Okay, our most glorious leader was fired when he pulled his deagle against a lady that we thought was wired with explosives, you know, a terrorist, at the mall.
This guy strapped iron plates to his back so that he could cover us if we came under fire from a sniper, what a man! And to top it all off he used duct tape to keep them on, never once did he winch or cry when we all had the honor to rip it off at the end of the day.
My problem is that I'm next in charge and I can't for the life of me find the gun and ammo that he used (it was an a deep secret that he kept with him forever). A .38 with bullets that went about 12,000fps and had a proven (or as he put it PROVEN) one stop shot which would pick up a 400lb man and throw him over 200 feet while turning his insides to jello. Not to mention not being able to find that 1000000000000000000000 volt, 2000000 watt taser that he "bought from a country that only ships to verified merc's that have the right union card".
And not to mention (and envy for) those really neat slippers that he wore that allowed him to scale up walls.
We lovingly called him the Mall Ninja. He will be missed on staff but I don't think that the head of security is doing as much crying as we all are right now.
Thanks and ninja bless.
Wayne
a.k.a. wannabe mall ninja
(hope everyone realizes this is a joke and I'm just trying to get you into a humorous mood so you can enjoy the holidays).
This guy strapped iron plates to his back so that he could cover us if we came under fire from a sniper, what a man! And to top it all off he used duct tape to keep them on, never once did he winch or cry when we all had the honor to rip it off at the end of the day.
My problem is that I'm next in charge and I can't for the life of me find the gun and ammo that he used (it was an a deep secret that he kept with him forever). A .38 with bullets that went about 12,000fps and had a proven (or as he put it PROVEN) one stop shot which would pick up a 400lb man and throw him over 200 feet while turning his insides to jello. Not to mention not being able to find that 1000000000000000000000 volt, 2000000 watt taser that he "bought from a country that only ships to verified merc's that have the right union card".
And not to mention (and envy for) those really neat slippers that he wore that allowed him to scale up walls.
We lovingly called him the Mall Ninja. He will be missed on staff but I don't think that the head of security is doing as much crying as we all are right now.
Thanks and ninja bless.
Wayne
a.k.a. wannabe mall ninja
(hope everyone realizes this is a joke and I'm just trying to get you into a humorous mood so you can enjoy the holidays).