Don't bother with 165 grain loads in a .44 mag. Even 180 gr loads are best used for plinking and special purpose loads. For self defense loads, use Speer's short barrel .44 mag ammo. It uses a 200 gr JHP with a very wide hollow point at a velocity between 1050 and 1150 from a 4" barrel. Or use an equivalent reload with their SB bullet. Plenty of power with less noise, flash, and recoil.
I have learned that when hand loading any caliber, the heaviest and lightest bullets available almost never give the best performance which is available for that caliber. The heaviest bullet I have used in .44 mag is 325 gr, and the lightest is 200 gr. Most of the time, I stay between 210 gr. and 300 gr. with jacketed bullets. You can accomplish anything a .44 Mag is capable of doing well by staying within that range.
By following those guidelines, you will usually get better accuracy and a fairly decent ballistic coeff.
In .30 cal rifles .308 Win and larger, bullets from 100 gr to 220 gr are commonly available along with a few 240 and 250 gr bullets for long range target shooting. I never use bullets lighter than 125 or heavier than 200 gr.
