My kid was discriminated against for my owning guns

[mmike87]

My kid is in Kindergarten and is almost 6 years old. Today he told my wife that his best friend in school is not allowed to come to our house because we own guns.

While attending a birthday party a little while ago, the kids mother asked my wife what we liked to do for fun. She replied that she liked to cook and scrapbook, and that I like to goto the shooting range.

I am angry and sad at the same time. My kid understands ... amazingly ... that it's our right to own guns and that we keep them safely and responsibly. But I am still so very, very, very angry at these miserable excuses for parents.

Yes, I said miserable excuses for parents. Any parent that would deny their child their best friend over an irational safety concern without even talking to us about it sucks as a parent. They don't know us - if they had questions or concerns I am sure I could set their minds at ease.

Damn a-holes.

 

[1 old 0311]

Hi Mike,

You have a right to be pissed. You/we have a legal hobby. You could quote accident stats on guns vs cars, pools, bikes, or rollerblades, but it would do no good. Let your son know that his friend is 'cool' but his parents are unreasonable. He will understand and make new friends, plus the other kid will realize what his parents irrational fear of guns cost him. Maybe he will become a shooter.

Kevin

 

[Zundfolge]

Write a letter to the parents and mail it to them telling them that your child is no longer allowed to play with their child because your family doesn't abide bigotry.

 

[Old Dog]

Seen it happen. It's sad, unreasonable, unconscionable ... Wait 'til your kid comes home from school and informs you that a teacher made a big deal about families that own the evil guns ... Or your child's new pediatrician asks on the questionnaire whether you have guns in your home ...

In late 1993, early 1994, my family and I lived in San Diego ... The woman next door, a new neighbor, saw me unloading rifles from my truck one Saturday afternoon after a day at the range. Shortly thereafter, my youngest daughter (five at the time) informed me that her new friend -- the daughter of the woman next door -- was not allowed in our house anymore because we owned evil guns. I tried talking to the husband, but he shrugged his shoulders and said he had to go along with whatever his wife wanted ...

During this time, a serial rapist, who used a knife, was targeting women -- in their own bedrooms -- in our very neighborhood. The woman next door asked me if I could keep an eye out for any suspicious men in the neighborhood, as her husband was away for a time. I suggested she procure a gun, and even offered my wife's services to take her to the range. She declined. Soon after, a woman on our block became a victim of the rapist after her house was broken into one night ... We moved about this time, so I never got to follow up with this family. Pitiful thing was, the husband was active duty military.

 

[bogie]

If your child wants to go over there, I'd walk with him/her and inquire at the door as to how they've adequately secured household chemicals, power tools, etc., since those things are LOT more dangerous to children than the guns that you have _locked up in your safe._

 

[Pilgrim]

The woman next door asked me if I could keep an eye out for any suspicious men in the neighborhood, as her husband was away for a time. I suggested she procure a gun, and even offered my wife's services to take her to the range. She declined.

No home like this is complete without a "Gun Free" sign on the front door.

Pilgrim

 

[Berek]

I had something similar happen. The thing is, I asked the parent if any of the kid's other friends had guns in their houses. I found out about a week later that his parents cut the kid's friend list to about a quarter of what it was.

I feel bad for these kids and wonder what kind of sociological effect it could have later in life regarding guns (i.e. will he become the kid that shot himself setting off a .45 with a hammer) and what psychological effect by taking his/her friends away...

 

[mmike87]

Seen it happen. It's sad, unreasonable, unconscionable ... Wait 'til your kid comes home from school and informs you that a teacher made a big deal about families that own the evil guns ... Or your child's new pediatrician asks on the questionnaire whether you have guns in your home ...

In late 1993, early 1994, my family and I lived in San Diego ... The woman next door, a new neighbor, saw me unloading rifles from my truck one Saturday afternoon after a day at the range. Shortly thereafter, my youngest daughter (five at the time) informed me that her new friend -- the daughter of the woman next door -- was not allowed in our house anymore because we owned evil guns. I tried talking to the husband, but he shrugged his shoulders and said he had to go along with whatever his wife wanted ...

During this time, a serial rapist, who used a knife, was targeting women -- in their own bedrooms -- in our very neighborhood. The woman next door asked me if I could keep an eye out for any suspicious men in the neighborhood, as her husband was away for a time. I suggested she procure a gun, and even offered my wife's services to take her to the range. She declined. Soon after, a woman on our block became a victim of the rapist after her house was broken into one night ... We moved about this time, so I never got to follow up with this family. Pitiful thing was, the husband was active duty military.

Already done the pediatrician thing. It was done tastefully and respectfully and he didn't make me feel subhuman or anything. In fact I challenged him to quiz my 5 year old on gun safety and he was quite impressed with the results. I never felt I was being judged and that's how it should go down.

