Suggestions wanted for my first revolver!

I am thinking of getting a Smith and Wesson revolver for my first handgun. I like the versatility of the .38/.357 lineup in that you can shoot .38, .38+p, and even .357 Magnum loads all through the same gun (target practice with the .38 and then later put .38+p or .357 in it for personal defense).

I intend to keep the gun under my car seat for personal defense and for taking it the range for target practice.

For a guy, I have very small hands, wrists and arms (think of a woman's small hands, wrists and arms and you are about right).

Still, the J frames (small) seem kind of too small. And the K and L frames (medium) seem kind of too big to me. Doesn't somebody manufacture a revolver frame in between these two extremes?

Maybe I should split the difference and go with one of the heavier J frames or a lighter K or L frame. I know shooting a .357 cartridge has a vicious recoil to it. If I do this, what will the differences be in kick if both guns have a 3" barrel? Will there be that much difference or will they be about the same? Should I just go ahead and bite the bullet (no pun intended) and get a heavier K or L frame in the hopes that it's heavier frame weight will dampen the recoil for me? Or should I go with the J frame since it might be closer to my hand and wrist size and fit my hands better for better overall control? Should I get a 2", 3" or 4" barrel?

Any and all suggestions welcome.

Great ideas so far. Thanks. The Ruger SP 101 is now in the running. I will have to go look at one.

What is the difference between the Ruger Security Six and the Ruger Police Service Six? Or are they the same guns? How much are these currently going for, any ideas?

Thanks for the pictures of that nice Police Service Six. I did some research and checked the dimensions on that gun. It seems like it was just made for my hand (smaller than the Smith K or L's but bigger than the J's). Perfect! That's just what I had in mind. Your pictures appears to be a 3" barrel blued model but every picture I've seen so far is of a 4" stainless steel model. For my application, a 3" barrel would be ideal if I could find it in stainless steel. Is there even such a thing? If not, I would have to settle on a 4" model.

What are some other makes and models in a police service revolvers that I can check and compare the dimensions on? The market seems to be chock full of these police turn-ins since every cop in the land foolishly traded in these fine He-Man revolvers for a small black plastic toy gun several years ago.