My 642 with what they now call "+P" rounds is not terribly difficult to manage, but I choose non +P for carry and range practice. Three reasons:
1) No BG is going to think, I bet he's just got regular .38SPL in there, so I'm good.
2) I can shoot smaller groups with less effort with non +P. Missing a BG with rounds that are going 75FPS second faster makes no sense.
3) +Ps hurt after a while, and that discourages sufficient practice.
I'm like most female shooters I know (and the OP's lady, I suspect) in one way at least--I don't care if my factory carry ammo and my accurate but moderate-power handloads are not considered macho and don't win me any velocity contests. I do care about getting hits. With a snubby, that's even more important.