Bush, Kerry courting orange voters

[Harry Tuttle]

Bush, Kerry courting orange voters

By Rick Methot

http://www.ldnews.com/Stories/0,1413,139~10142~2476214,00.html

Have you seen the poodle?

It's a delicate, white foo-foo little thing with a red bow in its fluffed-up brow. It's trimmed in that poofy poodle-cut that makes them look like walking pompoms. Did I mention this one is wearing an all-too-precious blue mid-section vest with a Kerry logo? The "dog" appears to be doing a leg-up impression of a point, but underneath the illustration is the line:

"That dog don't hunt."

It's the work of the 4-million-member National Rifle Association. Love 'em or hate 'em, it's rather clever. OK, so the NRA is short on grammarians, but you get the idea. Wussie dog, wussie Democrats, and their candidate is a threat to sportsmen and gun-owners, the two groups pretty much joined at the hip.

The poodle ad is going out on TV in key states, and a print version can be found at many sports shops catering to hunters and fishermen. Message to sportsmen from the NRA: "If John Kerry wins, you lose."

A key target that both candidates are aiming at is Pennsylvania with its 1.3 million licensed hunters, the most in the country according to Keystone State tourism. Pennsylvania is one of those so-called "swing states" that can go into either candidate's win column. Al Gore won here by just more than 200,000 votes in 2000. It's been said that if he had kept his mouth shut about his gun-control position in certain places, say West Virginia, Arkansas and Tennessee, he probably would have won those states and the presidency. This time around, the Dems should take at least one heavy-duty sportsmen's enclave, North Carolina, home to veep candidate John Edwards.

Gun control, hunters' rights, etc. are touchy subjects, not quite on the seriousness level of Iraq, the economy or stem-cell research, but if you're a one-issue voter, your perception of which candidate is the sportsmen's friend is the biggie.

Thus, forget that blue state-red state map for a moment and consider orange states -- blaze orange -- where hunters, if they get off their duffs and to the polling places, might make a big difference.

And both candidates are trying to come across as "good old boys," in such iffy states as Florida (not again), New Mexico and Ohio, according to the Congressional Sportsmen's Foundation, supposedly a bipartisan outfit.

A survey by the CSF suggests that an average of 80 percent of sportsmen in those three states are likely voters. Yowza.

How will they vote? Well it's no surprise that George W. Bush will probably do best among this demographic, and he just garnered the endorsement of the NRA. No surprise there, either. "President Bush: Friend of Gun Owners. John Kerry: A Gun Owner's Worst Nightmare," reads the endorsement headings. Personally, Richard M. Nixon was the only president in my lifetime who gave me nightmares, but sweet dreams.

The sportsmen's (and women's) vote is seen as important enough to both candidates that they agreed to interviews in this month's issue of Field & Stream magazine, the first time in the magazine's 109-year history that a sitting president has been interviewed. There's a picture of the prez fishing for bass (in his private pond) and Sen. John Kerry with a recently dispatched pheasant, fancy side-by-side shotgun resting on his shoulder. But the interviews cover more than the guns and hunting, such as environmental issues, where Dubya doesn't score many points, even among outdoor types.

There isn't the space to print even the highlights here, but if you're a Pennsylvania sportsman, I suggest you pick up a copy and make your own decisions, if you haven't already.

The NRA rates Kerry an "F" as in "fake, fraud and Second Amendment Phony," saying he's voted against gun owners more than 50 times. Kerry responds, "The NRA has a silly methodology that doesn't make any sense. I'm a gun owner. I'm a hunter. But I vote for reasonable things."

Kerry suggests the Brady Bill is reasonable.

Meanwhile, Bush says "I love to hunt and fish," but is the guy who lusts to shove oil-drilling rigs into public lands.

The trouble with this "huntier than thou" affectation by Bush and Kerry is that even if they do what they say, it doesn't relate to the average Joe tramping around state gamelands. The candidates are pampered and catered to on private club property with fellow mucky-mucks who pay more in annual membership dues than the nation's average gross individual income. Picture Augusta National with bird dogs.

Somehow I can't picture either Bush or Kerry settin' around the campfire back at duck camp, still in gamey smelling camo togs, chuckling over that brace of greenheads that pitched in while the guides pulled the decoys, spooning up firehouse venison chili and knocking back a shooter or two. Oops, that reminds me, neither of these guys drink anymore, which could cause some problems in bourbon-and-branch-country balloting.

Come the late night of Nov. 2, I want to see the results from Lynchburg, Tenn.

As well as all those "orange" states, especially my native Pennsylvania.

Forget my "primary resident" state of New Jersey.

I heard it went lavender.

 

[c_yeager]

and their candidate is a threat to sportsmen and gun-owners, the two groups pretty much joined at the hip.

I just wish that this seemingly obvious statment was understood by a higher percentage of the "sportsman" that I have met. It's disconcerting how many people honestly think that they will never take their hunting rifle or shotgun.

 

[Standing Wolf]

Gun control, hunters' rights, etc. are touchy subjects, not quite on the seriousness level of Iraq, the economy or stem-cell research...

The right to defend one's life and property against the predations of tyrants, terrorists, and criminals is primary. Everything else can wait.

 

[magsnubby]

c-yeager,
Show those "sportsman" this web site:

www.armedfemalesofamerica.com/crosshairs/maine.htm

Scroll down to:"Nobody Wants to Ban Your Deer Rifle Either"

Ask them "Still think Kerry and hic co-horts don't want your deer rifle?"

 

[444]

A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a YSL suit, Fendi shoes, Bvlgari sunglasses & an Armani tie leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complexes. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves, " says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the Cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant to the Kerry campaign." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business.......Now give me back my dog.