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A politician joke

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Monkeyleg

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Forgive me if this is old; I just saw it for the first time today:

The Politician

While walking down the street one day a politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St.Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the politician.

"Well, I'd like to but my orders from higher are that you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the politician.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all
his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, he's back on the elevator.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The politician reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to him and grins menacingly.

"I don't understand," stammers the politician. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
 
Good one!

That's a beauty! I haven't seen it before. I did hear one sortta similar where the guy studies hell and sees rolling beautiful hills and green lawns and peaceful lakes with birds singing and flowers blooming. Heaven doesn't appear to be as nice to him so he choosed hell. He gets back and there is the drudge scene with only Bill Gates dressed in rags standing there looking forlorn. The guy asks Satan where all the beautiful scenery went, Satan says, [you guessed it] "That was the screen saver."

Then there's the one about the word "politics." Have you ever broken the word "politics" down and really studied it? No? Well, "poly" means many and "ticks" are blood-sucking parasites.

Seems appropriate.
 
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