Actually, a .357 is a much better choice for SD than the Judge (IMO at least). Its simple, powerful and reliable. The main drawback in a HD scenario is that with full power, mangun ammo the muzzle blast can be pretty bad, and firing one off inside a typical bedroom is going to be pretty hard on the ears and could potentially be disorienting to the shooter. Becuase of that, the .357 isn't my personal first choice for a bedroom gun.
Stick a good, heavy .38 +P in that .357 revolver and it is an excellent option as a HD platform. In a medium frame steel revolver, recoil will be mild to moderate, flash and bang will be relatively low, follow up shots are a breeze (due to the low recoil and muzzle rise) and good .38 loads can meet the FBI's 12" minimum penetration depth while offering the bonus of expansion. Even when I was into the whole wonder9 thing, I still kept a .357 stoked with .38s at my bedside because:
1) I didn't want to mess with safeties at o'dark 30
2) I also didn't want to go grabbing for a manual safety-less gun with a short, light trigger pull (like the XD9 I had at the time) while experiencing an adrenaline dump right after waking from a deep sleep
3) I didn't want to have to chamber a round to avoid 1 and 2 above
I feel plenty comfortable with a fully loaded revolver, ready to go, at my bedside. No safeties, and the trigger does require deliberate effort to squeeze.
A .357 (or .38) revolver is worth look anyway. Since this gun sounds like it will be used by both you and yoru wife, you'll need to find a gun that works for both of you. That may mean giving a bit on your end for something that works optimally for her.
The shotgun is a pretty good idea as well. As much as I love my handguns (particularly my wheel guns), if I know trouble is brewing and I'm able to get my shotgun, I will most assuredly do so. There is something rather comforting about knowing I can blast 9 1/3" diameter lead balls at an intruder with a single trigger squeeze (from a 12 ga Mossberg 590A). A lot of folks don't like 12 gauge kick though, especially in versions with 22" or shorter barrels. So be sure to try before you buy.
Another option would be a carbine of some sort. On a budget, the 9mm HiPoints are on the fugly side, but they usually work reliably. Other options include the SKS, Ruger Mini 14 and Mini 30, the M-1 Carbine and AK and AR pattern rifles. Lot of options out there, have fun!