sm
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The older I get the more I realize I never completed my juvenile delinquent stage of development.
I have been making the time to correct that oversight of mine.
So when a kid challenged me to a shooting contest – I accepted the challenge. The deal was he and his mom would take me on, two against one.
I did my best James Dean Lean and calmly stated that ain’t fair moOOm!
I have not lost my touch being a wittle boy, and so the dawg and I partnered against the Mom and son. Only cost me a couple of peppermints to persuade the dawg to be my partner. Bribery is a good skill to know…
Red Ryder BB guns, for some reason I was not allowed to use a shotgun. My theory is a BB is a BB, instead of one at a time for all them shots, just fire once and be done with it…
My own partner sided with the mom and boy. Had to entice back with peppermint- I could tell this was going to be a long hot humid day here in the South, and longer because I kept getting out voted. My partner the dawg kept siding with my opponents.
Not to mention the Safe Gremlin had made the sights smaller on my Red Ryder since the last time I shot it.
“But you said you learned to shoot without sights …and you taught mom to shoot Shotguns with a BB gun with no sights”
I was waiting for that from that kid. I pulled a W.C. Fields “here is a quarter kid, go play out in the street”.
I lost a quarter and still had to shoot my Gremlin altered Red Ryder.
Fine, I have been in tougher spots and under pressure. I know that shooting is 90% mental and 10% physical. I know it ain’t cheating if it works – called ingenuity .
Time to be ingenious
I had brought 4 of those miniature funnels like one uses to fill small decorative oil lamps. These work great for little hands to fill a Red Ryder port with BBs.
So I started filling my Red Ryder using one and …
“Cool, I want one” said the kid”
“Me too…I never thought of using one of those” said the mom.
“Woof, Woof” – yeah my partner piped up as well. I was counting on this for later. *grin*.
Seems *someone* had listened to some tips about using the Mental game against opponents. Just how come my ping pong balls were pink, you don’t understand, eye hurting neon bright pink.
Noticed them targets at “the same distance” required more steps to get to mine than theirs. They said to take 10 steps, I took ten steps. The boy took 10 steps. Yeah the first sets of targets were set at “Ten steps”.
My partner was not even considered for stepping off distances, granted off chasing a squirrel at the time…
I went 9/10 on the pink ping pong balls. Seems my partner decided to get between my legs while I was shooting, standing, and rise up. My Fruit of the Looms did not need adjusting to the best of my knowledge, my partner thought otherwise.
I better make this known; I was partnered up with a lady dawg…
Next up was shooting “soup cans” and having to knock them off. Now granted my eyes are not as they once were. I have stayed at a Holiday Inn and been grocery shopping.
The mom and boy had “soup cans”, when did they start making Vienna Sausage Soup?
My grocery store does not carry it; still my targets were Vienna Sausage Soup. My eyes could have sworn my cans were smaller.
“Soup cans are soup cans” I was informed.
The moms 5 cans fell off no problem. My fifth one would not fall. I had added Ballistol to my BBs when loading (and them not looking) and added a few drops down the muzzle to my bore.
The boy was taking his time and, I felt it a good time to give my partner his funnel.
“Crunch….crunch….crunch”
“Mom, the dawg is messing me up with all that chewing”
Seems – again- someone else remembered lessons on “ingenuity”.
Mom tells my partner there is a stick of Beef Jerky in my back jeans pocket and peppermint in my front shirt pocket.
Thank goodness my partner was a girl; she got real personal about my backside, then came around and stuck her nose in my shirt pocket. Then got real darn affectionate and full tongue neck, facial, glasses…”wet kisses”.
Needless to say my sitting position went out the window. I can shoot thru raindrops…still ain’t figured how to shoot thru “wet kisses”.
Took soap and water, and a cloth it did to see out of my glasses again, and somehow the boy had knocked down 6/5 of his soup cans.
"New Math" - said the mom.
Since I was up, had to check out my Vienna Sausage soup can. I had hit the darn thing, seems not only was mine still containing the “soup” had a nail behind it too. Humm…
Mom and son had no explanation how that happened…
So I gave it my best shot, cannot blame my partner for not holding up her share of shooting. I was bested, plain and simple. It happens to us all, and all one can do is be gracious in defeat.
I presented the winnings - that carton of BBs and 2 boxes of .22 lr shells, with sincere congratulations.
I also gave my lady partner two Slim Jims as I left, way I figure it the dog poots should have already started by now.
