Busdriver72,
Some thoughts..
Arms that have been fired, or "broken in" a bit will be a little easier to work with.
A little lubrication might help.
You could always load your own (handload) or search out "target load" ammunition that is less powerful than average and install a lighter weight recoil spring.
The most prominent spring maker is wolff:
http://www.gunsprings.com/resources/welcomeNOF.html
Some pistols that come to mind, in no particular order -
Smith & Wesson CS9. ?
Taurus millennium PT132 series. ?
*SiG P225. I carry this cocked, which means more risk of ND with rough handling.
SiG P239. I carry this cocked also. Short trigger available-helps a lil.
Kahr P9. Might be too long of a reach to trigger. ?
Springfield Armory ESP. A lil pricey, but good fit.
*Heckler & Koch P7M8 (pricey and exotic op system - part gas, part blowback).
Beretta 80-series. If you have to go with .22lr check out the Beretta 87.
Heckler & Koch P2000 & P2000sk (LEM or DA).
Smith & Wesson M&P. ?
Springfield armory XD. ?
Glock 26, Glock 19. Trigger reach?
SiG P232. I carry this cocked.
*Makarov. Watch the safety, it can cut you. I shaved mine down and leave it off.
Bersa Thunder. ?
Browning BDA. ?
*=discontinued though available used or new old-stock.
Some notes on recoil -
Recoil is work over time .. power if you will. The system of operation will affect the perceived recoil. Your typical systems of operation are: Revolver and Semi-automatic which can be further distilled into two types:
Short Recoil (AKA Browning) and Inertia (AKA Blowback).
Keep in mind that these comparisons are based on arms of equal weight utilizing the same ammunition. Adding weight to the arm would reduce the perceived recoil. From greater to lesser;
Revolvers - recoil is immediate, with no mechanism to delay the opposing force of the projectile, only the weight of the arm itself. Greatest recoil.
Blowback - harder to cycle the slide by hand because the spring is one of the primary mechanisms in keeping the breech closed during firing. The recoil is perceived to be less than the revolver due to the work of the slide and spring being drawn out over a longer time period. Barrel is fixed. Medium recoil.
Browning - usually, but not always easier to cycle the slide than on a blowback. Least recoil due to the mechanism drawing the recoil out over an even longer period of time. Barrel tilts when cycled. Again the least recoil.
Now to tell you that sometimes it is easier for certain people to cycle the blowback because the operation is smoother. The browning will have a hitch or two and may mess up the operators groove-on. Dig it cat.
Nothing wrong with revolvers. Except a lil extra recoil and a lil less firepower.
Speedloaders/speedstrips are helpful.
Best of luck.