Dear Abby Get Real

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preachnhunt

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In the Dear Abby column of our local paper today a woman wrote in about her husband getting a handgun and how opposed she was to it. Abby advised that they talk about it etc. and then said "If your home should be burglarized and the gun stolen,the chances are great that it will be used for criminal activity. If your husband can live with that then so be it.":barf:
I intend to write in with a rebuttal and would encourage others to do likewise.(all high road of course).Am I over reacting or should we take an opportunity to be heard?
Sorry I don' know how to post the whole article in question but maybe someone else can.
 
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 33 years. All my life I have been vehemently opposed to having a gun in our house. Our three boys didn't even have toy guns.

I just found out that my husband recently bought a handgun and hid it from me! His reason? "I wanted one." Needless to say, I am furious. Your thoughts, please. -- UNDER THE GUN IN MIAMI

DEAR UNDER THE GUN: A few come to mind. Before buying the gun, your husband should have had enough respect for your feelings to discuss it with you so some ground rules could be established. It would be interesting to know why, after all these years, he feels so vulnerable that he thinks he needs a gun in the house.

Also, if you haven't already done so, both you and your husband should take a gun safety course as a precaution against an accident. Check with the police department to see where they are offered so you will know how to safely store and handle the weapon.

It goes without saying that your husband should never point the gun at anyone unless he actually intends to use it -- a frightening thought in itself. If your home should be burglarized and the gun stolen, the chances are great that it will be used for criminal activity. If your husband can live with that, then so be it.
Click to expand...

http://www.arcamax.com/dearabby
 
Sounds as if this guys wife thinks that she can control another beings wants and desires. Look her, my wife isn't exactly thrilled about my hobby of collecting firearms either, but that is her hangup, not mine. The guy done what he wanted, and his wife couldn't handle it. I think he has bigger problems other than the firearm debackle.
 
Check with the police department to see where they are offered so you will know how to safely store and handle the weapon.

and ONCE AGAIN the MYTH that the 'gun' use and safety expert in town is your local Police Department.

By similar logic those folks should also be consulted when one considers what brand of of car jack to use.
 
Yup, gun stuff.... :scrutiny:

She is an anti gun liberal, that is why she answered as she did, no more, no less.
 
Haha! I think it's funny, the husband buys a gun and hides it from the wife... HAHAHA! He has to go covert to get stuff done, and then his wife finds out and seeks to validate her frustration by writing letter to the paper! Sounds like a perfectly functional relationship...
 
dear abby died years ago [3+] and before she passed 2 of her 'girls' were groomed to continue her column. it was often easy to spot their vrs her advice. them being more liberal and feminist then abby. their advice column was dumped within 6 months of her death by my local paper and 100's of others because of feed back from reads speaking to the tune of 'its reading more like preaching than advice giving'
so much for dear flabby--has anyone seen pictures of these two [18 is the new size 8 and one never has denied being gay]. but the discussion revolvers around their advice and his gun. not looks, sexual orientation or religion.
married 33 years and living in FL gets me to thinking he's pushin 60 and retirement in a area where crime hasn't gotten better lately and possibly he knows of 1 or more people who have been affected. FL laws are gun-friendly and he has a perceived need and a right to act on it.
if he is slipping mentally--early stage altzimers or some other health issue--be with him at his next doctor visit and discuss the issue. if he wants to avoid being a victim he 'can live with it'. a class and safe storage.....of course. it is possible [ if she is open minded enough to go] that a safety course will lighten her misgivings. and she would not be the first that once trying the spor,t came to like it.

will my post 13 or this one be deleted next?

as what had been posted before me has been butchered by Art Eatman, i may as well edit mine to fit the new ambiance here--Fahrenheit 451
 
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Dear Abby from HIS side

It's all based on who tells the story and how it is presented. At my brother-in-law's funeral a couple of years ago, his best friend gave the eulogy and said it best.."I may be in trouble because Fred got there first to tell his side of the story."

