Conceal carry etiquette in someone's home

[1911Tuner]

I carry everywhere I legally can. I don't talk about it with anyone.

It is not rude -- at all -- to be armed.

This.

I'd been with Kelie for nearly 7 years before her family knew that I'd had a gun on my belt every time I visited.

Her brother in-law was a 15 year veteran of the Winston-Salem PD, and he didn't know it.

And I never carry tiny guns.

Why tell it if there's no need to?

 

[PowerG]

I don't mention it, and have never been asked. I don't visit a lot of people, those friends and family that I do know me and know very well I am almost always armed. If I were to wind up somewhere that the gun wasn't welcome, then I'd very politely excuse myself and be somewhere else. I'm old lol, I've earned the right to do what I want to do. As for being somewhere with kids, I raised four around guns, and have seven grandkids that visit frequently, it's not rocket science to keep the thing away from them. I would suggest, however, that if the kids at someone's home showed a propensity for opening locked bedroom doors and sneaking in where people are sleeping then there are some fairly shocking (to me, anyway) behavioral issues at play with those kids, and it's most definitely not a place I'd be comfortable.

 

[gulogulo1970]

I don't, I leave it in the car. If it's a buddy's house and I know they're cool with it, I'll carry.

I just find it rude to carry a weapon into someones house without asking.

 

[scaatylobo]

"rude " ???

I find it rude to pee on the floor of some ones house.

Carrying a tool on your belt that is part & parcel of your basic makeup is NOT rude.

Farting in public is rude,but allowed IF you must = you must !.

being armed is a choice that we make and its as personal as the underwear we wear [ if we do ], or the CHOICE to go "commando" and that too is none of my hosts business.

I just do not see your point by a long shot.

And again I must note that CONCEALED CARRY means that only you should know !

 

[buck460XVR]

Why tell it if there's no need to?

Again, for some of us, it's because of respect/etiquette. You don't need to say excuse me after you belch, but many of us do. You don't need to cover your mouth when you cough but some of us do. You don't need to pull the chair out for your wife and many don't. But I do. Etiquette as I said before is not law. You are not required to do it. We all have our different levels of respect and personal values. Telling or not is not wrong or right, but a personal choice. If one is not bound by law to tell and chooses not to, no problem. If one is also not bound by law and tells, where is the problem? Are you afraid you need to defend yourself against your host? If so, why go there? I work in peoples homes and CWC most of the time. I do not tell customers I am carrying because I don't always know them or if the reason I am there is legitimate. As a service provider I don't feel they deserve that kind of etiquette. When I go to a home for social reasons, I generally tell or ask. Again out of respect for the host/hostess. Never have I been told to leave or put the gun in the car. Maybe it's where I live or who I hang out with. I don't need that thrill of knowing I got away with something(kinda like the CWC newbies that have to take the "Walmart Walk") by hiding my CWC from my friends. In fact, many times I OC around friends or we compare our CWCs. OMG....now they KNOW!

 

[george burns]

There is no need to tell people what you have on your person, it's a personal decision, and you can't be sure that they won't get robbed while your there. The reason we carry, "at least most of us" is because we don't know where a bad thing can happen, it is actually more likely to happen at a party with several couples than at home alone.
So not having your weapon can end up getting you in worse trouble than keeping your mouth closed about your personal habits.
If it's a good friend, they already know, and if its someone you don't know well at all, that's an even better reason to have your gun. You don't know who may be after them or what their situation is. They could be a bad guy, or a cheating spouse who's got a vengeful other half. The reason we carry in the first place, is because you never know where something bad will happen, if you did, you obviously would avoid it.
For several decades I carry everware legal to do so. That is my only concern,they go where they think they can get in and out easily and get a quick score, what better place than a few couples or more relaxing with the door probably left open and people going in and out.
And the better the neighborhood the better the chance that someone is cruising it, on a weekend looking for some action.
Etiquette has nothing to do with decisions that affect your life, which fork you use for your salad does. You never know what is going on in other peoples lives, My stepdaughter's best friend from college came home from the pumpkin patch, last week with the kids, to find her husband hanging in the garage. You just don't know what is going on in someone head. Just be prepared that's about all you can do.
If you are at a social gathering you can't possibly know what is going on with everyone who is there. You put it in the holster and forget about it, no need to let everyone know you carry a gun, and they will once you tell one person.

