Hey man! Can I borrow your cell phone?

[dev_null]

> if your implying its wrong to stereotype or profile based on appearance... well, your a nice person. i hope that doesnt get you in trouble someday.

Obviously I'm not, since I have tattoos. Good thing I don't wear a ballcap or I'd be completely a lost cause!

Just to iterate what should be obvious: There are guys -- and girls -- with tattoos and piercings I would implicitly trust with my life. And there are button-down pinstripe or dockers and polos people who will stab you in the back in a heartbeak, and not just figuratively.

This guy's clothing might have impacted your distrust but is no more a reliable indicator of his trustworthiness than the color of his hair. And if you believe otherwise, I fear *you* may be the one who gets in trouble because you trusted someone just because they "didn't look like the type."

 

[cidirkona]

"Hey man, can I borrow your cell phone?"

"No."

-Colin

 

[one-shot-one]

dev_null

as someone who has "ran" with both crowds, often folks use the discrp. of tats, "rough" clothes because lots of people can recall seeing that, it is harder to decsribe the "feeling" you get when a stranger walks up to you and ypu know something just ain't right.
i have met biker types that were great people and some that were not, same with three piece suits some are good guys some ain't but some times it is hard to say what it is in that first impression that set off the alarms so we describe looks, its just easier.

 

[pete f]

I do not think to that saying NO to someone asking to spend your money, is rude. I do think that it is completely within your rights and perfectly polite to tell people whom you do not know that spending money on them is not in your plan.

I fully expect that you will do whatever can be done to help someone who is dire need, but to tell someone who is too irresponsible to carry their weight that you do not expect to subsidise their life is perfectly ok.

 

[QuickDraw]

I worked at a grocery store once.This kid would
come in and buy a soda,twinkies,junk.After spending his money,would ask to use the phone to call for a
ride,approx.1/2 mile!After 2 times that was it,no
more phone if he had money.Same with the guy in original post,if he has money for a soda,he had a
quarter for the payphone! Sorry Charlie,personal
responsibility.

QuickDraw

 

[Spreadfire Arms]

you are under no obligation to let anyone use your personal belongings. i would have just ended the conversation as soon as possible, by saying no and leaving it at that. the longer you prolong the contact the longer he has to size you up. also the more reason he has to hang around. if he has no reason to hang around and he still does that should be a red flag to you.

i have been approached at gas stations while pumping gas for spare change. it seems they think you can't leave since you are pumping gas so they can at least hit you up. i just tell them no.

if they are don't immediately leave i sense something may be up. if they are legitimately looking for spare change they are going to hit up the next guy pumping gas, not waste their time with you. i would seriously consider that he/she is up to no good at this time if there were other people to solicit and he did not immediately leave or go find someone else to hit up.

 

[benEzra]

Re: judging people based on appearances--if I remember correctly, Ted Bundy was always clean shaven, hair cut neatly, polo shirts, casual-type pants. In short, upper-middle-class-looking, college-guy type outfit. I think he even put a fake cast on his arm at times, as I recall.

 

[jdberger]

Just to be contrarian....

Twice my wife has had to ask a complete stranger to borrow a cell phone. Once was in the middle of Bay to Breakers and we got separated. Once was an emergency and her cellphone battery shorted out (little kids chewing on it will do that). Both times, someone was nice enough to lend her their phone. Maybe if she was wearing a ballcap and had a tattoo it would have been different.

I've had to do the same - so this "NO/NEVER" attitude doesn't really fly in reality. Sure, be aware and wary but why not be nice.

Now a caveat, the other day I was sitting on BART (local transit) and there were two pretty sketchy guys asking everyone who passed by if they could borrow their cell phone. I said no, too. Had they run, I could have caught them (long train, hard to open the doors and most of the tracks are elevated). But they asked to use it when we were in the tunnel (no service) and again, they were a bit sketchy.

Anyway, just my two cents...

 

[jpIII]

To clarify,...

The fact that he was tattooed and sloppy was not the only reason I declined to let him borrow my phone.

Those factors are just the easiest to descibe in writing. There was an attitude, demeanor and body language that just didn't instill confidence that he was telling the truth.

In other words my gut told me "this guy ain't right", and my gut isn't wrong very often.

Hope this helps

 

[XLMiguel]

QuickDraw hit it - if he had money for a soda, he had money for a payphone. Appearances alone don't mean much, but the 'vibe' does. Trust your gut, don't be a chump.

 

[jdberger]

+1 :d

 

[GuyMontag]

Was I being sized up, or did his mom just loose her son?

You were being sized up IMHO.

