Yo Mama so tactical...............
she taught you to field strip, clean & fire the most widely used assault rifles, subguns and pistols before you were allowed to go to kindergarden.
She gave you an M1 carbine for your fifth birthday.saying..'its a good little starter gun, son'
she has reinforced cement flower pots at the perimeter of her 'command post' to deter suicide truck bomber's.
she has camoflagued sand bag bunkers in strategic locations in the yard.
She works out with an aerobics video that uses a M1 Garand as it central weight for arm strength and as a stretching tool.
she built a reinforced platform in the roof of the house(permit said sunbathing) for a camera platform and to house the remote control MK19.
She painted claymores to match the exterior decor of the 'command post', pointed outboard and wired into the panic room(she calls it OpsHQ)...next to the bank of video monitors and joy stick for the autoloading grenade launcher.
She calls the lawn the 'freefire zone'.
Langley, SpecOps Command, SAS and the Pentagon have her number on speeddial.
On your birthday cake, the candles had a strange resemblance to sticks of TNT, she said...'blow out the fuses....FAST!!'
She is outlawed in 6 countries(well eight, but the other two no longer exist...perhaps because OF her visit).
She has a mini- mine dispenser and smoke screen on the aft end of her personal hummer. And two rocket tubes on the roof for 'traffic jams'.
She holds 'morning briefing' and 'threat assesment' everyday before the family departs.
She has downloaded photos of all her 'favorite' personalities from global news, hollywood and certain political figures to be printed up for target practice.
Instead of UPS and FedEx, her deliveries come in dark armored vans with tinted windows and no identifying features.
She has a chopper pad in the backyard...that gets used!
Her satalite dishes have little to do with televised entertainment.
She has a sign at the front gate, saying 'stick to the sidewalk, I am getting older and forgot where I put all the mines!'
When the Neighbors stray poodle 'found' one of the mines last summer, she administer the coup de grace with an MP5SD! And said something about having a nice stew for dinner.
I have only one question? Does she have a single younger sister?
Jercamp45