*grin*
Steve
I have been making the time to correct that oversight of mine.
So when a kid challenged me to a shooting contest – I accepted the challenge. The deal was he and his mom would take me on, two against one.
I did my best James Dean Lean and calmly stated that ain’t fair moOOm!
I have not lost my touch being a wittle boy, and so the dawg and I partnered against the Mom and son. Only cost me a couple of peppermints to persuade the dawg to be my partner. Bribery is a good skill to know…
Red Ryder BB guns, for some reason I was not allowed to use a shotgun. My theory is a BB is a BB, instead of one at a time for all them shots, just fire once and be done with it…
My own partner sided with the mom and boy. Had to entice back with peppermint- I could tell this was going to be a long hot humid day here in the South, and longer because I kept getting out voted. My partner the dawg kept siding with my opponents.
Not to mention the Safe Gremlin had made the sights smaller on my Red Ryder since the last time I shot it.
“But you said you learned to shoot without sights …and you taught mom to shoot Shotguns with a BB gun with no sights”
I was waiting for that from that kid. I pulled a W.C. Fields “here is a quarter kid, go play out in the street”.
I lost a quarter and still had to shoot my Gremlin altered Red Ryder.
Fine, I have been in tougher spots and under pressure. I know that shooting is 90% mental and 10% physical. I know it ain’t cheating if it works – called ingenuity .
Time to be ingenious
I had brought 4 of those miniature funnels like one uses to fill small decorative oil lamps. These work great for little hands to fill a Red Ryder port with BBs.
So I started filling my Red Ryder using one and …
“Cool, I want one” said the kid”
“Me too…I never thought of using one of those” said the mom.
“Woof, Woof” – yeah my partner piped up as well. I was counting on this for later. *grin*.
Seems *someone* had listened to some tips about using the Mental game against opponents. Just how come my ping pong balls were pink, you don’t understand, eye hurting neon bright pink.
Noticed them targets at “the same distance” required more steps to get to mine than theirs. They said to take 10 steps, I took ten steps. The boy took 10 steps. Yeah the first sets of targets were set at “Ten steps”.
My partner was not even considered for stepping off distances, granted off chasing a squirrel at the time…
I went 9/10 on the pink ping pong balls. Seems my partner decided to get between my legs while I was shooting, standing, and rise up. My Fruit of the Looms did not need adjusting to the best of my knowledge, my partner thought otherwise.
I better make this known; I was partnered up with a lady dawg…
Next up was shooting “soup cans” and having to knock them off. Now granted my eyes are not as they once were. I have stayed at a Holiday Inn and been grocery shopping.
The mom and boy had “soup cans”, when did they start making Vienna Sausage Soup?
My grocery store does not carry it; still my targets were Vienna Sausage Soup. My eyes could have sworn my cans were smaller.
“Soup cans are soup cans” I was informed.
The moms 5 cans fell off no problem. My fifth one would not fall. I had added Ballistol to my BBs when loading (and them not looking) and added a few drops down the muzzle to my bore.
The boy was taking his time and, I felt it a good time to give my partner his funnel.
“Crunch….crunch….crunch”
“Mom, the dawg is messing me up with all that chewing”
Seems – again- someone else remembered lessons on “ingenuity”.
Mom tells my partner there is a stick of Beef Jerky in my back jeans pocket and peppermint in my front shirt pocket.
Thank goodness my partner was a girl; she got real personal about my backside, then came around and stuck her nose in my shirt pocket. Then got real darn affectionate and full tongue neck, facial, glasses…”wet kisses”.
Needless to say my sitting position went out the window. I can shoot thru raindrops…still ain’t figured how to shoot thru “wet kisses”.
Took soap and water, and a cloth it did to see out of my glasses again, and somehow the boy had knocked down 6/5 of his soup cans.
"New Math" - said the mom.
Since I was up, had to check out my Vienna Sausage soup can. I had hit the darn thing, seems not only was mine still containing the “soup” had a nail behind it too. Humm…
Mom and son had no explanation how that happened…
So I gave it my best shot, cannot blame my partner for not holding up her share of shooting. I was bested, plain and simple. It happens to us all, and all one can do is be gracious in defeat.
I presented the winnings - that carton of BBs and 2 boxes of .22 lr shells, with sincere congratulations.
I also gave my lady partner two Slim Jims as I left, way I figure it the dog poots should have already started by now.
*grin*
Steve
