seeing him down at the Duck Getting Place. Just waited, got him between two trees...boy did that piss off my pards and other Quacks, feathers and fur all in one morning..."