"Dear Abby;
Help! I am a husband and father who tries to take responsibility for the safety of my family. This is a pretty complex issue because there are so many elements of daily life that need to be examined with an eye toward safety. I try to get the best information and the best tools available to accomplish this task. We have good locks on the doors and windows, fire extinguishers at home, everybody has a cell phone, we keep track of each other...in other words, everything I can think of to do."
"Abby, with this in mind I bought a tool for defense. I may use it for sport at times but it will primarily be the defensive tool of last (or best) resort. I bought it with the intention of making it part of a system...training my wife and oldest child how to safely access and use this tool. With familiarity they may also want to use it for sport."
"Abby, she went ballistic! Didn't I know that tool could hurt an innocent person? Some thief might steal it and use it to commit a crime!. Oh, how could I have done such a thing without her permission?"
"Abby, maybe I erred.Should I have gotten the pink tool or maybe the Hello Kitty edition? Maybe that would make it more palatable."

signed Stoneless


"Dear Stoneless,
"Boy you are aptly named! It sounds like your wife de-stoned you some time ago. Man up and present your case, although you shouldn't have too hard a time if you keep the purpose of the tool as the focus. She will be more receptive if you show that you are planning for your family's protection."
"If she is still unconvinced, you may need to seek professional help. In the past I have found that a repeated, well presented and vigorous tool intervention can work wonders."
"Don't buy the pink one. If you have to sell that tool later you'll have to use the 'bigger fool' marketing strategy."
 
I may be going out on a limb here, but - gun issues aside - does it not seem like a good idea for people of the same household to discuss major purchases before they occur, especially if one person in the house has a strong opinion about it? It's not an issue of being "whipped" or "stoneless" - it's about finances and respect for your spouse.

Let's say that you were vehemently against having a dog in the house. You're not allergic, you just really hate dogs and never want one, even for your kids. You are going to be pissed as hell if you come home one day and your wife dropped $500 on a purebred Siberian husky, especially if her reasoning is, "I wanted one." I think you have the right to be mad, and question her judgment in getting something that you hate and have made known that you never want in the house. (And, sure, it's a separate issue if your fear of dogs is irrational or not ... but that's not really what's at stake here.)

Also, some of y'all are reading a little too much into this, just as the Dear Abby folks did. The guy didn't say he needed it for protection - he just said he wanted one. They (and you) are assuming that he feels he is in danger. That might not be the case, but we don't have enough information to be able to tell.

And finally ... is this advice really that bad? Aside from the part about burglary, the Dear Abby folks are basically saying: "Gee, I dunno why he did it - maybe you should ask him. Oh, and since you've got one, you might as well both take a safety course to make sure you know how to use it. Oh, and don't point it at anyone unless you intend to shoot them."

Is that bad advice?
 
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Absolutely you should write her to correct her, and the rest of us should too. This is the philosophy of Tom Gresham's "Truth Squad" and "No Shrugs" policy. No lie goes unchallenged.

And honestly, she wasn't that bad, advising training and safe handling. She is just willingly believing the lie that a gun in the home is more likely to kill a family member than a bad guy. THAT is what needs to be challenged.

I am envisioning a new advice column, titled, "Dear Massad,"....
 
Aran said:
$500 is a major purchase?
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Not compared to a car, maybe, but surely it's enough money that you'd be annoyed if it got spent on something you didn't want to have in the house in the first place, and were never asked about.

We don't really have enough information to say anything about these people's financial situation, but I bet there are more than a few married people reading this who have had a spouse take one look at a new firearms purchase and say, "and how much was THAT?" :)
 
Before buying the gun, your husband should have had enough respect for your feelings to discuss it with you so some ground rules could be established.
Click to expand...

I may be going out on a limb here, but - gun issues aside - does it not seem like a good idea for people of the same household to discuss major purchases before they occur, especially if one person in the house has a strong opinion about it? It's not an issue of being "whipped" or "stoneless" - it's about finances and respect for your spouse.
Click to expand...