Never, ever, ever lend your cellphone to people you don't know - unless of course you're with them in some place they can't avoid coming to to tomorrow. For example, it's safe to give a phone who works in one building with you - he'll be there tomorrow, even if you don't know him. But total strangers? Chance is you're being sized up.

 

[IZinterrogator]

One time I let someone use my cell phone to call home. I was bringing meal containers back from the training areas on the NE side of Fort Hood when I saw a guy standing next to his truck with the flashers on at 2200. We were about 15 miles from the nearest phone. He was obviously in distress so I let him use my cell phone to call his wife for a ride. Obviously, he needed the help.

A couple of months ago, I was at Wal-mart at about 0300 (I always go shopping then to avoid the crowds). A guy walked up to me and started telling this sob stroy about how he used to be in the Army, got out in December, and had lost his job and was recently kicked out of his apartment. He claimed that he had been wandering the streets for three days and had not slept. I wasn't really listening to his story, I was assessing his appearance and demeanor. He obviously had slept well recently because he was too animated for a guy running on empty. Finally he asked me if I had some cash I could spare. I replied, "You know, that's a great story, but since your beard is freshly shaved, I don't believe a ****ing word you said." I turned and walked away. He started telling me that he could explain that. I replied, "Yeah, I'm sure you can" and just kept walking. I saw him again when I was checking out at the register. He retrieved a shopping bag that held his purchases from a cashier and then changed his mind and went to hit up more people for money. I informed the manager that he had made my shopping experience unpleasureable and that the manager might want to escort him from the store to make sure that the other shoppers didn't have the same experience. I left so I'm not sure what happened next.

My point is that you have to check out external factors and your instincts before you give someone a hand. If they look like they are frustrated and really need help, they probably do. If they are a little too relaxed about their predicament, something isn't right and you should follow your instincts. Oh, and you shouldn't lie to a trained interrogator.

 

[Bwana John]

Posted by BrrlGrrl from "The Bay Area";

I realize that this will make me sound like a bi#%$, but it has always been my practice to just say no.

I will bet you are good at it! I have NEVER been hit on so hard by bums as in S.F.

 

[TheFederalistWeasel]

I’m sorry but I agree with those who would have told him no or nope don’t have a phone.

I deal with stupid folks each and everyday and yes some are plain stupid, cannot articulate themselves well using the English language and it comes out sounding bizarre or fishy.

But others do indeed have ulterior motives which could run the gamut of stealing your phone to popping you up side the head at the exact moment you reach for the phone on your belt, the moment you are no longer concentrating on the person in question.

Even as a cop, I won’t let you use my phone, which is my personal phone and not the counties, but… if I feel okay about it I’ll make that call for you or heck I’ll even give you a hand full of quarters and give you a ride to the nearest pay phone as I did for this one pitiful lady who have an obvious addiction to Meth and was giving the local quickie store a fit one night.

I’ve attended a lot of courses where we discussed how people become victims, one recent Criminal Apprehension for Patrol class I took; we discussed how people become a victim.

The instructor had a 90-minute tape of interviews of inmates who made a living out of mugging folks and they explained how, over time they could read people and make a determination who to approach and who not to approach.

These were not intelligent people mind you but they had enough compunction about them to, over time develop what amounted to basic animal instincts to seek out the weakest of the herd.

Probably from experience if I had to venture a guess, from having approached the wrong person on more than one occasion.

A good friend of mine tells a story of a homeless person who approached him at a drive thru window asking for his change, my friend said all he did was quickly look down at his pistol which was located in the door pocket at his knee and look back up, an action that probably took less than one second, the homeless guy saw this and quickly said, “Hey man don’t shoot me, I just want to ask you for some spare change.”

He was not in a position to see the gun.

He was just reacting to experience.

 

[The Rabbi]

I had some guy ask to use my phone while I was on the check out line at the Wallyworld. I just told him "sorry, I cant do that." Whatever he wanted to make of that was his business. If someone came up and said he wanted to borrow your wallet for a minute I doubt any of us would let him.

As for the appearance bit, it is perfectly legitimate and reasonable to suspect someone who looks scuzzy of actually being scuzzy. Sure some of them might be terrific guys. But a lot of them arent. My feeling is anyone who goes to the trouble of cleaning, grooming, and dressing himself appropriately is more likely to care about his ethics and morals as well. And for people who insist they care about their morals but want to dress like bikers or gangbangers then I would say you reap what you sow.

 

[Dirty Bob]

Trust your gut.

The guy might also have been intending to jump you when you looked down to get your phone. From the description, he was up to no good.

We had a couple of home invasions near me a few years ago, perpetrated by a handsome, clean cut man in a nice suit. He talked his way into the front door, then produced a gun and made his demands.

Predators are predators, no matter what they look like. Keep your eyes open and pay attention to your gut feelings about people.

