English Composition Paper

[50caliber123]

I wrote this paper for a college class. Tell me what you guys think. WARNING: the paper cannot go into complete detail, due to limits on length.




Summary Paper
Cleaning firearms is very important. Rifles such as the Yugoslavian M59/66 sks is a vital part of owning firearms and safe recreational shooting. Cleaning the weapon helps maintain its looks like as if it was made yesterday. Without proper cleaning, the rifle can get full of gunk and powder, which will eventually lead to parts failure and finish wear. A word of warning: the terms receiver, barreled action, and action will all be used to describe the same main portion of the rifle. When you disassemble and clean correctly, you will be able to keep a nice, beautifully fit and finished rifle.
The first step to proper cleaning is a complete and thorough safety check. With safety in the on position, that would be the lever next to the trigger guard in the up most position, slowly pull back on the bolt. Keep pulling the bolt back until the magazine follower clears the bolt. When the fixed magazine is empty, the magazine follower will protrude, preventing the bolt from slamming forward, into the receiver. If the magazine is empty, proceed to pull on the bolt with your right hand, back past the magazine follower, and closer to your body. With your left hand, push down on the magazine follower, and slowly let the bolt come forward. When the bolt has cleared the magazine follower, remove your left hand and let the bolt slam into the receiver.
It is now safe to begin disassembly procedure. On the underside of the gun, in front of the trigger guard, is the magazine release. Pull back on the release, and the magazine dustcover and follower will spring out. This is normal. Next the bolt assembly needs to be removed from the action. The receiver cover can be removed only with the receiver cover takedown latch. It is located on the right side of the rifle, jus above the trigger guard. Move the receiver cover latch counter clockwise until it disengages. You will know when it does by the noticeable click. The cover is now free to slide off. Gently remove and set aside. The recoil spring assembly can be removed, as well as the two-piece bolt assembly. Set all pieces off to the side for later cleaning.
The trigger guard assembly can be removed by facing the rifle upside down. Take a screw driver and insert it into the little square-shaped button behind the trigger guard and push in with a slow, steady force. This should disengage the trigger guard, set aside for later cleaning. Now is the best time to remove the fixed bayonet. Extend the bayonet from the folded position by pulling back on the catch mechanism and push the bayonet forward, until it locks into place. Once locked into place, take a flat-head screwdriver, and turn counterclockwise until the screw is loose. Be careful to keep your left hand on the bayonet firmly, as soon as the screw is removed, the spring-loaded bayonet fill fly off from the released compression of the spring if one is not careful. Set off to the side for later cleaning.
Now, the barreled action must be removed from the stock. Take the barrel guard in your right hand, hold the stock in your left, and pivot the barreled action out of the stock. Set the barreled action aside for later cleaning.. The Yugoslavian M59/66 is disassembled as far as routine cleaning should go. Now carefully take a rag and a can of gun oil, preferably Hoppe’s No. 9 formula. With a light amount of oil, begin to rub down the wood with the rag. Don’t use too much oil, or you will have to soak it up with another rag or paper towel. Wipe up any excess oil, until the wood is clean. This helps to maintain the wood, and keep it from drying out.
The barreled action should be cleaned from the inside out. First take a steel or brass cleaning rod, and place a patch soaked in gun bore cleaner, not to be confused with gun oil, on the end piece of the rod. The barrel should be cleaned from breach to barrel whenever possible, to help protect the crown on the end of the barrel. After a patch soaked in bore cleaner has been run through, a dry patch should be run through the barrel, from the same direction. Keep running dry patches through the barrel until the patches come back clean, and the barrel has a nice mirror-finish on the inside. Coat down the outside of the barreled action with a light amount of gun oil, and clean off, until there is a clean finish to the outside of the rifle. Now, clean the parts that were previously disassembled and set aside.
The Yugoslavian M59/66 is now ready to be reassembled. To avoid fingerprints marring the finish, it is advised to use a set of cheap gloves for reassembly. First, carefully set the barreled action back into the stock. Now, reattach the bayonet. This requires bracing the sharp point of the bayonet against the floor, and aligning it with the hole for the screw to be screwed back into place. Lock the bayonet back into the folded position. To reattach the magazine, keep it in the open position, and push it into the receiver until it is firmly in place. Keep it open for now.
Now its time to place the trigger guard assembly back into the action. Move the front end in first, along the trigger guard guides until it locks and snap the trigger guard into place. Place the two-piece bolt assembly together and push it until it is fully closed on the receiver, opposite the way it came off. Now place the recoil spring assembly into the bolt. After the recoil spring assembly is in the bolt all the way, push the receiver cover over to the point where the it lines up with takedown latch. Push the latch in and turn clockwise. Pull the magazine up until it snaps into place. The rifle is now fully cleaned and reassembled.
These steps are all critical and should be followed in this general order. It is important that everyone who owns this type of rifle knows these steps, how to follow them, and does so with great care. If these steps are followed correctly, you will be able to pass this rifle down to your grandkids and further, as simple maintenance will keep firearms like this functioning and beautiful for a long time.


