BlackArrow
Member
I'll probably get a locked thread for this but what the heck we all need a laugh!
McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Information
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
best meet your needs and desires.
1. Title
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name: ............................................
Initial: ........
Last Name:..............................................
Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
Code Name:..............................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................
2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
......../......./......
4. Serial Number: ........................................
5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
Douglas product
you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will
be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
intend to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Indicate all
that apply
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us better understand our customers, please
indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating
on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
questionnaire. Your
answers
will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve
you
better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
mailings and
special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
groups, and
mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this
survey, you will
be
registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please
write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department,
Military Aerospace
Division
IMPORTANT:
This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named
above and may contain information that is confidential
privileged or
unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
self-esteem, no sense
of
humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the
intended
recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of
this email is
not
authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes
an
irritating
social faux pas.
Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct
context
somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any
legal or
grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed
in the
transmission of this email, although the pit bull next door
is living on
borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will
be gratified
to
learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading
this warning
backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
However, by
pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your
computer you
can
ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
If you have received this email in error, please add some
nutmeg and egg
whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
Sure, you can TRUST the Gov't. Ask any Indian.
McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Information
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
best meet your needs and desires.
1. Title
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name: ............................................
Initial: ........
Last Name:..............................................
Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
Code Name:..............................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................
2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
......../......./......
4. Serial Number: ........................................
5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
Douglas product
you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will
be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
intend to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Indicate all
that apply
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us better understand our customers, please
indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating
on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
questionnaire. Your
answers
will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve
you
better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
mailings and
special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
groups, and
mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this
survey, you will
be
registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please
write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department,
Military Aerospace
Division
IMPORTANT:
This email is intended for the use of the individual
addressee(s) named
above and may contain information that is confidential
privileged or
unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
self-esteem, no sense
of
humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the
intended
recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of
this email is
not
authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes
an
irritating
social faux pas.
Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct
context
somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any
legal or
grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed
in the
transmission of this email, although the pit bull next door
is living on
borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will
be gratified
to
learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading
this warning
backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
However, by
pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your
computer you
can
ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
If you have received this email in error, please add some
nutmeg and egg
whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
Sure, you can TRUST the Gov't. Ask any Indian.
