Your hands are not too small. No normal human's right thumb is long enough to reach a standard 1911 slide release, and the extended slide releases lead to malfunctions due to their weight and bulk. Avoid them.
If you want to use the slide stop to release the slide, that is perfectly OK and understandable. You can get into the fight faster after a reload by using the 1911 slide stop as a release rather than slingshoting the slide if you use the right technique.
After you insert a full magazine with the palm of your left hand, you will find your left thumb crosses your right thumb on completion of the insertion. Rotate your left hand and fingers to assume the thumbs forward firing grip as you reacquire your sights. You will find your left thumb passes alongside the slide release. Mash it down with your left thumb as you rotate your left hand into firing position. Voila! The slide goes forward, stripping the first round from the magazine and chambering it. You pull the trigger as your sights align on target.