I know there are more steps, but at a double-spaced size 12 font, I am using all the paper allowed. Proffessor set requirement of 2-3 pages. What do you guys think of this for showing my pro-gun attitude, without diving into politics? The Proffessor syggested cleaning a rifle, but I know no one else in class would write a paper like this. Comments?

 

[ZenMasterJG]

Rifles such as the Yugoslavian M59/66 sks is a vital part of owning firearms and safe recreational shooting.

Not a sentance. "is" is singular, "are" is plural. Still doesnt really make sense.
Try combining the first two sentances to avoid being repetative.

rifle can get full of gunk and powder

Avoid gunk. "lead and powder residue" might be better.

A word of warning: the terms receiver, barreled action, and action will all be used to describe the same main portion of the rifle.

Describe what is being referred to by these terms. Never assume the reader knows about what you're talking about.

With safety in the on position, that would be the lever next to the trigger guard in the up most position, slowly pull back on the bolt

On your rifle, perhaps. But not all. Explicitly say you're using an SKS as an example if that is, in fact, the example you're using.

receiver cover takedown latch. It is located on the right side of the rifle, jus above the trigger guard.

Avoid starting a sentance with "It." Try "receiver cover takedown latch, which is located on the right side of the rifle just above the trigger guard.
Also, jus=just.

I'm not gonna do your whole paper, you're in college now, proofreading takes 5 minutes. Professors really don't like seeing gramatical/spelling errors you should have learned to fix in highschool (at the latest.)

Pick up a copy of Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style" and make it your friend while proofreading. A spellcheck and dictionary helps too.

Overall not bad. Content always comes before polish when writing, and the content is more or less there, but don't forget the polish.

 

[50caliber123]

mistakes I missed

Thankyou for pointing out my mistakes, Zen Master. I have corrected the paper. It reads so much better now. here is the modified paper:


