Happy Thanksgving Food Control

[Wildalaska]

OK Im late, Im four hours behind you all, ya probably are already in a turkey snooze, hope you all signed your release before eating, its time for...

Food Control!!!!!!

Thanksgiving Guest Liability and Indemnification Agreement

Center for Consumer Freedom ^


____________________ (hereinafter referred to as "Guest") has been given
permission to eat at the table of
_____________________ (hereinafter referred to as "Host").
Guest acknowledges and understands that no warranty, either expressed or
implied, is made by the Host as to the nutritional content of the meal.
This document is offered in order to duly warn Guest that dangerous
conditions, risks, and hazards may lurk in the turkey, stuffing,
vegetables, cranberry sauce, fixings, drinks, desserts, appetizers, and any
other comestibles that may be served.

Guest is hereby informed that Host's food may contain any of the following:
calories, carbohydrates, sodium (salt), fat, saturated fat, trans fat,
polyunsaturated fat, monounsaturated fat, peanuts, sugar, alcohol,
tryptophan, caffeine, and good cheer.

Guest acknowledges that eating may incur risks including, but not limited
to, satiation, indigestion, heart burn, dizziness, laziness, heart disease,
holiday spirit, "food coma," and "that bloated feeling." Host's meal
includes all items served, including those brought by other Guests
(including "Grandma").

If Guest has brought minors to Host's Thanksgiving table, Guest assumes the
responsibility for monitoring said minors' eating habits and guarding
against hazards at all times.

As consideration for being allowed by host to enjoy a Thanksgiving meal,
Guest hereby indemnifies Host from all liability for personal injury
suffered by Guest-which may be caused, in whole or in part, by any element
of Host's meal. Guest agrees that neither he/she, nor his/her heirs or
personal representatives will sue Host or his/her associates for any injury
that Guest suffers, in whole or in part, from consuming food on Host's
premises. This indemnification includes an agreement not to haul Host into
court on the basis of:

1. Failure to provide nutritional information;

2. Failure to warn of potential for overeating because food tastes too good
and is
provided at no cost;

3. Failure to offer "healthier alternatives" or vegetarian "tofurkey"; 4.
Failure to provide information about other venues serving alternative,
"healthier" Thanksgiving meals;

5. Failure to warn that dark meat contains more fat than white meat; and

6. Failure to warn that eating may lead to obesity.

GUEST INDEMNIFIES AND RELEASES OWNER FROM ALL LIABILITY.

GUEST HAS READ THIS DOCUMENT AND UNDERSTANDS IT. HE/SHE IS SIGNING IT
FREELY AND VOLUNTARILY, AND PROMISES NOT TO APPEAR AS A WITNESS IN SUPPORT
OF JOHN "SUE THE BASTARDS" BANZHAF, ESQ., AT ANY TIME IN THE FUTURE.

GUEST: ___________________________ DATE:______________________

HOST: _____________________________ DATE:______________________

WITNESS: ________________________________________________

WITNESS: ________________________________________________

 

[7.62FullMetalJacket]

Good One

 

[El Tejon]

Mmmm, turkey, venison, quail, squash, eggplant, green beans, and banana nut bread all washed down with chilled German white wine. (No bear on the menu--this year).

Boxing is going to be tough tomorrow!

 

[mountainclmbr]

I predict that after all the evil guns are melted, BATF will change the "F" to Food in order to avoid the costs of redesigning their logo. They will raid Wildalaska's home to protect him from himself. They will be outfitted with black aprons and black oven mitts. Wildalaska will be jailed for violating the Vegan Act of 2010 which was introduced after the government took over all health care and individual eating habits became a regulatory concern of the nanny state.

 

[Preacherman]

Might want to start with our troops... did you see the menu they were served during President Bush's visit???

From the Drudge Report (excerpted from http://www.drudgereport.com/flashbb.htm):

Menu was boiled shrimp with cocktail sauce, roast turkey and cranberry sauce, baked ham, prime rib of roast, glazed Cornish hen, sweet potatoes, buttered mash potatoes, savory bread dressing and corn bread dressing, turkey gravy, buttered corn on the cob, seasoned green beans; pumpkin, sweet potato, pecan, apple and cherry pie; assorted candies and nuts; assorted salads; assorted breads and rolls; sparkling grape wine; eggnog and assorted beverages. On the table were non-alcoholic malt brew and sparking grape juice.

I guess this army wasn't marching on its stomach for several hours after that lot...

 

[Orthonym]

Ah, yes, Preacherman,

gives me that warm, sleepy, comfortable, drooling, happy, well-fed feeling just to read about it. Hope there were at least some grumpy alert hungry people keeping watch. (Caffeine is a GOOD drug!)