Issues with Moving to a More Rural Community

[jj1962hemi]

I have come to enjoy the group of people on THR and wanted to ask your opinion on something. We often talk about states with the best gun laws and hunting/shooting on THR. I’d like to add a dimension to that discussion that is very important to me and my family.

I grew up in a big city, while shooting (when it was still legal there, it’s not anymore) occasionally, and fishing regularly (within an hour’s radius frequently, and Canada every summer). I spend 3-4 days every fall fishing in central Kentucky to this day. I am a well-educated professional, married to an at-home mom with the same background, two kids in college, with both my wife and I having blue collar roots and many old school values. I’m an avid reader, shooter, cook and people person. My wife and kids are avid readers, cooks, and involved in lots of typical interests, although all are less of a social bulldozer (I take a few tries before I accept a “snubbing”) than I am. My favorite past time involves a coffee or beer in my hand, B-S-ing with friends.

That’s a slice of our background. My wife and I have been considering a move to a more rural area in retirement (in 10+ years), with lots of contingencies, the biggest of which are where our kids end up settling down. We recognize that any choice we make can impact where the kids end up too, presuming there are job opportunities nearby.

In searching for a place to live, we have always liked the thought of living near water, living in an area where the community is more of a community than in the suburbs of a big city (people helping each other, etc.), a more relaxed pace, less crime, more room to stretch out, affordable housing, cultural activities nearby (maybe in or near a college town), and of course a place for me to shoot, hike, fish, etc.

None of this will matter to us, if we end up living in a community where we will be viewed as “outsiders” forever. We have family members that took a job transfer to a rural farming community where, after ten years there, including church involvement, PTA, little league, etc., never felt welcome. I don’t know that we have multiple moves in us if this doesn’t work out. I also think that an area near a college or a university, or near a place with some tourism or out-of-state retirees, will have a higher likelihood of satisfying our criteria of friendliness because people in those areas will be more exposed to “outsiders” and better recognize that (this may just be my own worldview talking) people are people, regardless of the funny accent, ancestry, etc.

As I live in a major metro area and have been exposed to more rural areas mainly through my own tourism and through reading, I’d like to open it up to the group here to get your opinions. Are my assumptions correct? Are my concerns overblown? Should I just stick to a hundred mile radius of where I’ve lived for nearly 50 years? If two retired professionals lived down the road from you, didn’t grow up nearby and didn’t understand your community’s history….would you and your friends embrace them?

 

[Rocketmedic]

You really, really need to look at your health and what assets are available to you in any proposed moves. Plenty of people move to sparsely-populated areas, but that distance often predicates less effective health care, especially in the event of an emergency.

That being said, living in the sticks is quite pleasant. Alamogordo and Otero County, NM are very pleasant and outsider-friendly communities.

 

[xjsnake]

One word: Nashville.

Live outside the city and there is fantastic scenery and if you need something it's only 20 minutes into the city. Great culture, lots of transplants, good weather and great healthcare options.

There is also quite a gun culture in the area and several new shops and ranges have opened.

 

[Hypnogator]

What Rocketmedic said.

I'm currently living in/fixing up my mom's house in small-town Iowa after she moved into assisted living. The medical care here is third-world quality. For virtually any decent medical care, you have to travel to Iowa City, about a three-hour trip for us.

Another big lack is the so-called "Bohemian factor." If we want a McDonalds or a decent Mexican restaurant, we have to travel 20 miles. Want to sip a cappuchino in a book store? You have to drive 150 miles. Want everyone in town to know if you had a spat with your wife, or every detail of any medical conditions you have? Welcome to small-town America! The folks around here are friendly, however. When we PCS'd in to a town near Anniston, AL, we quickly discovered that "If my granddaddy didn't know your granddaddy, you's a STRANGER!"

My advice -- stick to your comfort zone.

 

[Daveboone]

I was raised just outside a medium sized city in Upstate NY (Syracuse), and parallel your interests. When we got married, we chose to live in a very small community north of Oneida Lake, at the base of the Tug Hill Plateau. Roots run very deep here, with many families origins pre-dating the American Revolution. I have never felt like an outsider, though some do...mostly due to their attitude. I have found that no matter where you go, the same people are everywhere, and crime/ potential problems the same, just not in the same concentration. There have been 3 murders within my township in 20 years (none random), DWI and drugs are still rampant. Alcohol probably much more accepted as a norm. On the other side, I dont worry about typical urban issues (dont be foolish, I still lock doors and dont leave temptation in the open). You do accept that lower literacy/ ignorance is more prevalent, but realize it isnt a reflection of intelligence.
On the otherside, a major city with all modern (and advanced) health care, higher learning and arts is only 45 minutes away. We have an excellent firedepartment and full time ambulance squad. The very few instances we needed to call Law enforcement, a prompt response was made (none of an urgent matter). We want for nothing.
I wouldnt worry about the locals, as long as you share the same values and dont try to live outside their circle.

 

[Hangingrock]

It all sounds find but there are certain positives and negatives to living in the sticks.

A previous respondent addressed the health care aspect. Out here where they pump sunshine in one has to be a bit more self-reliant. Weather related emergencies the more densely populated areas are served first to restore power or in the event of an ice/snow storm clearing the roads. The telephone system could be a third world equivalent and cell phone service spotty. TV and internet probably satellite which can be problematic depending on weather conditions. Maintaining the property gets to be nettlesome as one ages.