Dear Abby was right, and so are you. Bringing a lethal weapon into a home is a major ethical/moral decision, and if you have any respect for your spouse, you'd talk about first.

so much for dear flabby--has anyone seen pictures of these two [18 is the new size 8 and one never has denied being gay]
Click to expand...

Why is this relevant in any way to the matter at hand. Do the opinions of overweight or gay people no count? Are overweight people or gay people notably more irrational?

Mike
 
Dear Abby and Dear Gun Owners

Something about this thread really opened up my eyes.I now know why we as a group cannot ever make any headway regarding attacks on our rights.It's because we never seem to stop attacking eachother over the smallest things.I wish we had this passion against the Antis.
No matter what statements someone makes,it ends up a huge argument about what do you mean by that?Oh well.Me thinks we all need to grow thicker skins.:banghead:
 
Of course the issue isn't about manliness. And I actually agree with Abby's advice, both about discussing purchases and firearms safety.
My post was intended as mockery of the need of some people to write to advice columns (or post threads in forums for the sake of posting) . The tenor of the answer here is condescending, but what do you expect? She was asking a question to which she already knew the answer.
 
So, wait, we're all getting in a tizzy over the "lie" that if the gun is stolen, it will probably be used for criminal activity? After, you know, being stolen? By a criminal?

Where can I get some of this delicious Kool-Aid?
 
The real question here is....How do women justify all of their small purchases that add up well over the couple of guns the man buys?


Disclaimer: This was meant to be funny, if you lack a funny bone do not reply.
Also, my wife had a hissy fit not when I bought my last rifle but
when she found out I had to spend the same amount of $$$ on
scope and rings. :p :D
 
your husband should have had enough respect for your feelings to discuss it with you so some ground rules could be established.
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Ground rules could be established. Mutually and reasonably decided huh? God I love woman speak. I swear there has to be a man owners manual they only keep in the ladies room.
 
The main issue in this, to me, is that he felt the need to keep the purchase hidden. That could have been due to expense, but was probably due to the deadly-weapon angle. Basically, he married an anti-gun wife, and was trying to get over on her. He has a problem that he created 33 years ago by marrying someone incompatible to him. Now, people change over time, so this could be a recent development on either, or both, of their parts, but I bet it isn't.

Now, Abby's response is just sheer bliss-ninny touchyfeelyism. "...why, after all these years, he feels so vulnerable that he thinks he needs a gun in the house", with the implication being that there is something about the marriage prompting this, is clearly absurd. Newsflash, him wanting to own a gun certainly has nothing to do with being afraid of his wife :rolleyes: or feeling "vulnerable" in reference to his marriage. Get over yourself.

He wants a gun. He married an anti. He's trying to have his cake and eat it, too, without the ensuing argument. As pro-gun as I am, I'm not particularly impressed with the problem he created for himself.

Mike
 
Writing Dear Abby makes so much more sense than sitting down with her husband and talking about why she doesn't like guns and actually listening to why he wants a gun. :rolleyes:

There are compromises that could be made. He could get a range membership and rent a gun to go shooting. No gun in the house but he still gets to shoot. It isn't a perfect situation but at least he'd get to shoot.
 
Folks ever notice how much easier it is to follow a thread when posts that are on-topic are all that are there?

:D:D:D
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You got that right!This thread is an eye opener.
Wish the "real" Dear Abby was still around.Her answer would have been much more real world and much less PC.
I was a big fan of hers.I didn't always agree, but she had so much down to earth commonsense, starting in 1955 when I was a baby.Nothing scared her ,including guns.
Miss you,"Abby".
 
There are compromises that could be made. He could get a range membership and rent a gun to go shooting. No gun in the house but he still gets to shoot. It isn't a perfect situation but at least he'd get to shoot.
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A rented gun at the range doesn't help much at home if someone decides it's home invasion time.
 
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