I'm going to disagree with HSMITH about the Benelli. (no big surprise)
I own two, a Montefeltro 12ga and an M1 Field 20ga. I've had both for several years, and shot thousands upon thousands of shells through them. I've had no problems at all.
My wife shoots the Montefeltro in trap league and for almost everything else, and experiences no problems with recoil (mostly using 1 1/8 oz Remington light target loads -- or similar reloads).
I also own some pump-guns, a Browning 425 O/U and a Beretta 391 Urika Sporting. I can tell very little difference between the Beretta and the Montefeltro with regards to recoil. The 391 may be a little softer, but it's not by much. Both are noticably softer shooting than the pumps, and much better than the O/U.
As far as build quality goes, I certainly think Benelli is in the same league as Beretta and Browning. The Winchester X2s I've handled have been a little rougher in the finish department, although I know several people who swear by them in the field and for sporting clays.
FWIW, I tried some very light 7/8 oz loads in the Montefeltro this past weekend, and did not experience any failures. Admittedly, this was in a very clean gun, and only a box of shells. I'm planning on doing some more extensive testing over the next few months to see about reliability with those loads.
I have seen a Benelli have problems with target loads, but it was one of the Super Black Eagles, using 1 1/8oz loads pushing about 1180 fps. Even then, it would function OK most of the time.
Personally, I'm shooting the 391 for almost all clay games these days. I've got a 30" barrel on it and am using 3/4" extended choke tubes. It works extremely well for me.
My best advice would be to try and shoot whatever you can prior to buying. It may be difficult and require some expenditure of time (and perhaps some grovelling), but it can probably be done. Every gun has a little different fit, function and "personality". Everything you mentioned is good, and it will be worth it to find the one that's BEST for you.