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A know-it-all gets his come-uppance...

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Preacherman, May 31, 2004.

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  1. Preacherman

    Preacherman Member

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    A Memorial Day to remember...

    I went down to the local shooting range this afternoon, to visit with friends and enjoy the scenery (I can't shoot myself, thanks to an injured back and my :banghead: :fire: :cuss: doctor's orders). All was going well until a well-known and much-unloved know-it-all arrived with his new girlfriend. He was going to "teach her to shoot". We sat back to enjoy the fun.

    I should mention that this guy is well known for knowing everything possible about every firearm in existence, and quite a few that we've never heard of. His knowledge of ballistics is also extraordinary (as in "I can make hits at 1,000 yards with a .22 LR with no problem"). Needless to say, we were breathless with anticipation at the prospect of seeing this genius imparting his wisdom to the unlearned.

    He started off by giving her a .22 revolver (good first step, anyway), but then ruined the effect by constantly yelling at her whenever she didn't do EXACTLY what he told her to do. After a few minutes, with a quaver in her voice and a tear in her eye, she handed him the gun (muzzle first) and told him that since he was so good at it, he should show her how it's done. We grinned, and sat back to enjoy the show.

    Needless to say, his marksmanship sucked big-time. Two cylinders of ammo went into about a 20" group (at 10 yards), with nothing inside the 10-ring. By now, our (less than inaudible) comments were riling him a bit, I think, as the back of his neck was turning red and steam was coming out from under his (tactical black electronic SWAT) earmuffs.

    He said to his GF "Give me a minute to catch my breath and settle down, and then I'll show you!" He proceeded to walk up and down, breathing deeply (and heavily), clenching and unclenching his hands, and generally trying to get into the Zen of the moment. Meanwhile, some of us put our heads together, agreed on a plan, and passed the word to the other shooters. We gathered in a line behind his shooting position, on either side of him (not directly behind him). As he stepped up to the line, one of us got hold of his GF and pulled her back to join us, whispering in her ear. Her face lit up, she grinned, and stood back.

    He spent about 30 seconds lining up his shot. Meanwhile, behind him, each and every shooter present (27 in all) was lining up on his target with his or her gun of the moment (including rifles, shotguns and handguns). As he pulled the trigger, everyone let fly with one round of their own! His target sort of disintegrated (the plywood backing came clean off the uprights) and went bouncing merrily downrange. He jumped like a startled skunk, and spun around with his jaw drooping - to see his GF doubled over with laughter, and the rest of us grinning widely at him. The oldest among us - a retired police captain, now a well-preserved 87 years old - said to him "See, son? That's how it's done!"

    Funny, he didn't stay long at the range after that... :D
     
  2. Larry Ashcraft

    Larry Ashcraft Moderator Staff Member

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    :D
    And that's all I got to say about that.

    :D :D
     
  3. CrudeGT

    CrudeGT Member

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    :D That's good fun right there. Someone should have congratulated him on his ability to destroy the target with one shot....:D
     
  4. Dionysusigma

    Dionysusigma Member

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    :D :D :D BWAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAAAA! :p

    *sigh*

    Sometimes, reality is more unbelievable that fiction... and more entertaining, too. :neener: :evil: :D
     
  5. buy guns

    buy guns Member

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    hahaha omg that is hilarious.
     
  6. kudu
    • Contributing Member

    kudu Moderator Staff Member

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    :D Oh how I love it. All you evil conspiriters, hahaha. :evil:
     
  7. mondocomputerman

    mondocomputerman Member

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    See, a .22 IS effective with the right shot placement!! That was pretty funny.
     
  8. Amish_Bill

    Amish_Bill Member

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    I sure hope someone kept the GF back to teach her to shoot properly... ;-)

    If nothing else, she now knows that there are some good guys out at the range too. :D
     
  9. P95Carry

    P95Carry Moderator Emeritus

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    Wow - that good!! bwhahaha!

    Sounds like you guys did a great job Peter .. I'd like to have been a fly on range!