On the other hand we a flock of twenty plus Turkeys in the yard yesterday which share the property with Deer and the Black Bears are more prevalent then what they have been since we moved in eighteen-years ago.

In the end it’s all of what you make it.

 

[22-rimfire]

I don't think I can address your "question" very well without more information. Your thread did not address many important concerns. I realize you are trying to stay generic. I would discuss with your children as your choices affect their's.

I am going to assume that you move after you retire. Are you going to continue to work after you retire?

Move where you have more room to "stretch out" which presumably means the country?
What part of the country are you currently in?
What signifies an improvement?
What kind of geography and climate appeals to you? East of the Mississippi or West? Mountains, hills, or plains?
Do you have significant medical issues? Medical issues are likely to increase as you age at least for one of you...

What are the most important considerations for you?

You mention the term "outsider"..... significant and hard one to address. I'd say that you have a better chance of feeling "welcome" in a northern state than a rural southern area if you are from the North. Southerners are very clanish. That is less an issue in southern cities. I would say KY is "south". I lived there and I understand the "outsider" perspective. Not an easy thing to address. A lot depends on "you" and how you mix with people.

Live close to water.... lake or ocean? There are developments around and near lakes that attract retired people and many Northern folks are moving to the South. The TVA lakes are very nice if you are comfortable with the fluctuating seasonal water levels since most are for flood control.

 

[gspn]

Great post. Very well written.

If you are from the south (a quick definition being that your football team is in the SEC) then you should consider Oxford, MS. If you are from up north you just need to know that they will accept you, and even though they like you they'll always refer to you as a Yankee. If they dont like you theyll call you a damned yankee.

 

[ball3006]

Problems with that move...

that I face is at my north camp, grocery stores are very limited but there are two liquor stores in that town.

At my south camp, no problem with grocery stores but the nearest liquor store is 25 miles away.

I trek north in May and south in Nov. I just need to plan ahead when I do the moves....chris3

 

[CraigC]

As a native Floridian with southern roots but no discernible accent who moved to the hills of Tennessee six years ago, I can offer some perspective. The level of acceptance will be mostly dependent on you. If you're open minded and gracious, you will have no problems. If you're arrogant and have the attitude that the locals are just ignorant hillbillies, you'll never be anything but "that damn yankee!". It's like that no matter where you move to. The problems that crop up with folks moving from the north to the South is not because you're not one of us, it's when you try to change things to "the way we did it back home". This ain't Chicago, New York, Pittsburgh, Boston or anywhere in between. This is Dixie and things are different. As long as you understand and respect that, you're welcome any time for biscuits & gravy.

 

[22-rimfire]

Good post CraigC. That pretty much sums up my experience as well. I have lived in the South from the day after I graduated from college. Southerners, especially rural southerners, often view your lack of a southern accent as indicating you are likely to be arrogant. You have to demonstrate that you are not "arrogant". It all depends on your attitudes and the way you are built as far as if you feel welcome or always feel the "outsider".

If I were choosing KY as my place to retire, I would tend to stay west of I-75 unless you have roots there even though I absolutely love Eastern KY. I have lived there for years and married there.

 

[jj1962hemi]

Wow! I appreciate all of the great feedback!

I'm a midwesterner, with a pronounced Chicago accent. We would like a place with a longer growing season than No. Illinois, but neither of us like really hot weather (I know, a problem in that the two often coincide).

In the end, if our kids want to stay in the midwest, we'll probably seek a more rural community in driving distance from them (or with them, if they'll like the lifestyle, which I think the older is already leaning toward). The younger is considering changing to a school further south (Arkansas or Kentucky, as of today...who knows?). We do need to be near a good hospital/medical community, but not on top of one. I realize that some places, like parts of Idaho, have a near perfect climate for us, but that would really depend on our kids as neither my wife nor I are willing to be 1,000 miles away from them (and potential grandkids). In the near term, we continue to think about it and plan on doing some traveling with this decision in mind.

 

[jj1962hemi]

I agree with Craig C. and others in terms of accent and education not dictating intellect. I spent five years in the construction industry (in addition to having plenty of blue collar family members, including current and younger generations), and after more than a decade of fishing Lake Cumberland (central Kentucky), I have seen many smart people in bass boats that do a lot more than drink beer and talk football (although I really like beer and football). My 1st trip to Kentucky, I read the local (Somerset) newspaper poll about gay couples attending Sr. Prom....and saw almost a 50/50 pro/con response. So much for assuming a stereotypical value system pervaded an entire area! That was a good primer in terms of not judging people in that area by preconceived notions. Since then, while the people I know are fairly socially conservative, I have seen many, many thoughtful people there.

My lifelong approach has been to assume people are people. I've been to several countries in Europe and South America, and I've found it fairly easy to get along by being respectful and open (although I'm too open for some). This thread is really good for me as I'm trying to move from that fantasyworld stage we often live in to a real examination of what would make my family happy in the real world. Unfortunately, much of the learning will be live, and I'm starting to dig in to learn what I can before making a commitment that's difficult to unwind.

 

[Sam1911]

I certainly appreciate the decision you're trying to make and wish you absolutely the best of luck.

Unfortunately this is completely outside the scope of our discussions here at THR. ALL threads must be STRICTLY about guns, RKBA, shooting, self-defense, hunting, or a very few closely related topics.