Summary Paper
Cleaning firearms is very important. Cleaning a rifle, such as the Yugoslavian M59/66 sks, is a vital part of owning firearms and safe recreational shooting. Cleaning the weapon helps maintain its looks like as if it was made yesterday. Without proper cleaning, the rifle can get full of lead and powder residue, which will eventually lead to parts failure and finish wear. A word of warning: the terms receiver, barreled action, and action will all be used to describe the same main portion of the rifle. This is the heart of the rifle, where all the parts are attached or removed. In the case of the Yugoslavian sks, the receiver has been milled, or as commonly referred to as, “carved” out of a block of steel. The following instructions are specifically meant to be followed for the M59/66 sks. Other rifles have different steps to follow. When you disassemble and clean correctly, you will be able to keep a nice, beautifully fit and finished rifle.
The first step to proper cleaning is a complete and thorough safety check. With safety in the on position, that would be the lever next to the trigger guard in the up most position, slowly pull back on the bolt. Keep pulling the bolt back until the magazine follower clears the bolt. When the fixed magazine is empty, the magazine follower will protrude, preventing the bolt from slamming forward, into the receiver. If the magazine is empty, proceed to pull on the bolt with your right hand, back past the magazine follower, and closer to your body. With your left hand, push down on the magazine follower, and slowly let the bolt come forward. When the bolt has cleared the magazine follower, remove your left hand and let the bolt slam into the receiver.
It is now safe to begin disassembly procedure. On the underside of the gun, in front of the trigger guard, is the magazine release. Pull back on the release, and the magazine dustcover and follower will spring out. This is normal. Next the bolt assembly needs to be removed from the action. The receiver cover can be removed only with the receiver cover takedown latch.
The receiver cover takedown latch is located on the right side of the rifle, just above the trigger guard. Move the receiver cover latch counter clockwise until it disengages. You will know when it does by the noticeable click. The cover is now free to slide off. Gently remove and set aside. The recoil spring assembly can be removed, as well as the two-piece bolt assembly. Set all pieces off to the side for later cleaning.
The trigger guard assembly can be removed by facing the rifle upside down. Take a screw driver and insert it into the little square-shaped button behind the trigger guard and push in with a slow, steady force. This should disengage the trigger guard, set aside for later cleaning. Now is the best time to remove the fixed bayonet. Extend the bayonet from the folded position by pulling back on the catch mechanism and push the bayonet forward, until it locks into place. Once locked into place, take a flat-head screwdriver, and turn counterclockwise until the screw is loose. Be careful to keep your left hand on the bayonet firmly, as soon as the screw is removed, the spring-loaded bayonet fill fly off from the released compression of the spring if one is not careful. Set off to the side for later cleaning.
Now, the barreled action must be removed from the stock. Take the barrel guard in your right hand, hold the stock in your left, and pivot the barreled action out of the stock. Set the barreled action aside for later cleaning.. The Yugoslavian M59/66 is disassembled as far as routine cleaning should go. Now carefully take a rag and a can of gun oil, preferably Hoppe’s No. 9 formula. With a light amount of oil, begin to rub down the wood with the rag. Don’t use too much oil, or you will have to soak it up with another rag or paper towel. Wipe up any excess oil, until the wood is clean. This helps to maintain the wood, and keep it from drying out.
The barreled action should be cleaned from the inside out. First take a steel or brass cleaning rod, and place a patch soaked in gun bore cleaner, not to be confused with gun oil, on the end piece of the rod. The barrel should be cleaned from breach to barrel whenever possible, to help protect the crown on the end of the barrel. After a patch soaked in bore cleaner has been run through, a dry patch should be run through the barrel, from the same direction. Keep running dry patches through the barrel until the patches come back clean, and the barrel has a nice mirror-finish on the inside. Coat down the outside of the barreled action with a light amount of gun oil, and clean off, until there is a clean finish to the outside of the rifle. Now, clean the parts that were previously disassembled and set aside.
The Yugoslavian M59/66 is now ready to be reassembled. To avoid fingerprints marring the finish, it is advised to use a set of cheap gloves for reassembly. First, carefully set the barreled action back into the stock. Now, reattach the bayonet. This requires bracing the sharp point of the bayonet against the floor, and aligning it with the hole for the screw to be screwed back into place. Lock the bayonet back into the folded position. To reattach the magazine, keep it in the open position, and push it into the receiver until it is firmly in place. Keep it open for now.
Now its time to place the trigger guard assembly back into the action. Move the front end in first, along the trigger guard guides until it locks and snap the trigger guard into place. Place the two-piece bolt assembly together and push it until it is fully closed on the receiver, opposite the way it came off. Now place the recoil spring assembly into the bolt. After the recoil spring assembly is in the bolt all the way, push the receiver cover over to the point where the it lines up with takedown latch. Push the latch in and turn clockwise. Pull the magazine up until it snaps into place. The rifle is now fully cleaned and reassembled.
These steps are all critical and should be followed in this general order. It is important that everyone who owns this type of rifle knows these steps, how to follow them, and does so with great care. If these steps are followed correctly, you will be able to pass this rifle down to your grandkids and further, as simple maintenance will keep firearms like this functioning and beautiful for a long time.

 

[sithanas]

Your intro doesn't read very well at all, but the rest of the paper is quite good. Work on making your intro sound better than middle school / high school freshman.

Something like this would be good:

Recreational shooting is a highly enjoyable pastime (sp?). However, like any other sport or activity, part of recreational shooting is making certain to safely maintain your firearm. Cleaning and maintenance of a firearm is essential to ensure its proper function and pristine appearance. This paper discusses in brief the procedures for takedown (disassembly) and cleaning of a Yugoslavian M59/66 SKS semi-automatic rifle.

Don't plagarize!

