You're right about the recoil being stout. Shooting 9mm in the PF-9 reminds me of shooting .357 Mag in a medium-size revolver. It's not exactly a fun gun to shoot IMHO, but it's designed to be carried often and fired little.
It is quite accurate as long as you can manage the recoil and the long trigger pull. If I do my part, the bullet seems to go right where I'm aiming. The trigger pull is very long, but quite smooth and reasonably light.
My PF-9 was 100% reliable for for first ~220 rounds, but then the takedown pin started coming loose while firing which causes the slide to lock up. I haven't figured out exactly what the problem is yet, but I suspect it's an issue with the spring that retains the takedown pin. I haven't gotten around to calling Kel Tec about it yet, but given their lifetime warranty and reputation for great CS I'm sure they'll take care of it.
The only other issue I've seen is that with new magazines, the slide may not lock back correctly after the last round. The is due to the slide lock catching on the plastic mag follower. This isn't really a big deal and will go away after the magazines are used more. You can also fix it manually by sanding down the corner of the follower. KTOG.org has info on how to do this if you're interested.
In conclusion, if I were to do it all again I'd probably still buy a PF-9 even though I'm a little annoyed about the takedown pin issue. The gun is very affordable and it's hard to find another gun that can outdo the PF-9 in its role. If you choose the PF-9, though, you need to go into it expecting to test it thoroughly, maybe work out an issue or two, and likely do a little work on it in terms of polishing the feed ramp, shaving flashing off the frame, and possibly repainting the contrast sights (mine were less than perfect, but it's easy to fix). If you want a gun that's guaranteed to be dead nuts reliable out of box, you'll probably have to look at more expensive options.
I also bought a SIG P239 in 9mm since I started having trouble with the PF-9. At this point it's a temporary replacement since I haven't even talked to Kel Tec's support people yet, but if I can't get the PF-9 to run reliably I'll switch to the P239 full-time. I also got the SIG because I wanted a 9mm for recreational shooting that won't beat up my hand, and for winter carry since the larger pistol will be more controllable. However, the SIG costs almost 3x as much as the Kel Tec, so it's only natural that it be higher quality.