A magnum, is a magnum, unfortunatley. If your wanting something that is a reliable and high performing S.D. round that is going to be more managable, considering it's for your Wife, I would look at some of the 38 special +p S.D. stuff. There are tons of seriously high performance factory S.D. rounds available for the 38 special. I've tried Gold Dots for both short barreled and standard barreled, Federal Hydra Shock, and my favorite, the Golden Saber. I don't know if you reload, so I suggested some of the factory ones I've shot through a chronograph. The Golden Saber were around 1125 fps with the others in the upper 1000 fps. range., that's from a 2 1/2" barrel.
Now if you reload, you could load some 38 +p+ that will get you into the 1300 fps range quite easily, while still feeling much more managable than even the lesser of the .357 mag. rounds. It kind of contradicts what I know about felt recoil, but they are far more comfortable to shoot. If going the reloading route you can custom build your S.D. rounds according to your personal preference. Might be something to think about?