What gun for Santa Claus?

Status
Not open for further replies.
P

PaladinX13

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2002
Messages
747
It's the night before Christmas and you hear a sound outdoors... oddly, on your roof. Further, you hear the sound of something coming down the chimney... and to make things worse you don't even have a chimney! What do you arm yourself with to repel his home invader? Or do you let him come and go despite not getting your express consent?
 
PaladinX13 said:
It's the night before Christmas and you hear a sound outdoors... oddly, on your roof. Further, you hear the sound of something coming down the chimney... and to make things worse you don't even have a chimney! What do you arm yourself with to repel his home invader? Or do you let him come and go despite not getting your express consent?
Click to expand...

First, I shoot him with my 1911. Then, I head outside with my Savage 30-06 and get me some backstrap! :evil:
 
Forget Fat Guy in Red Suit...

...I'm going for the Reindeer. :p

In fact I have already made plans with Spinner in New Zealand. We are not sure which Route FGIRS [Fat guy in red suit] will be using. So our plans are: I use 12 ga slugs to get my half of meat and Spinner uses ...he ain't sure yet. Seems he likes my idea of letting them Reindeer come at you, shoot, so they fall at your feet.

You folks can do all that dragging, grunting and straining ya want. Personally I like simple. :D

"So Steve how far you lead a Reindeer?"
"About a foot more than a Stork".

Sheesh...doesn't anyone pay attention around here? :p
 
I dunno.
Them guys fly all around the world...constantly chugging their legs.
Gotta be tough meat. =/
 
Primarily interested in the back straps.

Figured if I give the antlers to the Great Pumpkin, scare the heck out of folks and the Great Pumpkin won't get shot.

Down on 9th street the House of Ill Repute needs a new red light bulb.

I gots this figured out.
Leave a Southern Boy alone and let me do my thing.

What you do is wear jeans, tennis shoes, wax cotton coat and go outside to smoke. Just a regular old pump gun with slugs. I shoot from low gun anyway, and being so smooth getting gun to face...fast too...never know what hit 'em.

Puff...bang, bang, bang...plop, plop, plop...

I dunno, it'll be raining deer - figured thats why they are called Reindeer.

Not native here in the South. Makes sense to me.

Smoke...where is Smoke, you wanna piece of this action? Won't even have to get the Q-Beam out. These deer come "pre-lit".

Be like "sing along with Mitch" - just follow the bouncing ball....follow the red nose, cover the nose, slap trigger , pull through.

:evil:
 
I'm a fat guy, whitehair and full beard, blue eyes, wire rimmed glasses, rosy cheeks, have been seen in a red suit at this time of year, and known as Santa. I carry a 1911 - Careful
 
Shotgun...

Gotta hit him on the "wing"... Roof sluicing is frowned upon where I hunt.

--Shannon
 
As humorous as this thread is, why don't we take a different route?

What would Santa Claus carry?

jmm
 
You said what would Santa carry .
Wasn't there a post on here about ugly guns ?
There was a real ugly red and green 1911 if I remember right .
Maybe that was Santa's

Merry Christmas , Bill
 
Santa would carry:
1. a Springfield 1911A1 Mil-Spec loaded with Speer Golds and Trijicon night sights on his hip,
2. an HK USP compact 40 concealed IWB,
3. and have a snub nose S&W 38spl arould his ankle,
4. and a Rem. 870 pistol grip stashed under his "dash."
*Not to mention the Benchmade boot knife, tucked in beside his nice, warm wool socks.*

When flying through DC, NYC, or San Fran's "rough" areas, he has his sleigh outfitted with:
1. two Colt M4-A3's
2. and two AK-47's *full auto* manned by the elves,
3. and his trusty MP5 if things get ugly.

Ammo cans line the floorboard, all filled with quality rounds. Hollow points for the pistolas and some incindiery rounds for the AK-47's (just for fun!). :D :neener:
 
Someone Help!!!

There is a song by Wierd Al Yankovic called Christmas At Ground Zero
If somebody with better cpu skills than I could post a link or somethin,it would go well with this thread.
Anything with the line "But if someones comin down your chimney, you better load your gun and shoot to kill." needs to be heard by all here
thanks
 
It's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringin' and the carolers are singin'
While the air raid sirens blare

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test

Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin'
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last minute shoppin'
It's time to face your final destiny

Well, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath a mushroom cloud

[siren]

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbin' down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill

Oh, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
And if the radiation level's okay
I'll go out with you and see the all new
Mutations on New Year's Day

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover with my yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday

[siren]

:D
 
I'm hoping for snow so I can find tracks. Shouldn't be too hard to spot the sleigh and reindeer tracks on rooftops. Santa probably has a bullet proof sleigh, kind of like the pope mobile. Probably has 20mm cannons on the sleigh. Doesn't need to carry.
 
dracphelan said:
First, I shoot him with my 1911. Then, I head outside with my Savage 30-06 and get me some backstrap! :evil:
Click to expand...
:D :D :D Mmmmmm!!! Reindeer backstrap! Santa would look like Rudolph with my P99's M6's laser on his nose! ;)
 
i've got the glock G20 with ameriglo night ghoust ring sights...i've got the surefire ready set to stunn...and two full mags of 15 rounds of 10mm loads...i'm reeeady!!!:p
 

Attachments

  • ameriglo.jpg
    ameriglo.jpg
    43 KB · Views: 15
  • glock g20.jpg
    glock g20.jpg
    59 KB · Views: 14
  • myg20.jpg
    myg20.jpg
    52.7 KB · Views: 12
  • nutkick.gif
    nutkick.gif
    9 KB · Views: 137
I've always worked off the assumption that Santa is a government agent.Wears a uniform,knows if you're naughty or nice and determines if you're worthy of a gift once a year...Only makes sense to me.It didn't take much more specious reasoning to figure out who he works for based upon what sorts of presents he usually leaves for me so I decided to put out a plate that's a little better than just milk and cookies.Yeah,I know-I couldn't swing any good hooch after coughing up for the SIG and Cohiba to bribe him with but I heard he's a guzzler anyway.


attachment.php
 

Attachments

  • santa.jpg
    santa.jpg
    124.3 KB · Views: 1,374
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top