    He sounds like that unlikeable animal ... the ''Dorkus egocentricus maximalis''.:D
     
  10. Ringer

    Ringer Member

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    Sounds like a good day for all (except the 1,000 yard .22 shooter). Ignoring those types can sure be difficult sometimes. Would enjoy being an active bystander on such an event :evil: .

    Hope your back is on the mend soon.
     
  11. Valkman

    Valkman Member

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    That was great - hopefully you guys saved the woman from thinking that shooting sucks! :)
     
  12. Harbinger

    Harbinger Member

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    Great story!
    Glad you were able to provide the woman a laugh at his expense. :D
     
  13. Vasilia Zhietzev

    Vasilia Zhietzev Member

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    :D

    ...can't wait to meet him, LOL. & lemme wear something fun, like a versace (say it : ver -say- ces, LOL) dress with an AR tricked out in hot pink furniture....heh-heh....

    vasilia

    p.s. no outfit is perfect without appropriate accessories.
     
  14. Standing Wolf

    Standing Wolf Member in memoriam

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    Outstanding!
     
  15. mcneill

    mcneill Member

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    Great story, Preacher - love it when the good guys win. Sounds like the novice girl friend had a lot more sense than the "marksman".

    Jim
     
  16. ExtremeDooty

    ExtremeDooty Member

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    I only wish someone had been shooting with a camcorder.

    I would have loved to have seen his face when his target blew up.
     
  17. 2nd Amendment

    2nd Amendment member

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    Are we certain you guys don't have GunKid in your midst? :D
     
  18. joegerardi

    joegerardi Member

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    Vasilia:
    It's Ver-sah-chey!

    Ty Russkiy? Ukraina?

    Ya gavaryu pa'Russkiy nim nogo.

    ..Joe

    Great job, preacherman!
     
  19. Mr. Mysterious

    Mr. Mysterious Member

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    Thats great, I bet that guy about crapped his pants when all those guns went off!
     
  20. Preacherman

    Preacherman Member

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    O mysterious one, yes, it was a bit loud... especially considering that all 27 shooters were standing at the back of the firing points, underneath a corrugated-iron roof over the firing line, which tended to bounce the muzzle blast straight back down! Sounded like the opening of an artillery barrage...

    :what: :D :D :D
     
  21. Black Majik

    Black Majik Member

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    LOL, that is sooo priceless. Good job to you and the guys! :cool:
     
  22. BryanP

    BryanP Member

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    Preacherman, you just made my morning. I'm off to work with a smile on my face. Good day to you sir.
     
  23. MLH

    MLH Member

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    Preacherman

    I do believe your turning to the dark side!:evil: :D
     
  24. XLMiguel

    XLMiguel Member

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    Too funny!:evil:
    In addition to being a moron, he also sounds like an abusive toad. He isn't doing gun owners or the shooting sports any favors with his 'teaching' style.

    I gather that since this was a "new" girlfriend, they don't last long, and here's hoping that this lady has sense enough to join the ranks of "ex-girlfriends" in short order. A wise person once gave me some advice regarding evaluating potential mates while you're dating - she said 'watch how they treat the waitstaff at a restraunt when you're dining out . . . that's how they'll be treating you in six months.' I've found this to be almost infallible at identifying selfish/demanding/crass/abusive personalities. even early on in a realtionship when people supposedly are on their best behavior.
     
  25. Old Fuff

    Old Fuff Member

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    We did something like that to a gentleman who well deserved it once. In this case it was an indoor range with 5 or 6 firing points, and everyone was shooting a .22 pistol. Each time he shot our victim would look in his spotting scope to see if he made a hit. All of sudden each time he shot he had six hits or so, mostly centered in the 10-ring. It took him a while to catch on because we told him the multiple holes were caused by bad ammunition. He switched to a different box, but it didn’t help.

    I don’t ‘spose Preacherman or I will ever get to heaven if we don’t reform our ways …
     
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