Here,
I fear she has about talked herself out of a gun. I know of nothing that meets all those specifications.
I don't know if the P7 qualifies. It is a SQUEEZE cocker, not a "hold and the safety clears" gun. Worth a look, though. Anything is worth a look, as Murfster describes.
Any handgun without a manual safety will have a relatively long heavy trigger pull and is not much subject to having some outside agency mysteriously pull the trigger. Especially if it is carried in a holster which covers the trigger guard, as most do these days. She should not be carrying a gun of any sort loose in her purse, in my opinion.
If she can get over the psychological need for a grip safety, a Kahr would be a good choice. I know a lady who depends on a P9.
If she just must have a gun with grip safety and no manual safety, you are looking for an original S&W Centennial .38 revolver, models 40 and 42, made 1953-1974. Not a 9mm single stack, but that is as close as I can get.