funniest gun stories/quotes

My mother shot a hole in the floor one time.
She rolled the cylinder around to put an empty chamber under the hammer then checked to see if she had the strength to pull the trigger.

ME: Yes, sir, the bullet still has to go the entire 100 yards. The scope merely makes the target look like it's only 25 yards away. It does not have the ability to warp the space-time continuum.

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Cosmoline said:

A friend of mine who's a SEAL says they have a scope that does make the target come closer, but he can't talk about it because it's classified n stuff

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That would be the gun where you squeeze the trigger now and it shoots your enemy yesterday.

Hey, I remember Jack First's out in Scatter! Brought back some memories. Remember looking at an HK 91 back in the day thinking $600 was a bit rich for the blood of a poor young'un on an airman's paycheck

I heard a clerk in a gun store tell a customer that one of those jagged breaching muzzles on a 12 gauge was there to eliminate the recoil. Wish I could have witnessed the first shot!

These are classic. Haha, yes the bullet still has to go the full 100 yards!

Powerglide said:

My Grandma asked me once if I could teach her to shoot a double barrel automatic.I said of course if you can get me one. That would be a collector deluxe.

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Not a double-barrel automatic, but I do have a double automatic.

(then) wife's friend: "So why do you carry a gun? Compensating for something?"
Me: "If I were compensating for anything, I wouldn't carry a gun with a 4" barrel..."

How about a 1879 Gardner?

I've met several people that refer to the bullets they shoot out of their 10/22 to be 1022's. Some of them are hunters, not just somebody that once shot a buddy's ruger.

Double Post

1.)Shop owner: "Its got a Glock trigger and springs in it".

Customer: "Really ? WOW"

The shop owner was showing the customer a Kimber Royal 1911, and It looked like the customer was buying the line of BS.


2.)Another favorite I witnessed-

Customer: " I am telling you people what the problem is.....it is this American pistol shooting this crappy European ammo.....that's the problem."

The customer was holding his Springfield XD service model in 9mm, and referring to remington 115gr Ball.



3.) Me: "do you mind if I look through your USED Glock parts bin?"

Shop owner: "Nah, go ahead".

Me: "How much for these three parts?"

Shop Owner: " I don't know, I will have to call Glock and find out."

Me: "Don't worry about it".

He was actually going to charge me the new price for used parts........


4.) Gun Shop Worker: "No guns are allowed in this store, Sir".


5.) Friend: "I just bought this 45 S&W pistol and it jams every round."

Me: "did you bring it?"

Friend: "yeah , its in the truck."

Me: "Let's go look at it."

Friend: "Can you fix it? Here is the 45 ammo that it jams with, they gave it to me at the gun shop."

Me: " yeah, I can fix it. Super easy fix."

Friend: "Really? What's going on with it?"


I gave my friend a box of .40 caliber ammo for his .40 S&W High Point pistol.

Me: "There yah go, its fixed."

Double barreled automatic? He may have been talking about the AO-63 5.45mm.




It's real.



That Gardner is a hand-cranked gun. Doesn't count. Also has to be handheld.

This is actually really funny to me. I can't stop laughing. It's called Funny Gunny.

"bangbangbang...bbbbangbbangbang..."

"...well hello there, sweet <edit-Larry> pea! MOVE! GET UP THERE! MOVE!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbrnaouI21w