 

[Sam1911]

Again, for some of us, it's because of respect/etiquette. You don't need to say excuse me after you belch, but many of us do. You don't need to cover your mouth when you cough but some of us do. You don't need to pull the chair out for your wife and many don't. But I do.

Again, though, those are things that affect other people. They actually matter to someone else. You've created a distasteful noise and smell that someone else has to deal with. Say "excuse me." You're attempting to stop the spread of disease. You're making it easier for someone to sit.

With a concealed sidearm you aren't doing anything to another person at all. There is no affront, no insult, no courtesy involved. Your presence is known and tolerated. The handgun, or cigarettes, or whisky flask, or pocket knife, or "offensive" reading material, or whatever else in your pocket or inside your clothes is not in that person's sphere of awareness. There is no rudeness or courtesy to it, period.


You might as well say, "I know my friend here doesn't like Jews, so I'm going to try very hard not to think about Jewish people while I'm with her." Or, "I know my friend here is a Muslim, so I'm going to leave my pocket edition of the Rig Veda in my car."

 

[FAS1]

If it's a gathering at a friends place I always pocket carry. There could be some hugging to say hi and the possibility of getting close for pictures where someone might grab me around the waist.

I recently had a friend ask about getting their CHL and asked for some advice. He asked if I always carry and I told him he has never seen me that I wasn't armed. He was surprised that he never could tell.

 

[Tcruse]

I'll bet I'm the only "gun-guy" in the world that has a problem with this. Don't really have a good explanation except that I don't want anyone in my home who thinks they need a gun in my home. Would NEVER walk into friends home carrying.....family is a different matter....not logical I guess, just me.

Lots of different views. For the vast majority of homes that I enter, they ask if I am carrying. Now, if I say no I get the "talk" on why would you ever go out without a gun. If I say yes, I get the thumbs up.

 

[Sam1911]

For the vast majority of homes that I enter, they ask if I am carrying.

Wait. Am I reading that right? Where in the world do you live that the "vast majority" of people would ask someone if they are carrying a gun out of the clear blue?

Never heard of such a thing!

 

[Warp]

If it's a gathering at a friends place I always pocket carry. There could be some hugging to say hi and the possibility of getting close for pictures where someone might grab me around the waist.

I recently had a friend ask about getting their CHL and asked for some advice. He asked if I always carry and I told him he has never seen me that I wasn't armed. He was surprised that he never could tell.

That's always a good one.

Sometimes people that I have known for years, sometimes current or prior co-workers, or neighbors, or friends of my wife's, or whatever...they find out they haven't seen me, not one time, in years, when I wasn't armed...I'm not sure they always believe me, even.

Although if somebody comes to our house there is a chance they'll see me unarmed, so for me it's "unless I was inside my own house in gym shorts I had a gun physically on my person" (and even then I might have, but probably not)

 

[R.Greene]

Let me ask a follow up question:

Would you have a problem with someone else carrying in your home? Of course, if it's truly concealed, (as CCW should be) you would never know, but how would you react if you found out?


Personally, I don't think I would have an issue with it for most people that enter my home. They are usually people I trust - family and friends. If it's a person I do not know, like a repairman, and I saw them print - I would probably ask what they carry. Anyone that I would be concerned with to find out they have a gun on them, I shouldn't be letting thru the door in the first place - since I do not pat people down as they come in, what's the guarantee they do NOT have a gun anyway?

 

[buck460XVR]

With a concealed sidearm you aren't doing anything to another person at all. There is no affront, no insult, no courtesy involved. Your presence is known and tolerated. The handgun, or cigarettes, or whisky flask, or pocket knife, or "offensive" reading material, or whatever else in your pocket or inside your clothes is not in that person's sphere of awareness. There is no rudeness or courtesy to it, period.