RE: the SF Bay Area: I concur...home to some of the most aggressive panhandlers anywhere. I've had them follow me for blocks, saying: "If you give me some money, I'll leave you alone." What a pain.

Regards,
Dirty Bob

 

[Brrlgrrl]

It’s not just in the city, I reside in a rather small, old city with a population of 29,000 and it happens here. The average home price is over $374,000. (I’m not profiling, just giving a little perspective.) Our local crime statistics rank larceny and theft at the top, closely followed by burglaries, and then motor vehicle thefts.
Before we moved into our 1870’s home and had a washer and dryer, I used the local Laundromat. There is only one. It happens to be in a shopping center with a Starbuck’s – only three stores down. As I was unloading my vehicle, a man walked towards me coming from the direction of Starbuck’s. He asked for a quarter for a cup of coffee. My response of course was no, but I had to add, “You won’t find a cup of coffee around here for a quarter.” Of course I was called the “B” word, and I probably shouldn’t have been flip, but give me a break.
Bwana John - yeah, I’m pretty good at it. Lol I don’t really care what bums or worse think of me. I work hard to enjoy my life, and I don’t hand it over to strangers. I think women in general have a little more experience in being “bi#^&y” to a possible threat. The aggressive “NO” is effective.
Dirty Bob - very aggressive, I agree. I don’t go into SF unless I have to. Thankfully, I don’t have to. When the panhandler said that to you, did you say anything in return? I’d be tempted to say something that wouldn’t be very High Road.

 

[Old Guy]

Who looks like a victim?

I work part time for my Son (Vehicle Patrol Security) my Jeep is marked in true light up in the dark style, when I get to the off ramp, and Joe panhandler is cruising the cars, he bypasses me, when I walk most places, they ask the other people for a $1.00 a quarter, etc, I will be 70 in October, as an ex-bouncer from Liverpool I look every body in the eye, a wee nod if called for also, NO on the odd occasion is automatic, next statement "Piss off" if the asker has any smarts at all, they know who, and who not to ask!!

In most cases, a person who makes money asking for it, has a fairly good idea who will, who will not! An who is NO, and who is HELL NO! person, they know about body language as well.

Borrow my Cel? Blue tooth leaves the phone in a pocket; ear plug for reply and send, the phone will not work as a phone, just as a trans/receiver for the ear set up. So if I wanted to lend it, I can not.

On a good day a couple of hundred dollars is not out of reach for the give me a dollar crowd, I do not earn that, retired an all.

Keep Safe.

 

[Mute]

People don't just usually go up to strangers and ask to borrow their phones. Even on public phones you call call collect. If little red flags goes up inside your head you should listen to them.

 

[odysseus]

I haven't been there in quite a long time, but I found Berkeley California to have very aggressive panhandlers over those in SF at times. It's kind of a young punk, drug culture crowd who have a real attitude problem. That city deserves such for tolerating it, and well... being Berkeley.

When I was a younger, I had a smoker friend who always carried a pack with one cig in it. When we would walk around he would always get hit up (sometimes 3 times in 1 minute) about a smoke. He had an automatic motion of showing the one cig pack saying, "last smoke, sorry." It was hilarious.

 

[444]

I agree with Brrlgrrl and Colin: I don't lie to people who come up to me on the street. I don't tell them I don't have a phone, I don't tell them I don't have any money. I just tell them no. I don't have to make up an excuse. It is my stuff and they can't have it.
I can see someone from 25 yards away walking toward me and I KNOW they are going to hit me up for something: before they even open their mouth I tell them no.
Last time I went to Wal-Mart, guy starts toward me in the parking lot:
"Sir ?"
NO
"Damn"

 

[CleverName]

I've always found that "No, sorry" with a quick smile works well with San Francisco panhandlers. Maybe it's just that I don't look like I have much money in the first place.

 

[cidirkona]

"No, sorry" would imply that I'm sorry that they don't have a cell phone, which I'm not. If they want nice things, they can work hard for them like everyone else does. If they need food, that's different. I gave this guy who said he was a father of two a bag of cheeze burgers once and he almost cried, thanked me WAY too much, and then literally ran off to give it to his kids.

Time is money.
Time = Money

Money is the root of evil
Money = (Evil)^(1/2)
or Money^2 = Evil

Girls are time and money
Time * Money = Girls

Substitute Money in for Time and you get
Money * Money = Girls
or Money^2 = Girls

Substitute Evil in for Money^2 and you get
Evil = Girls

...wait... that's not what I was going for...

-Colin

 

[Bwana John]

And all this time Ive been thinking that the first derivative of girls was time * money, or put another way, if you integrate time * money you get girls( + C ).