 

[50caliber123]

Target shooting and hunting are both sporting purposes were firearms are commonly used. After such activities, rifles such as the Yugoslavian M59/66 sks need to be maintained. Cleaning is a vital part of owning firearms and safe recreational shooting. Cleaning the rifle helps maintain its looks and proper functionality. Without proper cleaning, the rifle can get full of lead and powder residue, which will eventually lead to parts failure and finish wear.




This is my new "upper" for paragraph 1. I agree, plagarizing is an easy way out. Open to suggestions, but I want the paper to be my own work. Introductions are the toughest to write for me. I always have that "where do I begin?" issue. In terms of undemonizing firearms, do you guys think tjis is a good attempt? I also replaced every word "weapon" with "rifle" or "firearm," just to be on the safe side.

 

[AStone]

50C123,

Good second draft.

I'm a college biology teacher known as much for my essay exams in biology as my writing critiques. All my exams were written. Students had one week to complete them. They hated me, but thanked me afterwards for professional improvement.

With that said, here are my recommendations. YMMV.
_______

First, tell the reader what you will tell them.
Second, tell them that.
Third, remind them what you just told them with a summary paragraph, which is longer rather than shorter.

Paragraph breaks (blank lines between paragraphs) significantly improve readability. Too many paragraph breaks are preferable to not enough.

Paragraph breaks should occur after the following words (whether used explicitly or implicitly): now, after, if, next.

Acronyms should be in ALL CAPS.

Caveats may be best enclosed in (parentheses).

IMO, you use the word "now" too often. But if you are going to use it, place a comma after it.

E.g., "Now, do this."
____________

{Introduction} As a gun owner, I have learned that cleaning firearms is very important. This essay will demonstrate the reason why and how it can be done.

Cleaning a rifle, such as the Yugoslavian M59/66 sks, is a vital part of owning firearms and safe recreational shooting. Cleaning the weapon helps maintain its looks like as if it was made yesterday. Without proper cleaning, the rifle can ... become clogged with lead and powder residue, which will eventually lead to parts failure and finish wear.

(A word of warning: the terms receiver, barreled action, and action will all be used to describe the same main portion of the rifle. This is the heart of the rifle, where all the parts are attached or removed.)

In the case of the Yugoslavian SKS, the receiver has been milled, or as commonly referred to as, “carved” out of a block of steel. The following instructions are specifically meant to be followed for the M59/66 sks. Other rifles have different steps to follow. When you disassemble and clean correctly, you will be able to keep a nice, beautifully fit and finished rifle.

The first step to proper cleaning is a complete and thorough safety check. With safety in the on position, that would be the lever next to the trigger guard in the up most position, slowly pull back on the bolt. Keep pulling the bolt back until the magazine follower clears the bolt. When the fixed magazine is empty, the magazine follower will protrude, preventing the bolt from slamming forward, into the receiver.

If the magazine is empty, proceed to pull on the bolt with your right hand, back past the magazine follower, and closer to your body. With your left hand, push down on the magazine follower, and slowly let the bolt come forward. When the bolt has cleared the magazine follower, remove your left hand and let the bolt slam into the receiver.

It is now safe to begin disassembly procedure. On the underside of the gun, in front of the trigger guard, is the magazine release. Pull back on the release, and the magazine dustcover and follower will spring out. This is normal.

Next the bolt assembly needs to be removed from the action. The receiver cover can be removed only with the receiver cover takedown latch.

The receiver cover takedown latch is located on the right side of the rifle, just above the trigger guard. Move the receiver cover latch counter clockwise until it disengages. You will know when it does by the noticeable click. The cover is now free to slide off. Gently remove and set aside. The recoil spring assembly can be removed, as well as the two-piece bolt assembly. Set all pieces off to the side for later cleaning.

The trigger guard assembly can be removed by facing the rifle upside down. Take a screw driver and insert it into the little square-shaped button behind the trigger guard and push in with a slow, steady force. This should disengage the trigger guard, set aside for later cleaning.

Now is the best time to remove the fixed bayonet. Extend the bayonet from the folded position by pulling back on the catch mechanism and push the bayonet forward, until it locks into place. Once locked into place, take a flat-head screwdriver, and turn counterclockwise until the screw is loose. Be careful to keep your left hand on the bayonet firmly, as soon as the screw is removed, the spring-loaded bayonet fill fly off from the released compression of the spring if one is not careful. Set off to the side for later cleaning.

