Folks. I have been in communication with Officer
Milovich regaring her experience, and “lessons learned” since that time. She was gracious enough to write up her current thoughts on it. My ongoing conversation with Officer Milovich has shown me she is a first rate cop, and a hell of a nice person, so please make any responses respectful and thoughtful.
She gave me permission to post these responses/thoughts below, but feels more comfortable having me post them. Let it be known she is busy teaching others not to end up in the same situation she found herself, and has turned the experience into a potentially life saving lesson she teaches to other LEOs. My respect for Officer
Milovich has only grown.
I suspect she may respond to some of the questions and comments from this, but I can’t guarantee it. My impression is she just wanted to clear the air and clarify.
From Officer Candy Milovich:
Let me address some of the more common themes I noticed questioned.
#1 - my weapon. Being hired in 1994 for CPD safetys on our weapons are prohibited. The bastard held the top of the gun (whilst I held the grips & pulling the trigger) causing slidelock.
#2 - my partner. Ah, this is the tough one. (name removed by WB) & I had worked together for some time & confident in each others skills. Complacent is probably the best term here. Should I have waited for back-up? Absolutely. Did I allow myself to be put in this situation? Absolutely. Luckily enough for me I lived to tell the story. As I said in the article, I had never encountered a situation I couldn't control. This isn't 'ego' but me having been extremely fortunate to have been taught by some outstanding officers throughout my career.
This was not my 1st 'shoot/don't shoot' experience. It was my 1st (and hopefully ONLY) shooting. You can ask 100 officers what (name removed by WB) 'should' have done and get 100 different answers. I have NEVER blamed (name removed by WB) for not following me. He obviously had his hands full. He still has his issues with this night, mostly he feels he abandoned me. Which, of course he did not.
#3 - radio - When I 1st gave chase I did get on the air & give my location. During the scuffle with the ****bird my mic popped off the strap on my shoulder. (I had always worn my vest under my shirt as I thought it looked more professional - I have now switched to wearing my vest outside so in the event of another scuffle even if it pops off it will still be near enough for me to call for backup) I was a bit pre-occupied and couldn't exactly call for a time-out to grab the dangling cord.
#4- new weapon. My husband is a Sgt for CPD. He was a sniper on our now defunct HBT team. Having spent so much time shooting he knew all the range instructors very well. My knee-jerk reaction is I wanted a more powerful gun. At that time I was thinking an AK-47 would be great Obviously, not doable. He contacted them and officers from CPD and suburban depts brought in every approved weapon for me to shoot before deciding on a new weapon. Right or wrong, I ultimately went with another 9mm. My thought process (please, correct me if I'm wrong) was/is that I need to be comfortable with the weapon and need to be able to properly control it. Otherwise it's useless to me.
Secondary weapon. I still think that, for myself, it's not the right thing to do. As described, I'm not a large person. 506/150 - Maybe the description of the encounter didn't accurately depict the 'close encounter'. This guy was literally on top of me, often we were nose to nose, I could smell this breath. When I kicked, I often found myself fighting to pull my foot back as he would grab my boot to try to pin me. Had I been carrying a weapon on my ankle he would have gotten it (the only place I could carry and not walk around lookin like Annie Oakley) - no doubt in my mind. Then it would have been a matter of who would have shot 1st.
#5 - timeline. This event from me 1st calling it in to my backup arriving was 2 minutes and 40 seconds as I recall. I still have a copy of the 911 recording. Granted, at the time it seemed like hours not minutes - the entire thing start to finish was very quick.
I beat myself up over this event daily, yes - even nearly 4 years later. As ashamed as I was/am of the horrific mistakes I made I felt it was important for other officers to read/hear it & hopefully learn thru my experience and not make the same errors. I replay the events in my head and KNOW I ****ed up (sorry for the language, it's the only way to describe it) This whole thing has changed me in a lot of not so positive ways, I deal with it as best I can.
The wrongful death lawsuit (50 million) was dismissed by a judge as the family couldn't retain a lawyer who could fight it in court. They hired PI's to investigate, had gone thru 3 attorneys before finally dropping the case. I received many calls from my departments command staff following the incident. Despite my discussions with them regarding training procedures, nothing has changed. As I'm sure you teach - 'you play like you train'. The Academy can talk til they're blue in the face 2 & 1. The fact is they don't train that way. Limited range training has them focusing more of passing the State Qualification, not survival. Obviously range safety is important, but what they say and what they do are 2 different things. What the range teaches isn't their fault. They are mandated to run the range as the Command Staff dictates. We (CPD) only are required to shoot annually to qualify. Period. Shooting on your own time at 1 of our ranges is a joke. Understaffed, most aren't open unless they are doing qualifications.
My responses that night in addition to trying to control were also my playing the Use Of Force model in my head. My thought process was to my knowledge, prior to him trying to disarm me, was he wasn't armed. As true as the saying is 'I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6' is - the truth of the mater at that time was concern for my being held liable after the fact. Our city is not a police friendly one. I have a family & a home to consider. Hindsight is 20/20 - I was 110% justified in any actions I took. At the time though, I had a balancing act to consider.
As much as this story is about 'lessons learned' it's also a story of the will to live. Not giving up. The odds were against me. A felon, with nothing to lose v/s me. I made some HUGE errors. My will to live/survive outweighed his determination to take my life. I truly believe that while officers do need to have confidence & skill with their weapons it CAN'T be the only 'tool in their belt'. Being able to handle hand-to-hand combats is equally important, if not more so in most cases, as the likelihood of physical encounters are more common than shooting ones. I hope I worded that correctly. I know what I mean, I'm not always sure I convey it right.
At this time I still contend with demons from that night. He, ultimately did take a part of me. It angers & hurts me to say & admit, but it's true. I have changed because of it. I still do work the same beat car and the same watch (3-11). (name removed by WB) is now working tact. I declined going back with him as I have been there/done that, and really had no interest in going back. I still lock up bad guys, I don't shy from confrontations. I have 2 great partners who do know of the event, we've discussed at length. Both are males, who act like brothers. 1 threatens to put a leash on me, the other to put a bell on me. I still find that this 'job' for the most part, is fun... As my sergeant from that night says - we (the police) are a special kinda stupid. We run towards what normal people run from.
Ok - I'm rambling & babbling now. Time to sign off. Thank you for responding. I was concerned you would take my message as an attack and would either ignore me or blast me. I appreciate your taking the time to answer.
Have a peaceful day.
Candy
