Does the wife carry?

[KICK4426]

I have a medium to large frame semi-auto on my person or within my reach at all times. I also prefer to have a long gun near by when possible. However, my wife said she did not like firearms when I first met her. (She had never been exposed to them either). After several "heated discussions" she has finally come around. She is not what I would call a "shooter" but, I take her to the range fairly often. She has also come to accept that there are several fire arms in the home. (Even with our 7 month old).

With all of that being said, In Indiana almost anyone can carry. All it takes is a fingerprint based backround check. If you are clean (no felonies or other violent crimes) you carry. However, my wife who works loss prevention for a retail store will not carry. It never seemed to bother me. It was her choice. But, now she has our 7 month old with her quite often and it makes me feel like I should have some kind of say.

Any suggestions on how to convince the wife to carry?

 

[WNC Seabee]

1 year ago this week I got my concealed carry permit and a .38 snubby. The wife (Registered Nurse AND License Clinical Social Worker...) said, "You better keep that thing locked up and away from my (our) kid!".

Last week, she took the concealed carry class herself.

The way I did it was to 1st, tell her that I wanted to show her how to "make sure the gun was unloaded and safe. Just in case I accidentally leave it out." So, I went out and bought some snap caps, loaded them in the revolver and walked her through how to clear the weapon. We did this 1 or 2 times a week for a month or so. Eventually she became very comfortable because she knew when it was safe (only after SHE had checked it...).

Next I got a baby sitter lined up and said, "I'd like you to come to the range with me just once. Come on! It'll be fun! It'll be date, after we shoot we'll go to a movie and have some dinner. I promise if you don't like it, we'll pack up and leave."

Got to the range and it was ALL about her. Spent 5 mins or so reviewing (again) all the safety rules. No macho BS, no "watch me do it". Just load it up and let her do it. At short range. Like 5 yards. Shoot-n-See targets. NOT a bad guy silhouette. Very light target loads. After that she was hooked as far as shooting goes. She had fun and wasn't preached to.

Whenever she asked why I carry, I say, "I love my family and would do anything to keep you safe. And I remember what happened to John & Irene Bryant."

I hope it's not shameful, but I ALWAYS cite "John & Irene Bryant" when I talk about why I carry. They were an 80 year old couple murdered in the state forest near here not too long ago. Absolutely senseless. It just so happens that they were murdered along a trail that we frequent often during our hikes. The point is, I was specific about why I carry and give a sincere and close to home example rather than saying, "Cause bad stuff can happen." Be concrete, not abstract. No bravado, no BS, no politics.

After a while she got to see that my carrying was normal. When she finally started inquiring about getting the CHP, I didn't jump right up and haul her ff to the range. I asked her why. I asked her where/when she thought she would carry. Basically I asked probing questions to get her to say she wanted to do it. No prodding, just info and "well, this is why I do it, but you'll need to make up your mind yourself."

Essentially, don't push to hard, but be ready with education. I think my showing her how to make it safe was the key to whole conversation.

 

[KICK4426]

Thanks, that was great advise.... I think I'm going to have to show her how to "make my AR safe" one of these days. She cannot stand that rifle. She says that it scares her but, I have a feeling that it's only becuase she does not understand how it works. I'm sure it will be alot easier for me to show her how to make it safe than it would be for me to convince her to sit down with her and explain how it functions.

Thanks Again!

 

[Mt Shooter]

My wife took a defensive shooting class with some friends. she came out of there and went down and fill out the paper work. Had her inerview last week.

Before this she would go shooting with me on the weekends while I practice for USPSA. she would shoot around 100 rounds just for fun. now I think she takes it a bit more than that.

 

[Kindrox]

My wife is the product of two anti's, and did not want to carry for a number of years.

Watch the news. Point out the "can't happen here" crime and the "defended themselves from criminals" stories. And wait and capitalize on the teachable moments.

I recall two teachable moments at the end of my wife non-carrying career.

A lady a couple blocks away was abducted from her driveway. All the things you can imagine happend to the woman. We live in a neightborhood that incourages the foolish to "feel safe" and this incident helped bring reality home for her.

The second moment was when she dialed 911 for a situtation that could have needed a cop "right now" and the officer took 35 minutes to turn up. Thankfully nothing serious happend but the wife saw that if it had, she would have had to deal with the situation on her own for 35 minutes.

Real life finally stripped her of illusions and she finally grew up and faced the fact that life might bring a situation to her in which her odds of survival got much better if she was armed. I find that most people don't carry because they are able to satisfy themselves that nothing will ever happen, and if it does, somebody else will deal with it. That is the crutch you have to kick out from under your wife.

 

[Yo Mama]

My wife doesn't want to carry at all, and it pisses me off! I'm a pushy guy, so it's come up often. Her work would make it hard to have on her during the day and week, but other times I wish she would get her permit. She's pretty independent however, and it's up to her.

However, the house is a different story. I'm glad to see you have had the kids and guns talk. At home, it's not an argument. There are guns, and my wife knows how to use them. She's comfortable with shooting them, and knows how to get to them quickly.

I think I'm going to have to show her how to "make my AR safe" one of these days.

I'd think twice on this. No safety is safe! Not to the user anyways. If it's in a safe, and laws allow, I have mine loaded and ready. If she needed it, and couldn't figure how to use it, it's no good.

In my house, we tried a scenario with a door kicked in and she had to shoot me with a dummy round. Problem wasn't that she couldn't get to the guns in time, but the problem was the one's with a safety could not be made ready in time as she was flustered. Revolver is hers for this reason alone.

 

[eric.cartman]

3 years ago, when I got my first gun and CCW, she jumped every time i touched it.

fast forward to today... my 1911 is now hers . the second she got her green card 2 years ago she applied for CCW. now she carries KelTec P32 everywhere, loves shooting my AR15, think my saiga 12 is ugly, and can't imagine ever not having or carrying guns.

oh yea, and she is totally cool with me teaching our son shooting, reloading, etc etc once he's big enough.

she's a keeper

 

[possum]

yes and no, not when i am around, and not enough when i am not around.

 

[AKElroy]

+1 on getting her into a defensive shooting class. I have been married 20 years. The Mrs. & I agree on guns & she carries, but it is always helpful to have an outside voice of some authority make the case. If you can find a well respected local trainer w/ LEO experience, the real life scenarios they share can be very powerful. I know the classes I have taken have compelled me to always carry, even when it is a serious pain in certain situations. If you can swing the expense, Thunder Ranch w/ Clint Smith or Lethal Force Institute w/ Massad Ayoob would be top choices.

 

[snorky18]

My wife has her permit simply because we share a car, and if I ever have to leave mine in the car (b/c of some dumb laws) while we're out, she's covered.

She doesn't want to carry, and I certainly would never make her.

Anyone spouse who carries b/c their spouse or someone else "makes" them but doesn't want to carry probably wouldn't be able to use it if they ever needed it to, making it more of a liability than an asset.

She doesn't mind me carrying at all, understands why I do, and knows safety rules and how to operate my carry guns.

On a sidebar, even if your spouse is an avid anti / gun hater, I am of the opinion that if there are any firearms in the house, EVERY person old enough to understand should understand basic safety rules about them, even if they don't like it.