I am willing to accept that SOME gun owners are not safe - as a lot of car drivers are unsafe, too. But to pass judgement on someone you don't even know is typically liberal intollerance.

 

[Lone_Gunman]

I would not get too upset over this.

It may be a blessing in disguise. I mean, do you really want your kid playing with someone who is being indoctrinated into left wing political views?

That said, the other parents have every right to do what they want with their kid, even if it makes no sense. If they don't want their kid to play at your home, that is their perogative. To some degree I see their point: they have no way of knowing if your guns are stored safely. If they choose to go to the extreme of banning play with your kid, that is their perogative as parent.

If you get into a big fight with them over this, it will simply reinforce their negative views of firearm owners.

 

[CentralTexas]

Write a letter to the parents and mail it to them telling them that your child is no longer allowed to play with their child because your family doesn't abide bigotry.

+++1

 

[MDG1976]

It may be a blessing in disguise. I mean, do you really want your kid playing with someone who is being indoctrinated into left wing political views?

I agree with Lone Gunman.

 

[mmike87]

I would not get too upset over this.

It may be a blessing in disguise. I mean, do you really want your kid playing with someone who is being indoctrinated into left wing political views?

That said, the other parents have every right to do what they want with their kid, even if it makes no sense. If they don't want their kid to play at your home, that is their perogative. To some degree I see their point: they have no way of knowing if your guns are stored safely. If they choose to go to the extreme of banning play with your kid, that is their perogative as parent.

If you get into a big fight with them over this, it will simply reinforce their negative views of firearm owners.

A decent person wouldn't pass judgement on people they don't even know. I understand their concern and would be fully able to alleviate their concerns. They don't know us and I certainly don't expect them to just take my word for it. But our kids are best buddies in school, and that should count for something.

What kind of lesson are they teaching their kid? Pass judgement over those you don't even know?

 

[joab]

Wait 'til your kid comes home from school and informs you that a teacher made a big deal about families that own the evil guns

Wait till your kid gets hauled into the priciple's office with a DCF social worker and a student counselor and interogated about the guns you have, and then you are subsequently investigated for child endangerment and forced to allow a DCF worker to search and approve of your storage system.
And due to all this mental bombardment he never wants to shoot with you again.
All because some tight assed teacher overheard him making a private comment about going to the range with you that weekend and being allowed to shoot the .22 you bought for him.

 

[Lone_Gunman]

A decent person wouldn't pass judgement on people they don't even know.

How is that different from what you have done? No offense but you have concluded that they are "a-holes".

Who cares what lessons they teach their kid? That is their job and no one elses. If they teach the wrong lessons, its their fault.

Your kid is better off without those people influencing his life.

 

[ziadel]

if it were me, I'd feel bad for my kid, and even though this is a made up problem, I'd have a party for my child at some third party, chuck-e-cheese or something like that.

it's really not fair to your child, I know its not your fault, but like I said, I'd want to make everything ok for my child.

 

[Old Dog]

Joab, that actually happened to you (or family or friend)? That's simply incredible ... I would have a serious problem with that school ... and the fact that any social services agency would even investigate like that based on a teacher reporting she'd/he'd heard a kid making a simple comment about going shooting with his dad is very discouraging.

 

[c_yeager]

Write a letter to the parents and mail it to them telling them that your child is no longer allowed to play with their child because your family doesn't abide bigotry.

More parents should take an active role in who their children spend time with. This kid's parents are clearly misguided, however it accomplishes nothing to use your own child as some kind of pawn in a silly game of recriminations with them. What lesson would you be hoping that your child could learn from such a thing? Decide who your kid hangs out with based on who the other kids are, and the environment that they would be in, not the politics of the parents.

 

[Spot77]

Lots of good advice here already, and of course there's the usual sarcasm (or not) as well

I think I might be about to face the same situation as you. I plan on confronting the other kids' parents about it. I can understand how a family that has never been around firearms would have a fear of them - it's pounded into them everyday in the media.

If I'm correct and they don't want their kid over because of my guns, I plan on inviting them over to see how the firearms are stored. I'll show them the rifle safe with all the rifles unloaded, magazines separate, and ammo stored separately. Then I'll show them the big pistol safe, everything secured the same way.

What they won't see is the electronic pistol safe tucked away nicely in the bedroom next to the bed. No need to scare them by telling them there IS a loaded gun in there regardless of how securely it's stored.

My "gun room" ( funny how my wife calls it the laundry room ) also has a locking doorknob. I'll reinforce the fact that that is also kept locked when guests are at the house.