Now, the barreled action must be removed from the stock. Take the barrel guard in your right hand, hold the stock in your left, and pivot the barreled action out of the stock. Set the barreled action aside for later cleaning.. The Yugoslavian M59/66 is disassembled as far as routine cleaning should go.

Now, carefully take a rag and a can of gun oil, preferably Hoppe’s No. 9 formula. With a light amount of oil, begin to rub down the wood with the rag. Don’t use too much oil, or you will have to soak it up with another rag or paper towel. Wipe up any excess oil, until the wood is clean. This helps to maintain the wood, and keep it from drying out.

The barreled action should be cleaned from the inside out. First take a steel or brass cleaning rod, and place a patch soaked in gun bore cleaner, not to be confused with gun oil, on the end piece of the rod. The barrel should be cleaned from breach to barrel whenever possible, to help protect the crown on the end of the barrel.

After a patch soaked in bore cleaner has been run through, a dry patch should be run through the barrel, from the same direction. Keep running dry patches through the barrel until the patches come back clean, and the barrel has a nice mirror-finish on the inside. Coat down the outside of the barreled action with a light amount of gun oil, and clean off, until there is a clean finish to the outside of the rifle.

Now, clean the parts that were previously disassembled and set aside.

The Yugoslavian M59/66 is now ready to be reassembled. To avoid fingerprints marring the finish, it is advised to use a set of cheap gloves for reassembly. First, carefully set the barreled action back into the stock. Now, reattach the bayonet. This requires bracing the sharp point of the bayonet against the floor, and aligning it with the hole for the screw to be screwed back into place. Lock the bayonet back into the folded position. To reattach the magazine, keep it in the open position, and push it into the receiver until it is firmly in place. Keep it open for now.

Now its time to place the trigger guard assembly back into the action. Move the front end in first, along the trigger guard guides until it locks and snap the trigger guard into place. Place the two-piece bolt assembly together and push it until it is fully closed on the receiver, opposite the way it came off. Now place the recoil spring assembly into the bolt. After the recoil spring assembly is in the bolt all the way, push the receiver cover over to the point where the it lines up with takedown latch. Push the latch in and turn clockwise. Pull the magazine up until it snaps into place. The rifle is now fully cleaned and reassembled.

These steps are all critical and should be followed in this general order. It is important that everyone who owns this type of rifle knows these steps, how to follow them, and does so with great care.

{Summary paragraph about what you just told the reader and why it's important. You should add at least one more sentence to this that captures the essence of your essay.} If these steps are followed correctly, you will be able to pass this rifle down to your grandkids and further, as simple maintenance will keep firearms like this functioning and beautiful for a long time.

 

[50caliber123]

you are right about the word "now." I fixed it, per your recommendations by adding coma, and/or changing it out for another word. I lengthed the concluding paragraph as best I could, but am going into a 4th page, which is strictly verbotten on this assignment, max 3 pages. Its nice to finally get some of my pro-gun beliefs through, without people being able to criticize me soley for choice of topic.

 

[Dionysusigma]

Just a few grammatical corrections...

"In the case of the Yugoslavian SKS, the receiver has been milled, or as commonly referred to as “carved(move comma from after "as" to after "carved"),” out of a block of steel. The following instructions are specifically meant to be followed for the M59/66 SKS. Other rifles have different steps to follow. When you disassemble and clean the SKS correctly, you will be able to keep a nice, beautifully fit and finished rifle.

The first step to proper cleaning is a complete and thorough safety check. With safety in the on position, (that would be the lever next to the trigger guard in the up most position) slowly pull back on the bolt. Keep pulling the bolt back until the magazine follower clears the bolt...

The trigger guard assembly can be removed by facing the rifle upside down. Take a screw driver and insert it into the little square-shaped button behind the trigger guard and push in with a slow, steady force. This should disengage the trigger guard, ( ; ) set aside for later cleaning...

Now, carefully take a rag and a can of gun oil, preferably Hoppe’s No. 9 formula (I don't think Hoppe's #9 is an oil) ...

The Yugoslavian M59/66 is now ready to be reassembled. To avoid fingerprints from marring the finish, it is advised advisable to use a set of cheap gloves for reassembly...

Now its it's (which should be written out as "it is") time to place the trigger guard assembly back into the action..."




Hope this helps.