In your opinion. Your saying it does not make it true to everyone. As I said, we all have different ideals and value and all have a difference of opinion. There are many things that have no effect on other folks and they would never know about. Some times no harm no foul applies, not always. For example, you see a good looking young girl(could be a friend's daughter) with an obvious fashion fail exposing parts that should not be exposed. Some guys would look and admire while others would instinctively look away, out of respect. The girl will never know, you have done nothing to her, no affront, no insult. Only your personal values on respect and etiquette will determine which you choose.

I also think that where folks live, the attitudes toward firearms and the tolerance of others to firearms makes a difference. I assume many folks that choose not to say anything, while claiming it is not needed, are assuming that either their host will ask them to disarm, and/or tell others they are CWC, thus endangering them because their "cover" is lost. Where I'm at everyone I have told has welcomed me with my firearm. They also have been discrete about it and I had no concerns that they knew. If I felt unsafe without a firearm, I would leave.....but that has never happened. I also am not one that feels the need to always carry or unduly threatened if the host was to ask me to disarm. I generally spend 40 hours a week working is a highly dangerous place and not allowed to carry. One accepts that risk and changes tactics and defenses. Not a big deal. The increase in risk is so miniscule in such scenarios , that to me, I don't have concerns. But that is me and my situation. Others may have things differently.

Tell or don't tell. Don't matter to me and I respect one's own choice. But their choice ain't always mine, nor is my choice because it is different, the wrong one for me.

 

[TomJ]

In states where CC is new, such as in Illinois, I'm wondering how much a period of adjustment plays into this. Someone who may not allow it in their home based on being unfamiliar and therefore uncomfortable with firearms may change their opinion after CC has been allowed for a period of time, and they can see that the negative predictions made by the anti gunners have not come to pass. To answer the OP's question, I don't tell anyone I'm carrying, but if I have a good friend who I know would be uncomfortable with me carrying in their house, I would not do so. No right or wrong, here, just a decision we need to make for ourselves based on the situation at hand.

 

[Warp]

In your opinion. Your saying it does not make it true to everyone. As I said, we all have different ideals and value and all have a difference of opinion. There are many things that have no effect on other folks and they would never know about. Some times no harm no foul applies, not always. For example, you see a good looking young girl(could be a friend's daughter) with an obvious fashion fail exposing parts that should not be exposed. Some guys would look and admire while others would instinctively look away, out of respect. The girl will never know, you have done nothing to her, no affront, no insult. Only your personal values on respect and etiquette will determine which you choose.

Maybe she will, maybe she won't.

Maybe somebody else will know, maybe the won't.

 

[maxxhavoc]

"I don't think my sparkle drawers will be making an appearance during our visit, but out of respect for you ... I just thought you needed to know!"

Now that is funny.

 

[mgmorden]

Don't really have a good explanation except that I don't want anyone in my home who thinks they need a gun in my home.

If I felt that I NEEDED to have a gun when going somewhere I wouldn't go there in the first place. The gun is for all the places I don't think I'll need a gun.

 

[guyfromohio]

Something that I didn't "get" when I first started carrying was that people who don't carry truly have no idea or suspicion that you are. It's not a part of their world view. They don't see you printing...they can't fathom the thought. As stated before, if someone is knowingly anti-gun and it's been discussed, I won't carry in their home. If not, and I'm not drinking, it's a non-issue. Don't ask, don't tell worked for a reason.

 

[chicharrones]

I don't need that thrill of knowing I got away with something (kinda like the CWC newbies that have to take the "Walmart Walk") by hiding my CWC from my friends.

Out of the dozen or so people I know personally that have Texas CHLs, I don't think a single one of us get a thrill thinking we have gotten away with something by carrying a gun anywhere.

Carrying everyday to work, at customer's locations, to public businesses, to peoples homes is just routine. It's no different than driving a car, or buying groceries, or mowing the grass, or whatever daily "ritual" that is fairly mundane.

Seriously, when I visit family or friends at their homes I just knock on the door, say "hi, how are you" and walk right in. Some are pro-gun, some are anti-gun, and some are ambivalent about guns. With a solid holster set up, the gun is never even touched. The gun is secure, and since it isn't being handled it isn't going to go off by itself.

