Suspicious Activity Report - allows the bank to report you for *ANYTHING* suspicious to FINCEN, Financial Crimes Enforcement Network, a division of the US Treasury.
All this thanks to the Bank Secrecy Act!
If you thought the Patriot Act was bad, you havent seen nothing yet.
I wrote a letter. Here it is.
Dear Bank CEO:
My name is DT. I write to you today in order to resolve a standing complaint regarding an incident that occurred in your X branch last week, October 29th. As you may already be aware, I am an account holder with your institution and I have been doing business with X many years without complaint. I was a satisfied customer until last week.
In my own words, I would like to inform you of my view regarding the date in dispute. At approximately 2PM, I was making a substantial currency withdrawal in the lobby. The teller informed me that a short wait would be necessary to retrieve my specified denomination of bills from storage. I noticed a sheaf of business cards rubber banded together printed with the Diebold corporate logo facing me in the teller’s hand. As I am a knowledgeable participant in Wall Street finance, I recognized that Diebold is a major manufacturer of financial security infrastructure and that the combination to currency storage may be written down on this card. Initially I dismissed this thought, as I could not suppose that X National Bank would engage in a practice as silly as writing down a combination to such an important storage area. It is also my understanding that having any combination written down is a violation of federal regulations for national banks governed by the Office of the Comptroller of Currency.
When the teller came back, I realized how wrong I was. The sheaf of cards was placed on the counter, with a preprinted business card allowing for the handwritten combination and number of turns to be recorded - facing towards me with all the blanks filled in. I noted the exact combination on a currency envelope so that I could contact X administrative staff via telephone during my running of errands to avoid a potential scene in the lobby with other customers present. About 5 minutes later, I contacted the main switchboard and informed them of the problem. They forwarded me to the branch manager who confirmed my identity with the exact dollar amount of my withdrawal and informed me that the instance was under control and that all necessary steps would be taken as it was a “training issue†– she also thanked me for the call. In jest, I pointed out that if X wished to thank me they should lower certain service fees.
Later that day I returned to the branch to conduct another transaction at which point I noticed the teller who made the mistake in the branch manager’s office. I inquired on whether or not the teller was being reprimanded for the error whereupon my presence was requested in the manager’s office. Immediately I noticed my account information on her unguarded computer screen and printed pictures of myself on her desk. The manager immediately went into a diatribe describing how large a mistake was committed on my part and that the specific telephone conversation incorporated a felonious act of blackmail upon which I was guilty and should have been prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law – but was not simply because I was a “bank customerâ€. I was also reprimanded for noting the combination. I did so due to my awareness in that your organization receives a number of fabricated claims from customers daily and I did not believe that I would be taken seriously if I did not make a notation of the teller’s error.
I am familiar with the legal definition of blackmail and blackmail requires the threat of disclosure. I have never threatened to disclose the combination to “Locker B†and I resent any allegation of blackmail or extortion. Knowing this, I considered the manager’s allegation to be baseless, in that if her claim held water I would be charged with a felonious offense by the proper authorities. I was not in the mood to argue with the manager who had apparently made up her mind as to what the legal definition of blackmail was – and I informed her that if I made a mistake, I apologize and that X should be more careful next time.
I also pointed out to the manager that she laughed when I suggested that X thank me for taking time out of my schedule to point this out by lowering certain fees, upon which she maintained that she had customers in front of her at the time and was forced to laugh by default. I neglected to ask her why she announced that I withdrew ten thousand dollars in cash in front of other bank customers and if that was another security breach that needs to be worked on. The manager also noted that this instance was extensively photographed and that I would be reported to several different institutions due to my documentation of the incident.
My basic grievance is that by pointing out an error in operations, I have been judged as a common criminal and lectured about how wrong it is to point out a mistake. To speak freely, the last time I recall being spoken to in such a manner was when I was six years old. I disagree with the way the situation was handled, especially the baseless allegations that I extorted X National Bank. This incident leaves me with the distinct impression that I have been made the subject of a Suspicious Activity Report that has been submitted to FINCEN with allegations of extortion, blackmail, and possibly other specious claims all because a manager did not like the fact that I crudely pointed out a mistake. I do apologize for any misunderstanding when I criticized the fees being charged to myself and other account holders, however I sincerely believe that the manager understood the statement was in jest.
My purpose of this letter is to settle this matter in a mutually agreeable fashion. I like to think that my account has been a somewhat valuable asset in the recent years and I would not like to have to take my account elsewhere as a result of this incident. I feel that any report or allegation to FINCEN from X National Bank of impropriety ensuing from my documenting an institution error is a very grievous mistake. I believe this will impair my ability to clear future background checks or security clearances initiated by an employer as well as those from state and federal governments regarding my prospective entry and licensure into the Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms industries. I also feel that the allegations of misconduct and suspicious activity are an intimidation tactic solely contrived to discriminate and harass me for my exposure of institution errors.
The full retraction and elimination of any reports submitted alleging misconduct or suspicious activity on my behalf to FINCEN would satisfy me in this matter. I believe that your position in your organization affords enough credence to properly expedite this request in a timely fashion and is vital in the restoration of my privacy and the soundness my character and my background.
If we cannot settle this in confidence, I am prepared to take any action I deem acceptable to reach satisfaction in this matter. I anxiously await your response.
DT.
You should have sold the # on E-Bay. 
