3. How do we keep our weapons from being used, in our absence, by our children, or by their friends, or by someone who shouldn't be in our house (not that that has ever happened), and still ensure that the weapon is available for our use at a moment's notice?
There are a plethora of options here, but first off, expose your kids to the Eddie Eagle program of what to do if they find a gun
-stop!
-do not touch it!
-find an adult!
Second, Gun Safe. Unfortunately, these run $1000. However, you can get a locking sheet metal gun cabnet for $200 which works great for storage of 4-5 long guns and some handguns. However, the guns probably won't survive a fire, and if a burglar brings a torch or a powersaw or maybe a pickaxe, he can probably get into the cabnet. In addition to this, there are hard sided gun cases that come with locks, or that have a ring for a paddlelock. I have one I picked up for $75, that is double wide, so I can fit 1 shotgun, 1 rifle, and 2 handguns in it. Finally in addition to all these options for securing the entire gun, there are trigger locks, $10-25, sometimes free from the police department.
Now, none of these really allows the gun to be immediately ready for use. However, there are some small gun safe/gun cabnets $75-200 that are designed to hold 1 or 2 guns, fit in a nightstand, and have finger grooves on the top, with the combination buttons at the tip of it, so you can reach over in the dark, place your fingers in the groove, push the 4 didget code you chose, and the door springs open, you reach in and pull out a gun (fully loaded or not)
4. Is there some special kind of safeguard we could get?
well, there are a few special safeguards, for example, you can have your gun internally modified so that it will only fire if the user is wearing a special magnetic ring....but that's not taht much different than a combination lock on the trigger or a key lock, and often those rings will screw up electronics etc.
2. Should we consider a rifle either instead of a handgun, or perhaps in addition to it?
Yes. First off, the heavier the gun, the less recoil you feel and the easier it is to control. I know, kind of counter-intuitive, but there it is. Rifles and shotguns, being bigger and heavier, all things being equal, are going to be easier to control. Second, as you place the stock against your shoulder and hold on with two hands, this creates a steadier platform for control and accuracy, even disregarding the weight issues. Third, because a rifle or shotgun has a longer distance between the front sight and the rear sight, it is easier for us humans to align the sights properly, which makes it easier to shoot accurately. Finally, in general, rifles and shotguns fire much more potent and powerful rounds than handguns. Ruger makes an excellent carbine that actually takes the same magazines as it's handguns,
http://www.ruger.com/Firearms/FAProdView?model=4701 in 9mm and 40 S&W, another excellent choice would be a lever action (think cowboy)rifle from someone like winchester or marlin,
http://www.impactguns.com/store/026495142001.html chambered in .357 magnum or .44 magnum, both of which are very much easier to shoot out of a rifle braced against your shoulder than they are from a handgun. A final tried and true weapon for home defense is a shotgun. Now, a 12 guage is the most common, and in certain hunting situations, that extra range and power can be important, but really for home defense a 20 guage, which is a little smaller shell and hence a bit softer recoiling, is still MUCH MUCH MUCH more powerful than any average handgun. I think the 20 guage remington upland special
http://www.gunshopfinder.com/remington/remUplandSpecial.asp is an excellent blend of fine wood and solid gun, it's short field barrel makes it a good gun for grouse, but that same shorter than average barrel makes it handy in the home, without the intimidating looks some very short home defense shotguns can have. Not that there is anything wrong with that, besides, that type normally costs a bit less and holds a few more rounds.
mossberg at auction site
1. What type of handguns to get (money is not a barrier, though we certainly don't need any exotic or especially high performing (costly) weapons, given our purpose)?
There is no right answer here. Just identify your primary need. If it is giong to be for concealed carry, small and light is imporant. If it is for home defense, size is basically irrelevant, don't let someone steer you into something small.
Make sure you get a handgun in a reasonably potent caliber, also helps to have something common and easy to find ammo for. Any reasonably healthy person should be able to control a 9mm semi-auto, but if that is a bit much, you can always choose a .380, which is a shorter, less powerful version, usually found in smaller guns (sometimes the guns are enough smaller that it ends up feeling worse than a full sized 9mm) others slightly more powerful than 9mm for semi-autos that are also very common are 40S&W and 45ACP
For revolvers, the place to start and stop is 38 special and 357 magnum. Now, just so you know, the 357 magnum is just a slightly longer 38 special with a more potent gunpowder loading. What this means is you can buy a revolver in 357 (or a lever action gun) and shoot soft recoiling 38 specials in it and work your way up to 357s. A 38 special revolver can only ever fire 38 specials.
Remember, the smaller and lighter the gun, the more it will kick and recoil, all other things being equal.
How a handgun fits your hand and your wife's hand is important. Normally women have smaller hands than men, so some guns they may have a hard time reaching the controls. Also, semi-autos fall into 2 broad catagories, singlestack and doublestack magazines. double stack magazines hold more ammo, but are wider. Frequently in my experience women dislike 15 shot 9mm pistols, complaining about the recoil, when to me it seems just fine. Yet these same women like a single stack 45 with only 7-8 shots, saying it fells better to them, yet most guys say that the 45 recoils to much for them! I am convinced this is mostly due to the thinner grip allowing them to hold the gun better.