We have a 12ga. Mossberg 500 and .410 Mossberg 500. The 12ga sleeps on my side of the bed, and the .410 on my wife's.
Even loaded with 3" magnum .410, her shotgun recoils less than my 12ga with 2.75" shells.
Frankly, I can't imagine why people poo-poo the .410 in a shotgun. In a handgun, sure. But in an 18.5" barrel, it's got roughly the same velocity as a 12ga, and still hits with 350grains worth of lead (yes I know, it counts differently because its not one big slug but that's still a lot of lead no matter how you count it).
I think we have a propensity to enjoy a bit of overkill. If velocity is good, more is better. If weight is good, heavier is better. You get the idea. But ultimately, fast followup shots with a .410 and quick maneuverability with a lighter gun have a lot going for them.
I would stake my life, and the lives of my family members on the efficacy of a .410 loaded with 3" magnum 000 buck shells at in home distances. It's a great tool for that job. It lacks the versatility of the 12ga, but for the niche of HD, i think it's perfectly appropriate even if I don't get as many man points for it!
And now I'm going to go sip a cosmo and stick my pinky up in the air!