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2004 Assault Vehicle Control Act

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by braindead0, Jun 23, 2003.

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  1. braindead0

    braindead0 Member

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    Due to the increase in vehicle related violent crimes in recent years, today Congress passed the "2004 Assault Vehicle Control Act", which according to supporters will save tens of thousands of lives each year. Booby Hoover (Citizens Against Vehicle Violence) stated, "It's for the Children, nobody needs a high speed assault vehicle with a high capacity gas tank, and automatic transmissions require years of training to operate safely".

    According to sources, vehicle crime accounts for the vast majority of deaths in the United States, if we can save just one life by doing this it will be worth it.

    The act places several restrictions on vehicles, and requires that all vehicles that fail to meet these requirements (as of today) must be turned in to your local Police Department.

    1) 1000 pound weight limit. Any vehicle over this weight is considered a dangerous weapon.
    2) 2 occupant limit. Allowing more than 2 people in a single vehicle is the #1 cause of drive by shootings, as you must have a driver and a lookout there will be nobody left to shoot the weapon.
    4) Automatic transmissions are illegal for private use. An automatic transmission allows the user to change gears without thinking about it. This leaves one hand free to wield a baseball bat on innocent mailboxes. One press of the gas pedal is all it takes. This is ridiculous.. Nobody needs that!
    5) Gas tank capacity is limited to 2.5 gallons. Anything more is exceedingly dangerous due to fire and explosion potential. Not to mention this limits the ability for criminals to flee the scene of a crime. No more interstate highway chases!
    6) All vehicles will be designed to travel at 45mph maximum. Driving any faster increases the kinetic energy of the vehicle to super dangerous proportions. This also allows police officers to easily catch fleeing criminals.

    All of the above contain an exemption for Law Enforcement officers as they have the training necessary to operate a high-speed assault vehicles safely.

    Penalties for violation of this new law range from 10 years to life.
     
  2. TarpleyG

    TarpleyG Member

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  3. foghornl

    foghornl Member

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    And, of course, Sen. Ted "Where is my secretary, and my car?" Kennedy is exempt.
     
  4. braindead0

    braindead0 Member

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    Oh yeah, forgot to exempt fat bloated ******* politicos.
     
  5. Darrin

    Darrin Member

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    I can make you a deal on a pre-ban Camaro! Hi-cap gas tank, auto trans, and seating for four! A steal at $50,000*!! Act now, this thing won't last long!!



    *$65,000 at car shows
     
  6. Kobun

    Kobun Member

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    We should find the money to run this as an ad in the major newspapers.
    It would be worth it just to get the reactions of the sheeple. :)
     
  7. benEzra

    benEzra Moderator Emeritus

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    "BAN RACE CARS TO PROTECT THE PUBLIC"

    A "high speed crime escape vehicle" is defined as any motor vehicle with any two of the following high speed features:

    --spoiler that "protrudes conspicuously" above the rear deck lid
    --air dam
    --speedometer capable of registering over 85 mph
    --engine with more than two valves per cylinder
    --blackout paint job
    --rear tires more than eight inches wide
    --"Sport Compact Car" front license plate

    Banned by name are any of the following vehicles:
    BMW (all models)
    Porsche (all models)
    Ferrari (all models)
    Lamborghin (all models)
    Volvo (all turbo models)
    Mitsubishi (all models using Lancer platform)
    Any car that appeared in "The Fast and the Furious"
    Any car that Charles Schumer thinks looks fast
    Trabant

    "I'm tired of nine-year-olds running down seven-year-olds with NASCAR stockers." --Bill Clinton

    "Nobody needs a Ferrari or Lamborghini to go to the grocery store. No honest driver needs more horsepower than a Toyota Prius." --Charles Schumer
     
  8. WingZero

    WingZero Member

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    Does this mean that the DMV is coming to confiscate my Lancer Evo VII?
    Or can I keep it as a "pre-ban"?
    :D
     
  9. keyhole

    keyhole Member

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    :p

    I can see this going off topic,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,getting locked........................great thought though.




    :evil:
     
  10. FPrice

    FPrice Member

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    The problem is...

    "Due to the increase in vehicle related violent crimes in recent years, today Congress passed the "2004 Assault Vehicle Control Act""

    This is NOT far from the truth. Many enviro-wackos already want to outlaw SUVs.
     
  11. Jesse H

    Jesse H Member

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    Cool, I'll be able to sell my preban cars for a pretty penny.
     
  12. BallisticTip

    BallisticTip Member

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    Only preban, SUVs. non 4X4's will be allowed !
     
  13. Combat-wombat

    Combat-wombat Member

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  14. TechBrute

    TechBrute Member

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    They can take the keys to my twin-turbo RX-7 or my bulletproof suburban FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!
     
  15. FPrice

    FPrice Member

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    As i see it, the relationship between this topic and firearms is that many of the same people seem to deprive us of BOTH. These people know more than anything else what is good for all of us and are willing to force their viewpoint upon us regardless of logic or freedom of choice or any other philosophy which this country was built upon.
     
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