I'm not surprised on the BT's performance on your shoulder hits.regarding the ballistic tips smashing through shoulders, I've used the heck out of them, especially in 130 grains in 270 WSM and 140 grains in a .280 and those were typically capable of smashing one shoulder, but not the off shoulder. But with a quartering shot, they often would still penetrate completely. However, with my .243 WSSM and 95 grain ballistic tips, I did have issues with shoulder shots, including one time on a mule deer in Wyoming that I shot about 7 times at fairly close range (less than 50). The bullets were blowing up on his shoulder while he staggered around and I kept shooting him. Point is, if you're using a .243 for deer, stick to a stoutly constructed bullet if under 100 grains. I've seen the 100 grain standard factory loaded soft points from Federal, Winchester and Remington do good work, but the lighter loads are a little iffy from what I've seen.
Tuck them behind the shoulder into the ribs, or at 50 yds, high in the neck just below the head is a great meat saving shot. However, a motionless animal and a good rest is needed for me to do this. They drop nicely, but there is not much room for error.
BT's will work if you don't ask them to things they are not physically capable of.
If you can't wait for the right angle, (like a bowhunter), use a bigger cartridge, and /or premium bullets.