I am trying to avoid carrying a .40SW of .45cal pistol.
I had the same problem. I only wanted to carry a .380, but those darned 1911's kept catching my eye. I fought the urge to buy one for the longest time, but my resolve finally cracked, and I bought one "just to shoot, not to carry".
Lot of good that did. Now I won't leave the house without my STI, Springfield Armory, or Kimber in my holster. As a matter of fact, I went so far as to take advanced, tactical, and low light professional training with them. Seems those pesky .45's that I would never, ever, under any circumstaces carry, have become the one and only pistol you will never find me without. Familiarization has proven to be the deciding factor. I picked up a Jericho 941 the other day, and although it fit my hand perfectly, and felt very comfortable, its method of operation is different than what I have formed my "muscle memory" on, so I won't carry one.
I am unable to base my accuracy on type of ammo, as I believe accuracy is the result of many variables. Each and every person has their own preference for any particular firearm. It is what you are comfortable with. As stated earlier, it is shot placement, not size of hole that effectively "stops" a bad guy. Some hollow points in .38 sp have had problems expanding out of short barrels due to lower velocities. I've fired both Federal Hydra-Shoks and Hornady FTX's out of my .38 snubbie into gallon jugs of water at about 20 yards (further than I'd be comfortable engaging a target in real life with the same firearm) and they expanded just fine.
I'd say a good "name brand" hollow point would be very effective out of a .38 sp when it hits a critical area.
Fortunately, I carry a .45, so I only need to hit them in the pinky to incapacitate them.