There is nothing magical about a .45. It "works" the same as any other bullet.
Bear in mind, though, that it is heavier-for-caliber that penetrates better. That's because, all else being equal, a wider bullet will penetrate less. (Think about it. Imagine a nail and a coin of equal weight and hardness. Which will penetrate better - the nail end-on or the coin face-on?) This is all quantified in things like sectional density and, to some degree, ballistic coefficient. But the concept is straightforward.
A 185 .45 is relatively light for the caliber. So it will have a greater tendency to stay in the target, expand violently, and stretch tissue (perhaps to the point of tearing). A 230 .45 is relatively heavy for the caliber, so it will move slower in the air, but with a greater tendency to keep going within the target medium.
There is nothing you can do to make a .357 bullet terminally perform exactly like a .45 performs. That doesn't mean they can't have the same effectiveness, just that they'll do it differently. If you make a .357 heavier to match .45 weight, you will increase sectional density and make it more penetrative. If you keep the weight the same and increase caliber, you will make it less penetrative. Make sense?