El Tejon, I've shared blinds and boats with lots of auto and pump gunners, can't recall many dings. None hurt, nor scarred.
TR, the BPS is a good shotgun. It's overpriced, IMO, but it's plenty of gun. It's not made in the US, either.
Provalov, fire some fast COFs with your shotgun of choice from standard postion and the hip. Shoot for score and time. Note the lower scores and longer times from the hip, and decide if you want to stake your family's safety on a less effective technique. NOBODY, repeat NOBODY, shoots as well from the hip as they do from the shoulder.
As for your wife,spring for a few lessons from a qualified instructor for her. Benefits will be amazing, tho she may outshoot you afterwards.