Spending the night at someone's home has been covered by others in the thread. I have spent the night in a few people's home and the gun is secured in whatever method is required for that stay.

Of course, like I mentioned way back on my first post, if a homeowner brings it up and asks me not to carry in their home, I won't carry in their home. It's their castle.

 

[Warp]

I don't need that thrill of knowing I got away with something(kinda like the CWC newbies that have to take the "Walmart Walk") by hiding my CWC from my friends.

What are you talking about?

Not only is this "thrill" you are referring to not a thing, at all...but the "Walmart walk" is known as being the first step for a new carrier that is maybe not yet fully comfortable with the idea...thinks everybody is going to notice...thinks people care...it's just to break the ice. That's all. There's no "thrill" with "getting away" with anything.

 

[chicharrones]

I work in peoples homes and CWC most of the time. I do not tell customers I am carrying because I don't always know them or if the reason I am there is legitimate. As a service provider I don't feel they deserve that kind of etiquette.

More importantly, you might actually be working in a very unsafe home. Just because it's a house/apartment doesn't mean there aren't unsafe or violent people inside. You just can't be too careful.

Since you mention that your presence working in someone's home for service is "legitimate", does that make a social visit to friend's or family's home illegitimate?

I figure if a customer invites you into their home it's about the same as a friend inviting you into their home. They both are trusting you to come in and not mess up their stuff. Of course, you're not having your friend sign a bill for coming over and eating their food.

Yet, a visit to a friend's home normally won't send up warning signs of "the unknown" like going over to a stranger's home. Maybe that is the point you're trying to make? That a friend's home is safer ground so you feel obligated to tell them things that you wouldn't tell to strangers?

 

[FAS1]

Would you have a problem with someone else carrying in your home? Of course, if it's truly concealed, (as CCW should be) you would never know, but how would you react if you found out?

No. If you are legally carrying in my home, I have no problem. If you are illegally carrying, you're probably not someone that would be invited to my home to begin with.

 

[Teachu2]

I've been thinking of requiring CCW to enter my home - after all, those are the most responsible people I know and have all passed a background check....

 

[george burns]

As mentioned before, I too have never been asked such a question in all my years of carrying. I think that perhaps people new to this are the only ones with such a thought on their minds. Most of us don't really give it any conscious thought as it is just part of what we take with us when leaving the house.
The idea that you would only carry if you thought you needed a gun is just plain preposterous, as that would mean in retrospect that no one should have ever been robbed at gunpoint because they would never have put themselves in that position.
We aren't psychic, and until we are, if you carry a gun, you take it every place you go, because you don't know where bad things are about to happen.
Following that logic, no one should have ever been shot in a home invasion or bank robbery. If you can convince the bad guys that this is not a place that you should be stealing or shooting people in, then I'm in.
You carry a gun just in case something goes awry, and you are suddenly thrust into a situation that forces you to make life and death decisions. None of us ever choose for that to happen, but unfortunately it does on occasion, sometimes for no good reason, other times for reasons unknown to us. But being prepared for the worse scenario can never be a bad thing, and not being able to predict where this can happen, an intelligent person assumes that they should be prepared wherever they may be, or go, or on their way to, and from, their destination. It's like saying if I knew I was going to get sick, I wouldn't have gone there.

 

[scaatylobo]

@ george burns

I STRONGLY AGREE with your last post [ and the prior one also ].

As I pointed out [ and was ignored ] the home invasion of a home your in,is THE best reason to be armed.

And yes that does happen [ read the NRA "armed citizen" ] ,so are you going to feel righteously good when killed in a home invasion --- just as long as you left your CCW in the car ?.

And as to being armed in a home visit for business,and NOT for a casual friendly visit = I would be more inclined to feel annoyed at a service person that was armed in my home [ I presume I don't know them and therefore do NOT want them armed in my home ] than I ever would about friends that I INVITE to my home --- and they might [ SHOULD ] be armed.

I prefer my friends to be of a mindset that would require them to be shooters and CCW people.

So not ever knowing if a person who enters my home is armed,I am armed and they don't know that either !.

Stays that way ,works for me.

An armed society is a polite society !.