Most gunhaters are just completely uneducated to what extent us responsible gun owners got to to not only keep our guns and children safe, but to also just flat out prove them wrong about how they stereotype us.

And it's just wrong to keep five year olds from playing with their friends.

 

[Frandy]

(Just saw what Spot77 posted - I was on the phone for a bit before I posted what I wrote below. I'm with you Spot!)


Well, all I will add is that it might be better to not pass so harsh a judgement on them as they seem to have passed on you. Lashing out at them only confirms their suspicions of those of who have and value firearms.

No doubt that yanking the kid from visiting your home is likely to be based on fear, ignorance, stereotyping. To my mind, the right thing for them to have done was to contact you to discuss it, even if they were only contacting you to state their position. That would have been a better thing for mature adults to do.

Me, I would make contact with them, invite them over or get invited over, and try to have a rational discussion without ideology getting in the way. Don't try to convince them of anything. In fact, take the time to bend over backwards and explain that your house is safe. Don't be pedantic, but show them that you aren't a stereotype. You might even find common ground with them. And, if not, then not.

Making allies, or at least having a mature meeting of the minds is the best thing those two kids can experience.

 

[Cyanide_357]

The entire situation is a mess, and I have no idea how I will deal with a situation like that if it ever comes about. But that is because I am still a young college student with no wife or family in sight, as of yet.

One side of me would want to approach them and indicate that I understand their concerns (as not all gun owners are safe), but to explain my position, and that the weapons are stored securely.

(Mention that the safe ways 600 pounds or so, or if I have it my way -- the storage area is constructed from reinforced concrete & rebar, the vault door weighs 400 pounds with 9 1.5 inch bolts, and the access to such is concealed and additionally secured with 1000 lb force electromagnetic strikers, and maybe even biometric locks -- though I don't know if I want to release the specs of my vault room, if I ever get it.)

The other side of me would want to say f-them, but all in all, it really isn't fair for the children, but it's their decision. But lone gunman had a good point when he questioned allowing your child to be exposed to that kind of ignorance, and leftist ideology.

Good Luck on the situation.

Joab, was your post just theoretical, or did that actually happen? If it did, what kind of messed up hell hole school did that occur in? If that crap happened to me, I think I would try and sue for the mental anguish my child received.

Cyanide

 

[scubie02]

just tell him you can't play with THEIR kid because of his parents drug use...

 

[joab]

Old Dog
Wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I did check though, actually I had my ex do it, to see if that was really the catalyst and not my son making inappropriate remarks, the teacher confirmed that it was a simple cpmment about shooting in a private conversation between just the two boys

He was enrolled in a school outside his district and my ex begged me to keep my mouth shut or he may have been sent to Robinswood Middle in Crime Hills
Anybody from the Orlando area could tell you that would be very bad for a skinny white kid that didn't know he was white..

It's a long story how he got to the school he was at and I don't want to hijack

 

[k_dawg]

if all else fails.. finds out what the friend's most wanted toy is. then buy your kid that toy.. and make sure he tells his friend about it, how great it is, and wouldn't he love to come over to play with it!

 

[GRB]

I don't think that the child should have been restricted from going to the other child's house just because there are possibly guns there (I never heard it mentioned that the guns are axctually kept there, so I wonder if the restictive parents know for a fact there are or just assume they are kept there). Whatever, none of this matters. They are the child's parents. THEY CAN BRING UP THEIR CHILD AS THEY SEE FIT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE THINK IT SUCKS - IT IS THEIR RIGHT TO RAISE THEIR CHILD AS THEY SEE FIT WITHIN THE LAW.

Your child misses a friend (if I understand correctly - just from visits to your home - not from associating with one another elsewhere), you get mad, you explain things to your child about how life goes on (hopefully when calm), maybe you take your own advice that life does go on, you take your child and another of his friends to the range with you when they are old enough. Who knows, maybe if you wait until you calm down and then reasonably discuss this with the other kid's parents, they will see the light and relent.

As for this suggestion:

Write a letter to the parents and mail it to them telling them that your child is no longer allowed to play with their child because your family doesn't abide bigotry.

Why do this to make the kids suffer more? Should the children now be pawns in some game of who is the whackier parent? Stay calm, have a talk with the other parents, invite them to the house and to the range. Show them how responsible you are with firearms. If they decline the invite, it is their loss not yours.

 

[Car Knocker]

mmike87,

It's nice to see parents taking responsibility for their children. Obviously they realize that he has no respect for other peoples' belongings and is prone to rifle through their possessions when he thinks he can get away with it. You should be grateful that they are restraining their child and probably should express your gratitude to them while noting that their child is not welcome in your home until his parents can assure you that he has acquired some manners and respect for your property and privacy.